avatarJulene Cole

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Abstract

May</li><li>preparing an application for a coaching certification</li></ul><p id="f352">All of these tasks were stimulated by the productivity urge.</p><p id="d2f7">I was overloading myself. Also, I noted with more than a hint of regret that many of these quests to be productive were putting undue pressure on others to be productive too.</p><p id="cd85">It was time to be <i>less productive</i>.</p><p id="fb98">I set about culling my list.</p><h1 id="47d5">Forgiveness</h1><p id="fbe1">Let’s be real for a second. There’s a pandemic out there. We’re all in quarantine. A lot of people have lost their jobs and even those of us lucky to still be working have all but lost the structure to our days and weeks.</p><p id="dc2f">News cycles are punishing. Everything takes more effort. Energy levels are low. Mood can be low too. It is not a time to overload: it is a time for self-care.</p><p id="4f3b" type="7">That can actually mean doing less. And that is ok.</p><p id="3467">I began cancelling things. I cancelled the webinar on remote working. My friend who was organising it with me immediately said thank you.</p><p id="1f94">I postponed the second work-related webinar. Two work colleagues agreed it was a good idea.</p><p id="09b7">Launching the new Medium Publication is still an ambition, but I am taking my foot off the gas with that. It can happen later in the year. I forgive myself.</p><p id="0812">I am also taking the pressure off myself to write at all. I still get huge enjoyment out of writing for Serious Scrum, but my inspiration is lower, and that is ok: it always ebbed and flowed. I forgive myself for my lower rate of publication.

Illumination is a new project for me. I have no idea how much I will write here and, you know what, I forgive myself for that uncertainty as well.</p><p id="e954">Writing this feels confessional and unusual for me. It is not how I normally write. But it feels good. As I write, I forgive myself for over-sharing.</p><p id="4a1d">I hope others will recognise something in my story and perhaps begin to forgive themselves for doing less too.</p><h1 id="87bd">Distraction</h1><p id="a2be">It’s probably fair to point out: I didn’t cancel <i>everything</i>.</p><p id="e2c4">The meet-up in May was a request from a friend and the topic is one I’ve written ab

Options

out already, so I’m going to continue with that. My friend did ask me this weekend if I was still ok to do it, and I had an opportunity to say no. For once, I didn’t automatically dismiss the idea of saying no. I forgive myself for thinking about saying no.</p><p id="0f00">Also, I continue to be inspired to apply for a coaching certification. This is a long-term ambition of mine, and there is no time-sensitivity to the application process. I choose to take that pressure off myself now, and I also choose to forgive myself for taking my own sweet time with it.</p><p id="d7b2">I allow myself these distractions because they are meaningful to me.</p><p id="53ec">Also, without the overload of other tasks, I can do these at a pace that makes more sense to me.</p><figure id="20f5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*IiUm2PXzVt6r4zhg"><figcaption><b>Flight Safety Instructions</b></figcaption></figure><h1 id="e2b3">Moving forward, one step at a time</h1><p id="9703">You do not <i>have to</i> be productive.</p><p id="c7d3">You need to care for yourself so that you can care for others. Watch out for the to-do list and that feeling of being a little overwhelmed. It can creep up on you.</p><p id="9383">Forgive yourself for taking on less. It’s ok.</p><p id="2b1a">Forgive yourself for your low energy. It’s ok.</p><p id="4d89">Forgive yourself for your low mood or for those days when you don’t want to do anything at all.</p><p id="5160">It’s ok to not be ok.</p><p id="b459">Flight safety instructions tell us:</p><blockquote id="a104"><p>“If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person.” (Source: <a href="https://activerain.com/blogsview/2535480/put-your-own-oxygen-mask-on-first">Active Rain</a>)</p></blockquote><p id="0be5">Self-care means that, rather than feeling pressured to be more productive, you might need to go out for a walk instead.</p><p id="45ff">By taking on less and looking after yourself, you will put your figurative oxygen mask on. This will help you to breathe better.</p><p id="5277">First things first. Breathe.</p><p id="8085">If you can, cancel the things you don’t need to do right away.</p><p id="5e33">It’s ok. You can forgive yourself.</p></article></body>

How to Determine if Someone is Mature

Learn 12 of the telltale signs

Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels

Maturity is the behavioral expression of emotional health and wisdom. Maturity is not determined by age but by the actions and understanding we gain as we grow. I have seen some exceptionally mature teenagers and some extremely immature middle-aged adults.

Maturity is the ability to think, speak, and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations. ~ Samuel Ullman

What are the signs of a mature person? Do those that we consider mature ever act immature? And vice-versa? Of course! Maturity can ebb and flow like the waves of the ocean, depending on the situation or the company we keep.

We all have those friends that bring out the immaturity in us when we’re having fun and acting silly. There is nothing wrong with a temporary state of immaturity by having some childlike entertainment as an escape from our busy, everyday lives.

True maturity, though, is how we perceive others and how we act during times of adversity or stress.

What a mature person understands

  • A mature person does not judge others. Maturity brings the awareness that we are not perfect therefore we have no right to judge what others do or say. Ridiculing an overweight person for eating a donut? That’s a sign of immaturity. Making fun of the clothes someone else is wearing? Another sign of immaturity. Not even noticing nor commenting on what anyone else is eating or wearing or whatever? That is absolutely the act of a mature person.
  • A mature person is able to respect the differences of others. We are all human. We may have different skin color, different religious views, sexual orientation, political beliefs, or even intelligence levels. A genuinely mature person is able to understand that there are differences and respect these distinctions, allowing others to fully celebrate themselves without fear of condemnation nor vilification.
  • A mature person understands that humans have strengths as well as weaknesses. Maturity brings about the ability to understand and accept the whole person, not to only focus on one or the other. Being able to discover our weaknesses as well as our strengths too, helps us realize how similar all of humanity is.
  • A mature person recognizes that most of the bad behavior of others stems from anxiety or fear. While there are some truly heinous individuals in the world, the greater part of those that display bad behavior are reacting to some form of subconscious fear or some type of anxiety. It may be a fear of not fitting in with their friends. Fear of not being able to support their family. The anxiety of knowing your parents don’t support you. There is a myriad of reasons that are unknown to the rest of us. An honestly mature person can discern this and be more understanding. (This doesn’t mean a mature person finds the bad behavior acceptable. They are merely able to be conscious of the reasoning of said behavior.)
  • A mature person realizes that what others think of you is no longer important. Learning to be free of worrying about what others may think of what you do or say is utterly liberating. Feeling confident in yourself as a person, parent, sibling, employee, boss, friend, acquaintance, or even a stranger on the street is a benefit of being a mature soul.
Photo by Brandy from Pexels

How a mature person acts

  • A mature person knows how to prioritize. Going out to party every weekend is no longer as important as being home with family. Saving money from each paycheck to provide a better future for themselves and their loved ones takes precedence over splurging on the latest unneeded gadget or electronic toy.
  • A mature person does not make comparisons with other people and is supportive. Having the compassion to be excited for a friend’s achievement instead of feeling jealous. Helping a family member through troubled times and not feeling superior because your life is going well. Encouraging a co-worker’s dieting efforts rather than attempting to sabotage them as you struggle with your weight issues. All of these are examples of a mature person not comparing themselves to others but of being a loving and supporting person.
  • A mature person does not believe everything they read or hear online. The advent of the Internet and social media has created a world full of experts, or so they would like to think. Being able to differentiate the writings and tones of all of these so-called “experts” involves experience and common sense. Understanding that the person touting the latest diet miracle who happens to have a million followers on YouTube may merely be entertaining, not a trained medical professional with an actual healthy weight loss educational background.
  • A mature person does not share every aspect of their life online. Balancing the excitement of sharing new baby photos with omitting a tiff with a sibling. Posting a tasty new recipe yet not bad-mouthing a sufferable boss. Having the awareness to know what is acceptable to share on social media and what should remain private is a cornerstone of maturity.
  • A mature person admits their mistakes. Life is full of its ups and downs, and as humans we all make mistakes. Shifting the blame and not owning up to what you did wrong is a beacon of immaturity.

I witnessed this exact scenario one morning at work ~

  • A mature person learns from their mistakes. Not only admitting your mistakes a sign of maturity but taking the opportunity to learn from the mistake is of more importance. Get in a little fender-bender? Explore what happened and apply that knowledge to driving more safely in the future. Spout out something hurtful during a heated discussion? Apologize, and ascertain the underlying reasons why such hateful sentiments were said. Work on what you have discovered about your true feelings to resolve those issues.
  • A mature person accepts and embraces their age. Immature individuals will often lie about their accurate age. They dress inappropriately to attempt to fit in with the younger crowd. Maturity allows us to enjoy the age we are, understand all we have been to get here, and be grateful for the experiences we’ve had. We look forward to what the future may bring us and know that we will persevere.

I wrote this about being in my 50’s and loving it ~

Final thoughts

Humanity rides the waves of maturity like a cruise ship on its way across the ocean. It bobs and weaves, and at times is taken off course by an unexpected thunderstorm. As captains of our ship, we have the ability to determine the best approach to take to steer our way back towards our destination of becoming mature individuals.

Self Improvement
Mental Health
Life
Life Lessons
Health
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