How to Become an Emotionally Mature Leader

The importance of integrating emotional intelligence with reasoning

Introduction

This story aims to explain why emotional maturity requires both emotional and mental intelligence and how integrating them creates the best outcome for leaders and followers.

We all have some kind of leadership role in society. Parenthood is a good example. Emotionally mature parents can have better relationships with their children.

Emotions and logic are the two primary factors in making decisions. However, emotions pull our strings most of the time, surpassing pure logic and reasoning. Emotions affect our physical and mental health.

We need to deal with our emotions but also understand the emotions and feelings of others. Emotions are experienced at home, in communities, and in the workplace.

Emotions are so widespread that they even can affect the economy. They involve sales and marketing. Many markets are affected by people’s emotions. They go up and down based on people’s behavior and emotional decisions.

Emotions are extra crucial for leaders and managers. Dealing with people and leading teams require robust emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (EQ) involves awareness and management of one’s own emotions and understanding others’ emotions.

Emotions make us human and play a critical role in our relationships. Emotional maturity requires emotional intelligence, hands-on emotion-handling skills, emotional hygiene, and reasoning.

In my cognitive science studies, the framework I developed included integrating the limbic system with the neo-cortex. I simplify and explain this integration framework under ten primary headings.

1 — Relationships

Emotionally mature leaders with high EQ can handle interpersonal relationships more effectively and with empathy and compassion.

They also have self-esteem and self-love, attracting them to others.

2 — Empathy and Compassion

Empathy and compassion for others have a magical impact on leaders and their followers.

This natural human need is genuine and experienced in all social settings.

Whether they are our peers, superiors, or subordinates, we can always communicate better by using empathy and compassion for others,

3 — Persuasive Communication

Effective communications depend on emotional maturity. This means that emotionally intelligent and mature people are relatively better communicators.

Putting ourselves in others’ shoes is a proven communication enabler.

Consideration of others’ unique circumstances with kindness, empathy, and compassion can open communication channels for leaders.

4 — Self-Awareness

Emotional intelligence makes leaders more self-aware of their fluctuating moods, changing feelings, and mental drives.

Such self-awareness makes a tremendous difference for leaders when dealing with followers. Once leaders are aware of their moods, emotions, and attitudes, they can take appropriate actions for their communication and interactions with others.

Self-awareness also helps with self-regulation. Self-regulation is an indicator of emotional maturity.

5 — Delayed gratification

Delayed gratification is a well-researched topic within the emotional maturity context.

Emotionally intelligent and mature leaders can make better decisions by delaying their gratifying urges for immediate reactions, which may not necessarily serve their best interests when experiencing low moods and debilitating negative emotions.

Studies show that children educated in delayed gratification became more successful than those who were not educated in this skill.

6 — Authenticity

Emotionally mature leaders behave genuinely and authentically.

Their behavior and attitudes reflect their authentic self in their communication and interactions with others. They align with their principles based on authenticity.

Genuine behavior and attitudes are noticeable and welcomed by their followers.

7 — Vulnerability

Emotionally mature leaders do not strive for perfection. They strive to be their best version by refraining from being and showing themselves as perfect.

Every human has a flaw. Therefore emotional maturity requires demonstrating vulnerability. Authentic leaders do not fear showing their vulnerabilities and even failures.

Emotionally mature leaders are not afraid of criticism. Emotionally mature leaders see criticism as feedback for improvement.

Paradoxically, offering human vulnerabilities to others empowers authentic leaders, makes them more confident and more balanced, and even makes them stronger leaders.

I observed these types of leaders in my social and work engagements. Their demonstrated vulnerability made them more credible in my eyes and the eyes of our team members.

8 — Reasoning

I have primarily touched on emotions so far. However, logic is also essential for emotional maturity.

Without logic, we cannot deal with our emotions effectively.

A logical approach is usually associated with mental intelligence, aka intelligence quotient (IQ).

Even though a certain amount of IQ is necessary for foundations and overall organizational structures, EQ makes the difference in leadership excellence. Emotionally intelligent leaders deal with people more effectively than high-IQ leaders.

9 — Self-orientation and people focus

Emotionally mature leaders are less self-oriented and people-focused because they know that their success depends on other people.

Businesses cannot gain success with just leaders. Both leaders and followers demonstrate success.

Even though leaders are in the spotlight, followers' success matters as much as the leaders’ success.

10 — Motivation and inspiration

Motivation and inspiration are essential in the workplace.

Emotionally mature leaders can motivate their followers to be creative and productive for work purposes.

They also encourage and build up people to help them find the best versions of themselves.

Conclusions

Emotional maturity requires both emotional and mental intelligence. EQ and IQ go hand in hand. Some thought leaders only focus on EQ, and some only focus on IQ. From my experience, both are essential for emotional maturity.

Emotional maturity is about knowing and managing one’s own emotions and understanding and managing other people’s emotions simultaneously. Emotional intelligence and maturity can contribute to our mental health.

From my studies, the critical concepts contributing to emotional maturity are authenticity, empathy, compassion, motivation, and demonstrating vulnerability to build sustainable relationships.

These concepts are usually implemented with mindfulness practices. Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a happy and healthy life.

Reference: A Technical Excellence Framework for Innovative Digital Transformation Leadership. I share similar stories in my leadership collection.

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