How to Be a Good Girlfriend (Not Perfect)

Being a girlfriend isn’t easy.

It takes patience, understanding, and a whole lot of love.

But it’s worth it, because nothing is more special than being in a loving relationship. And though you may not be perfect, that’s okay. You just need to know how to be a good girlfriend.

You want to do everything right, make your partner happy, and make sure that your relationship is strong and healthy.

But perfect girlfriendhood isn’t possible — and trying to be perfect can actually ruin your relationship. So how can you be a good girlfriend without becoming a perfectionist? Read on for some tips on how to make your relationship the best it can be.

Don’t always try to be perfect

It’s important that you don’t give yourself impossible standards or try to be the absolute best at everything. It just isn’t possible for anyone to do that, and it will only stress you out.

There are some things you should take pride in and want to become good at, but there are other things that you can’t control — and trying to force yourself to be perfect at those things is a waste of time.

Be patient with your partner

Everyone has bad days, and you shouldn’t expect perfection from anyone — including yourself or your partner. Be ready to forgive them for their mistakes, and accept the flaws that they simply can’t change. Remember that you love them for who they are, not just because of what they have achieved or the things that they do well.

Listen with an open mind

When your partner is trying to tell you something, don’t immediately jump to conclusions or start planning your rebuttal in your head. Try to really listen to what they’re trying to say, and hear them out before you respond.

Then, if it’s something that needs work on your end, you can try talking about ways that you might be able to fix the problem — but remember that this might not be possible.

Don’t be possessive or jealous

It can be hard not to get jealous when you see your partner flirting with a beautiful stranger, or even just talking to an attractive friend. You might feel tempted to constantly check up on them or constantly demand their attention, but those things won’t make you happy.

Instead, have confidence in yourself and know that your partner loves you. And if you do feel that jealousy is getting out of hand, try to work on it with them. You both might be able to address the problem together.

Do your best to be physically attractive

Your body is the temple you live in, so clean it up and take care of it. Smell good, have a nice wardrobe, work out, be healthy — do whatever you must to present yourself as being attractive.

It is possible to overdo this point. After all, a narcissist will only care about themselves. You want to attract your partner, but you don’t want them to think you’re only attracted to them solely because they’re good looking.

Don’t play games

If you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone, tell them up front. Although it might hurt for a little while, everyone’s better off knowing where they stand.

If you string them along without telling them how you feel, then your partner will eventually find out and you’ll look like a jerk for playing games.

Be willing to compromise

People who are too stubborn will never build a healthy relationship because no one is always right when it comes to decisions that involve both parties. Instead of letting petty arguments get you down, resolve them by compromising on some of your needs for the sake of your partner’s happiness.

Remember to keep things fun

Make sure that you always have time to enjoy each other’s company. Go on dates, try new activities together, and find out what makes each other laugh so much. Having fun doesn’t mean you’re not taking things seriously — it simply means that you appreciate each other’s company and want to have a good time.

Don’t overdo the PDA

Relationships are about two people coming together as one unit, not as a show for others to see how great your love life is. However, being modest doesn’t mean you can’t hold hands or kiss in public every once in a while.

Being comfortable around each other and letting others know that you’re loved is healthy for any relationship, but don’t go overboard or people will think you’re just seeking attention.

Show interest in your partner’s hobbies and interests

Don’t make your partner feel like they have to choose between you and their interests — try to support them. If they love watching football, watch a game with them.

If they’re super into comics, take the time to read one. You’ll be surprised at how much it means when someone shows an interest in something that you love.

Don’t try to change your partner

Everyone has the right to be themselves, and trying to change your partner into someone they’re not will only push them away. They should feel comfortable being who they are around you, whether that’s shy or outgoing, silly or serious.

If you don’t like certain things about them, talk to them about it. But don’t expect their behavior or personality to change for you, because they shouldn’t have to.

Don’t play the blame game

It’s easy to see a problem in a relationship as your partner’s fault — even if it’s not intentional on their part. Maybe you’ve been arguing a lot lately, or maybe you’ve been having trouble connecting as often as you’d like.

When this happens, try not to point the blame at your partner — even if it feels like they’re responsible, which might not always be the case. It’s more helpful and healthy for both of you to come up with a solution together.

Be ready for arguments

Arguing with your partner is normal, and it’s something that you’ll probably have to go through at some point. Don’t try to avoid arguments by refusing to fight with your significant other, because that’ll only lead to resentment in the future.

If you’re mad about something they’ve said or done, be ready and willing to tell them — and try to do it in a non-accusatory way, if possible.

Use “I” statements when arguing

When couples argue, it’s easy to shift the blame onto each other without meaning to — but this only makes the argument worse, and can damage your relationship in severe cases.

When you want to talk about something that bothers you, try using “I” statements to avoid placing the blame on your partner — for instance, instead of saying “You never listen to me”, say “I feel ignored when you don’t listen to what I’m trying to tell you.”

Respect your partner’s privacy

Every couple has boundaries that they have to set on one another, and it’s important to respect those boundaries even if you disagree with them.

You don’t have a right to read your partner’s private messages on social media, go through their text logs without them knowing, or listen in on conversations they’re having privately. If you want to be trusted with these things, you have to give your partner the same trust in return.

Don’t be too clingy or needy

Everyone wants love and attention — but if you find yourself begging your partner for more affection than they usually show you, or if you keep checking in on them to see where they are and who they’re with, it might start to make them feel suffocated or insecure about the future of your relationship.

If you want to avoid this, try giving them some space every once in a while, and letting them do their own thing without asking too many questions.

Communicate openly and honestly

The best relationships are built on communication. You must be able to talk through problems. No matter how much you love each other, or how long you’ve been together, it’s important for couples to be able to give each other the benefit of the doubt when they have disagreements.

But if you can’t talk about your problems without yelling at one another, accusing them of being dishonest, or making them feel guilty for spending time with other people, your communication problems will only get worse over time.

Don’t try to read their mind. Instead, talk openly and honestly about what you’re thinking and feeling, and set some ground rules for how you want to be treated by each other.

Be willing to apologize

Everyone makes mistakes every now and then — but if you can’t admit that you’re wrong, or if you try to turn every argument into a blame game instead of taking responsibility for your part in it, you might start getting resentful of each other.

Acknowledge their feelings and apologize without trying to justify your own behavior — not only will it make them feel better about yourself, but it will give them a stronger sense of connection with you.

Never give up on your partner or on yourself

Even if it feels like nothing is ever going right, remember that love can keep things together when all else fails. Trusting your heart and being true to yourself will put you in a better position to give and receive love in the future.

So, remember, when your partner tries to tell you something important, try to work it out with them instead of bottling up your feelings. And when you make an effort, your relationship will be stronger for it.

The bottom line

If you want your relationship to last, remember that perfect girlfriendhood isn’t possible. Trying to be perfect will only stress you out.

So rather than spending all of your energy on perfection, focus instead on being happy with who you are. Being yourself is the best way to make your partner happy, and it’s also the best way to enjoy your relationship.

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