COURTSHIP | DATING ADVICE | FEMININTY
How To Ask a Lady Out on a Date
Ladies, you’re gonna love this! Gentlemen, you too!
Wait you excited bunnies..
Before we begin, you have to make sure you have established a level of comfort and trust with each other. I’m not a fan of first dates where you’re sitting across the table from each other asking interview questions. That didn’t lead me or other single people to anything significant.
I’m old school. I value patience. I’m blessed to be in a stable relationship. I see the value in some things being old school. I love being courted. I love being led. I’m open to learning, growth and advancement. But some things are better left unchanged because there is value in those traditions. You may not like everything I say, in which case, you’re not my audience. I like to keep things simple and real.
There’s a reason why your coffee, drinks and dinner dates are not getting you anywhere close to being in a relationship. You’re here, so hear me out. Besides, more and more men are feeling hopeless about meeting women who are serious about a relationship. Why would they bother taking a woman out? Women have forgotten how to be women. Men are afraid of what they may do that would flip out a woman, for instance — hold the door open. It would piss off a feminist woman who spends most of her hours in her masculine energy.
Ladies, this is why I write about nurturing the feminine if you want to be in a relationship with a man.
How to find connection
In this age of instant gratification and more is better, I see how people are disconnected from themselves. Being busy, being on social media, addictions of all kinds makes you a zombie and disconnects you from yourself. A person who is not connected with him or herself cannot connect with another. Why? Because it requires you to be present. Most people are living in the past or thinking about the future. Stay grounded, connected and present to yourself.
Find someone with similar values
It takes time to find a person who shares the same or similar values as yours. It’s well worth the effort you put into finding this person. With such a person you can talk about everything under the sun. The fact that you spent time getting to know him or her will help you understand what they’re like. This is what helps you establish a potential relationship with them.
Now you may ask the woman out on a date
I love it when my man takes the lead and decides where we’re going. A year and a few months into getting to know each other as friends, he invited me on a date. He said:
“Can I take you out for pizza?”
- He asked me out.
- He decided where we’re going so it removes all decision making at my end. He’s taken care of that.
I said “yes”. He said, “Cool. I’ll pick you up at 7.”
Pick me up?? I haven’t had many dates where I’ve been picked up. I don’t know about you guys, but I loved being asked out by my man like that. This is how I like to be asked out.
We had an established relationship — A friendship
Build your relationship on a strong foundation
You have to keep reminding yourself of this when you’re out in the market. What is the foundation of your relationship? What leg are you starting your courting journey on? Eating a meal is an intimate activity with an absolute stranger. Coffee, dinner and drinking dates are time restrictive. The date revolves around consumption and shallow conversations more often than not. These types of dates are desperate attempts to test quick chemistry and lead to bedroom activities.
If your social skills are sucky, you’re gonna be dying to exit, and luckily for you that coffee, dinner or drink date will come to an end in an hour or two. Phew! Then you can escape. But the problem will remain until you address it.
If your social skills are keeping you from having meaningful conversations, that’s what you can focus on and learn. This way you can practice what you learn. That’s how you’ll improve at this game. You have to have the mindset of a sports person. You win some, you lose some. You keep playing until you reach your goal.
Too many people don’t even know how to have a conversation with someone. It’s a skill. Listening, paying attention, body language all communicate your level of interest to and in the other person.
There’s nothing more satisfying than a meaningful conversation. If you’re a sapiophile, which is someone who is turned on by intelligence, you have a valid need for stimulating conversations.
Conclusion: What grown men want from grown women
What men want most from women is co-operation and femininity. Men want a woman who is at peace with herself. The question women need to ask themselves is if they can provide what a man values.
Ladies, your conversations need to move away from what you expect from a man, and move toward learning what you can give that a man will value.
And then your man will happily take you out. Wanting to spend time with you is an investment. People invest in that which they perceive as valuable. How are you an asset worth investing in? How are you valuable to yourself as well as a man?
You’re invited to my upcoming event. I’ll be teaching foundations for self-love based on my book WIRED FOR SELF-LOVE. Feel free to check out the below links.
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