LOVE & RELATIONSHIP | COURTING | FRIENDSHIP
He Was Different From Day One. He’s Now My Husband
Our journey off the beaten path was worth it.
Bold, bearded and bald.
The first thing I noticed about him the moment we matched on the dating app was that he was bold.
I remember one of the first things he told me was “You have found the most genuine person on this dating app.”
He held himself with high regard.
I was taken aback. Wow! Who in the world ever talks like that. That’s a pretty bold claim to make IF he’s being honest. Yeah, I know, right? Who on a dating app is honest? What’s the likelihood of their existence? Well, there was us. I truly believe people want to find a partner to spend their life with. They do exist, and your search doesn’t have to be limited to dating apps.
Fun facts for you:
- I wouldn’t normally chat with someone who has seen me while I was clueless about what they looked like. Looks matter because, hey, I’m fit, and if the other person is not, he’s out. Fit and non-smoker were my non-negotiables.
- He had no photo of his face. I broke my first rule with him and I chatted with him and that was one of the first things he told me. I don’t remember how the rest of the conversation went, but we both quickly exchanged Whatsapp numbers and found a day to meet.
- Guys with long hair make me go weak in the knees. Finding someone like that was high on my checklist. I’m now with Mr. Baldy — the sexiest one on the planet. I have no shame in sharing that I had these shallow things on my checklist which I gradually got rid of.
After a few really amazing dates of hiking and biking (Hong Kong is pretty safe. I didn’t end up in a bag obviously. Lucky you. Lucky me.) I got dumped by Mr. Baldy. I was upset. Moreover, he wanted to stay friends with me, which made me even more mad because he chose to be with someone else.
Then he told me that he always had girls as his friends whether they were hot or ordinary looking. He asked me if I had ever had male friends and I said No. That’s what made me think “I don’t know what it’s like to have a platonic relationship with a man because most men are attracted to me. Then I’m either interested in them or I’m not. I didn’t entertain the possibility of friendship with them.
He had the ability to open my mind to something I was unwilling to entertain.
As I got to know him as a friend I realized how similar our values and demeanor were — he was kind, honest, genuinely caring and thoughtful. He kept his word. Such a person is rare!
I missed the presence of a man in my life especially when I had to move houses or move heavy things around the house. It was the one thing that brought me to tears every single time. I asked him to help me and he agreed. He was there. I was grateful. I thanked him and treated him to dinner.
I thought “This is amazing. To actually be friends with him and experience a man’s presence in my life in a way I never had.”
I asked him for advice on how to handle conflict at work. He asked me how to communicate uncomfortable topics with a loved one.
I realized I could talk to this guy about anything under the sun. That’s what I always wanted.
As I got to know him, I realized he was the type of man I wanted, someone reliable. I opened my mind and let my checklist fly out the window into nothingness. I became even more present.
He knew I was a Toastmaster and that learning to be more confident and communicate better was important to me. After I ended my tenure as the president of my club, I quit Toastmasters and wanted to pursue storytelling. He asked me to get in touch with the local storytelling group. I did.
I was to share my story before a live audience in a couple months. He offered to help me rehearse and improve my storytelling. He was my audience. He gave me cues when I forgot my lines.
One day while I was rehearsing my story, I noticed a certain look in his eyes that made me aware of a shift in the energy between us. I realized that I was beginning to fall in love with him, and I was conscious of it every step along the way.
The day arrived when I was to tell my story before a live audience. He sat in the front row video recording me. It was December 5, 2018.
Storytelling changed my life. I think I found the courage to tell him how I was falling in love with him. I wasn’t afraid of having my heart broken. I had a vision for me, and now for us thanks to all those conversations we were open to having.
A month after telling that story, Mr. Baldy ended the relationship with his girlfriend that was going nowhere (the one I was initially dumped for). We’ve been together since early Jan 2019. Life is beautiful.
Conclusion
He was selling himself to me from the moment we connected on the dating app. I bought what he was selling.
It wasn’t him I was giving a chance to. I realized I was taking a chance on myself — A chance to find true connection and a meaningful relationship.
Are you willing to give love and yourself a chance?
To my single female followers who want to get married someday, I hope the below stories are a helpful read. Email me if you have further questions at ✍️ [email protected].
https://nehasonney.gumroad.com/l/betterrelationships
© Neha Sonney | WIRED FOR SELF-LOVE | Become a Medium member today!
