How Quitting Social Media Influenced My Confidence

No amount of likes can compensate for your shattered self-worth.

Confidence is sexy.

Confidence is magnetic.

Photoshop and a bunch of filters are an easy fix to boost up your short-lived fierceness.

What can make it stick? Finding your true voice.

We can only perform our best when we are positively wired. Does scrolling through your feed make you satisfied with your life? Is your immediate thought: I need to change my life? Wrong answer. The only aspects you need to change are your external influences and internal understanding of the fake world of social media.

Seeking external validation through social media became an addiction we all unconsciously crave to keep our self-confidence alive. The issue remains: the drug we feed ourselves with is also the reason we have grown into needing it in the first place.

There is no bottom unless we are the ones who eventually end up at the lowest level of our self-esteem ledge. It is easy to get external validation. It is impossible to build happiness upon it.

How can we bounce back to our original selves? No self-esteem issues, no comparisons necessary.

Get off the circus. Quit the madhouse.

My first step was to leave social media altogether. No posting, no checking up on the life of somebody else. My world became my sanctuary.

This decision uncovered the season of unconditional freedom and joy from everyday life. No rushing through my mealtime. No peeing while scrolling through the feed and catching up on the latest news. Mindfulness became my permanent state. When I was brushing my teeth, I focused solely on the activity. Upon waking up, I consciously focused on gratitude for the comfort of my bed, the unfolding of the beautiful day, no mindless speeding through emails or pictures of strangers.

It was also the time when my inspiration hit me like crazy. I needed to channel it into writing, and that is how I took blogging seriously.

After more than a month, I felt the urge to speak my mind. I wanted to connect with others who share the same interests, diversified opinions, so we can inspire one another, not deprive. I decided to unfollow many accounts and friends I no longer connected with on many levels. Letting go of rusty friendships is not a crime, but a privilege we rarely have the courage to exercise. I felt no obligation to linger around.

I have been unaware of the damaging and suffocating pressure social media exerted on my life until I have made the above-mentioned changes. My daily habits and energy transformed dramatically.

Posts on social media are designed to evoke certain emotions in you. The design of likes and drive of the content is built on the premise of chasing more but not feeling enough. Such a shrewdly structured environment becomes degrading and harmful to your self-worth. It kills creativity and the zest for growth.

You are left with no energy to create a passionate lifestyle if you are constantly being sabotaged by the perfectly matched content people wish you to see. It stands for downright manipulation, a form of abuse. You catch yourself thinking: This is how my life should be. This is what I am supposed to be striving for.

I no longer spend time and energy on what others might think.

I am focused solely on my life, no comparisons, no ‘I wish I had that. My authenticity became my superpower. I did not allow it to be seen. I was afraid of being judged. For a good reason. The world of social media is thriving on assessment, and the pressure to get better with every step.

The whole community seems to be overly saturated with the notion of not-enoughness. The more unrealistic your photos look, the more interest you stir up. The more insecure you feel about yourself, the louder you become.

Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.

The social media world can drag you into a downward spiral of competitiveness and misery. While proving your worth to the external world, you are sacrificing your energy of achieving your greatest potential. Excessive focus exhausts the focus circuits in your brain. When you get sidetracked by the accomplishments of others o, there is no left to lay the foundation for your internal happiness.

Restore your energy by muting out the external influences and diving inward. Then you will find what ignites the spark in your soul so that your life becomes an investment in your creativity, not a draining tank that requires you to fill it in. It will never be saturated. You will never be satisfied with whatever you have got.

Social media exploit our vulnerability.

We are left defenceless once we start scrolling through the endless feed.

Our minds, like a sponge, soak in all images and captions aimed at capturing our attention. We unconsciously absorb the influx of information, programming our assumptions about the world, leaving us wanting more and feeling not good enough due to the stark comparison of reality versus staged camera life.

After a few weeks of social media cleanse, sitting comfortably in my armchair with time on my hands and a book on my lap, I came to a blissful realization.

I am enough.

This moment is enough.

What I have is enough.

Has anything changed in my physical reality? Has my bank account changed drastically? No external adjustments have been made, just my internal perception of the outside world.

In the past, I depended on external circumstances to define my reality. Nowadays, I realize that my joy and happiness come from the inside, I get to create them.

I no longer chase happiness.

Back in the days when I lived on the hedonic treadmill of achieving more, creating more at any cost, I did not feel settled and content. I was looking for gratification through steady and fancy corporate jobs, superficial relationships. I have found comfort and short-lived satisfaction, though I have never experienced blissful joy through them.

There was always the next thing on my to-do list. There was always a makeup product I needed to add to my collection, a new book on the list which appeared bottomless. Just as my pursuit of happiness. I was never satisfied with what I owned, always striving for more.

We were made to believe that we have to prove our worth by achieving, accumulating and getting other people to like us. Has forcing anything ever led you to fulfilment and long-term contentment?

Happiness cannot be established upon anything external. Genuine joy can only come from within. It is something you tender to daily through awareness, space for all of your emotions, understanding of your crappy days, appreciation of your fantastic ones, finding meaning in every detail of your journey. How can we cultivate gratitude from little things, when we are constantly focused upon the progress of others?

Ditching social media took away the feeling of lack and FOMO. Comparison is the fun-killer. That was exactly what I did, unconsciously, when scrolling through the feed. Now I mindfully get to observe my reactions when faced with idealized content. My body is not their body. My needs are not their needs. My journey is unique.

Social media became a friendly environment.

I have fully embraced my authentic side by establishing my self-worth upon my unconditional appreciation of who I am.

I no longer hesitate to post genuine content: my thoughts and opinions. Whenever I feel like sharing an idea with others, I will transform it into a caption. As I am a writer, that is also where I find my creative outlet.

My friend thrives on taking artistic photos. Having no formal certificate, she became a professional photographer. Due to Instagram, she can promote projects and express herself.

Social media is not the root of all suffering. Once you coin it into your powerhouse, the mean of communication and expression, you can discover a wonderful reservoir of a supportive community and like-minded people.

Don’t engage if it does not serve you.

Keep in mind, what serves me does not need to have the same effect on you. Social media is neither good nor bad. Your perception of it determines the influence it has on you. It can be a great sort of inspiration and bondage with people. However, if sharing content pressures you into changing how you present yourself to the outside world, you should rethink your social media usage.

This rule should be applied to your relationships, your food choices and your lifestyle in general. Stop and rethink your emotions whenever you become preoccupied with any action. How does it make you feel afterwards? It is that simple. And yet, we seem to miss it constantly.

Whenever you want to share something, through a post, a text message to a friend, you should be comfortable doing so.

You are a by-product of your beliefs rummaging through your head. Stop and observe them daily. Make a selection. Throw destructive and petty beliefs away, plant new seeds and nurture them.

How you perceive your surrounding is the mirror of your mental state. You have the power to exercise small changes in your daily routine, your surroundings and devices, which can set you on course for a happier life.

Thank you for reading!

I write to empower and inspire with self-love. Your biggest strength lies in your authenticity, so embrace the whole package. Wear your unique attitude proudly.