How Pegging Empowers Me Sexually

Exploring my dominant side — and my partner’s favorite kink

It’s no secret that my all-time biggest turn-on is being sexually dominated. Tie me up. Gag me. Choke me. Control me. When a man takes charge of my pleasure in the bedroom, I get insanely aroused. I’ve always felt that way.

Though I’ve sometimes struggled with my darker sexual fantasies and whether or not they’re an affront to feminism, I’ve ultimately decided that being a feminist means I have the right to pursue my sexual tastes as long as I’m not harming anyone. I have the right to choose submission and rough sex in a consensual context if that’s what gets me all hot and bothered. (And wowee, does it ever.)

While my partner is quick to meet my needs and please me the way I like, it’s apparent that he’s naturally submissive as well. We both love when the other takes control.

And so we take turns.

Enter my switch identity.

I’m a big advocate for my partner’s pleasure, so it makes sense that I enjoy switching roles from submissive to dominant. Yes, I love to be pleasured — but driving my partner absolutely crazy with lust and desire to the point that he can focus on nothing in the world except for how I’m making him feel? That packs a pretty powerful aphrodisiac.

And so I explore my dominant side with him by strapping on a silicone cock and engaging in one of his favorite fetishes: pegging.

The erotic power of pegging

The very first time I donned a strap-on, I felt totally out of my element. I was nervous and anxious and filled with stage fright. In my charmingly neurotic way, I fretted over whether or not I had the skill to fuck my partner properly and do it well enough to make him feel amazing.

I’m also a perfectionist, and I love to go full-force into new endeavors, especially when I get determined about something.

And that, I’ve learned, is how I like to fuck a man — with determination.

You know what else I learned that very first time? There are few things quite as sexually empowering as strapping on a dildo and fucking my boyfriend.

Even though pegging is not something I would have initially thought of as a turn-on, I’ve since come to find that it can be an incredibly hot experience.

In today’s sexual revolution, there’s still something taboo about it. There’s something about swapping traditional gender roles and engaging in a dominant/submissive power exchange that makes pegging excessively erotic and provocative.

When I thrust into him and he lets out an encouraging moan of pleasure, I feel connected to him. I don’t just mean connected to him by a dildo, though that’s certainly true, but mentally as well.

I understand how he feels when he’s able to elicit the same moans of pleasure from me — when he thrusts his cock deep inside me. I get why cock-owners sometimes feel like they’re the shit. This is the pleasure they’re able to create.

But there’s also the added pressure to perform well. I want to make sure I don’t get so tired out before he comes that I need a break. I want to possess the stamina to be able to take him the way he likes it — with the speed and strength and agility to give him a mind-blowing fuck.

Not only that, but I’ve also gathered a better understanding of just how physically demanding thrusting one’s body continuously over the course of 15 minutes to a half-hour can be. Even though he likes me to start nice and slow, he eventually likes a build-up of deeper, quicker, more powerful thrusts. WHEW! It certainly gives a gal her daily workout.

I now understand that fucking someone is not as easy as it looks.

Pegging provides an all-around satisfying, bonding sexual encounter for my male partner and me — both psychologically and physically.

I highly recommend it.

Getting better with practice

My partner and I didn’t get around to trying pegging until we’d been together for eight years or so. I can’t really explain why we waited so long. Perhaps it’s because he knows I’m not all that into anal play, and it’s something he didn’t want to push on me.

I can’t pinpoint what eventually moved us to take action. Maybe we got to a place where we were ready to experiment more and try new things (we are still very much in that same space, sexually).

Maybe it was all the erotic photos he was sending me of women modeling strap-ons and fucking men with them.

I knew it was a fantasy of his long before we tried it.

I was well aware that prostate stimulation was high on his list of major turn-ons and, eventually, we went for it and bought a strap-on and accompanying dildo during one of our sex store excursions.

Since that first time, we’ve become a bit more practiced in the area of pegging. I’m much less nervous, and I welcome the challenge.

The last time we engaged in pegging, I decided to wear an outfit that would make me feel as sexy as any strap-on model in the industry. I wore my push-up leather corset with silver buckles down the middle, stockings, black boots with heels, and the black strap-on with a long, slender purple dildo.

I felt very much the dominatrix. And, as much as I absolutely LOVE playing the submissive, I felt pretty fucking sexy.

I thought — this is a role I could get used to.

Pegging 101

Pegging is not something you can just dive right into without proper communication, preparation, and research. Here are a few helpful tips I learned along the way.

Find a strap-on that fits. Because fit is so important, it’s helpful to go shopping for one and try it on beforehand instead of ordering online. If you aren’t comfortable trying on in the store, just make sure you send back for the proper size if the one you order online doesn’t fit just right. For pegging to be the most effective, you want to make sure that dildo isn’t going anywhere.

Talk with your partner about the size and shape he wants. My guy wanted a certain length and size (and look), so it was a great learning experience for me to shop with him. There are several options that consider the woman too. Some are double-ended so that we can fuck while being fucked. Some vibrate. I haven’t tried either of those, but they’re certainly on my shopping list.

Always have lube on hand. You’ll want to use a well-made silicone dildo and a water-based lube. Remember, silicone lube can cause the silicone toy to break down. Water-based lube tends to dry out a bit quicker, so keep it within reach.

Start slow. As is the safe procedure for anal sex with any gender, you never want to just plow on in there full force. Prepare the area by inserting a finger or two or a smaller butt plug. Take this time to play with his cock a bit and get him nice and aroused before you fuck him. I like to use my mouth to lick and tease his cock and balls while we do a little anal play with fingers or a butt plug. Then, he’ll turn over on all fours and I’ll slowly insert the dildo inside him.

While there are multiple positions in which you can use the strap-on, having him on all fours happens to be one of my favorites. Grabbing his hips and fucking him that way just feels invigorating.

Communicate with your partner — before and during. And after. My long-term partner is super comfortable with verbally communicating whether or not he’s ready for me to enter him, whether I’m going too hard or not hard enough, or whether I need to go slower or faster or change positions. Not everyone is into being verbal during sex, but this is one of those things you’ll want to talk through, at least a little, to make sure everyone is comfortable.

Multi-tasking is important. While stimulating my partner’s prostate is unbelievably arousing for him, he of course likes his cock to be stimulated at the same time. It’s not all that easy for me to reach around his torso to play with his cock when I’m thrusting, so sometimes he’ll masturbate while I do all the fucking. Or, we get into a position with him on his back so that I can have easy access. There are all kinds of fun methods to the madness. Play around and see what he likes.

Come while you’re pegging him. This is probably my absolute favorite way to go about pegging my partner! Mutual pleasure — and mutual orgasms — is really the way to go.

During our most recent pegging session, I used my small yet powerful bullet vibrator. Once I was inside him, I placed the bullet between the strap-on and my clit, where it fit snugly. Each time I thrust into him, the pleasure of the vibrations increased as the bullet pressed harder against me. When I pulled out, the pressure was less but still noticeable enough to build my speeding freight train of an orgasm. As I fucked him, the rhythmic pleasure built and built, to the point where I had to stay buried deep inside him and find my release — just as he did. It was a whole other level of sexual connection. And it felt FUCKING AMAZING for both of us.

Take the plunge

Ladies, if you haven’t tried fucking a man with a strap-on, please put it on your to-do list. Even if it’s not in your regular routine, I recommend you try it at least once with a willing participant to see what it’s like.

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