Abuse Has No Excuse
How My Best Friend Escaped From Narcissistic Abuse
If he can, so can you.
My friend has been through a lot, like many others who have unfortunately dated, married or had children with narcissistic women. The fact is that narcissistic women are one of the most dangerous creatures out there.
But my friend has managed to escape the abuse.
Just after New Year’s eve with help from his family and friends he was evacuated from this abusive relationship. It was hard for him to leave her, especially since they have a baby together, but he had no other option.
Let me rephrase this he had two options: either he would stay and continue to suffer or he would leave, suffer, suffer even more so and then slowly heal stand back on his feet and be there for his son.
He chose to be there for his son. To give him an example of a healthy relationship even when that means that his son will grow up with his parents separated.
Currently, my friend is in very bad shape, like many who have been emotionally and physically abused by narcissists. He started therapy, he thought of suicide, he thought of going back to her, he thought of going forward.
Currently, he is living in his mother home.
The apartment that he bought is empty, he is unable to pay the mortgage, she robbed him of all the money. She wants the apartment to be sold and money split even. She hasn’t invested a single dime into the apartment, they were never married. But she still demands it. Legally, she has no right to demand any money that she hasn’t invested.
“I will fight you until the end of my life if you don’t give me what I deserve!”
In my opinion, she deserves a big slap across the face. Will my friend fight this injustice? I am not sure yet. He just wants her gone.
She asked for spousal support as well. She never answers his texts or emails. She even ignores the emails from the lawyers. She calls to shout and bully him. Because she knows, that everything that she writes down on paper could be potentially used against her. But if only the system worked this well.
My friend doesn’t have many options.
He can get in more debt and pay her off but that won’t save him from her. He can fight her forever and get in debt again. Or he can just let the bank and the government take the apartment and then wait for the government to demand money from both him and her. Ironic.
“How do narcissists always win?”
They don’t. It is us who let them win. But my friend has won in the long run, he just doesn’t know it yet. He left. So many other men haven’t and are stuck in the loop of abuse.
He got out, physically.
Now it’s time for him to get out emotionally and that will take time. Just yesterday he went with his mother to his apartment to check what was left there.
His narcissistic ex took everything with her. She only left him one thing — a positive pregnancy test on the kitchen counter as a message. It devasted him.
Was she reminding him that she will always be present in his life till death due them apart because of the child? Perhaps. That’s what a narcissistic sociopath would do.
My friend keeps calling me often. He knows that he has a rough road ahead of him. He knows he needs support from his loved ones. He is receiving it.
It’s not his fault what happened to him. Life is a bitch as Maxwell Jordan says. Don’t let her bring you down.
Luckily my friend planned his escape for a month in advance. He didn’t expect her to turn out to be so cruel as she has shown herself to be. He still didn’t see his son. He is trying every day to get to see him.
If he had enough money saved and the baby wasn’t 5 months old he would take him into his own custody, but that again would mean a lawsuit and the likeliness of the government giving him the son is small. Even though he has records of physical abuse and she has serious mental health issues, the best he would get is 50/50 which he could get even without the lawsuit, but she won’t let him see his child.
Every day I reassure my friend that life will get better because he did escape. And if he did, so can you.
How did he escape safely?
- He planned in advance and never hinted that he would be leaving her. He packed all the important documents that he needed and moved them to his mother's house.
- He spoke to people such as friends, family and therapists about the situation that he is in. They gave him the support and encouragement that he needed.
- He saved up a little amount of cash that he could so he was able to survive until the next payroll.
It’s been a few days now that he has learnt not to pick up the phone when she is calling even though it pains him as he always thinks “what if she is calling because of the baby?” He responds in text messages asking if it's child-related and she is silent. It wasn’t child related obviously, she just wished to abuse him more or even worse, make false promises, because soon she will realize what kind of a man she lost.
My friend is a hero.
He is an inspiration. The way he treated her, and I am his witness was impeccable. She was a princess. Whatever she wanted he did for her to make her happy or not to upset her. He even became vegan because of her. He tried to make her go to counselling, he wished things to change, he took so many punches and he lost his tooth and he kept working and providing and giving her all the money.
Soon she will realize what she has lost and she will be an enraged narcissistic single mother who will go around telling lies about him.
But my friend will have his revenge.
My friend will have a good life.
And that my readers is the best revenge there is.
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