Are You Able to Handle Life’s Curveballs?

The lesson I learned from frequent bouts with migraines.

It’s 10:00 am and the workday is jam-packed with candidate interviews. We’re in the throws of the holidays and the evening involves plans with visiting in-laws from out of town. Suddenly, disaster strikes…

My vision begins to blur, starting as a small disruption and soon spreading through my entire visual field. It’s the onset of a migraine, and the day is about to be a whole lot different than planned.

Whether you suffer from migraines or not, everyone is faced with the migraines of life. The situations that completely derail your plans. The types of chaotic circumstances that you have almost no control over and will most certainly have to deviate from your intended course.

Since these life events are unavoidable, it’s best to accept their existence so you are prepared when the time comes. Through the practice of preparedness, humility, and patience, we can be ready to face the migraines of life.

Less than ideal circumstances

Generally speaking, I can expect a migraine once every six to eight weeks. I’m blessed that they’re not more frequent, and their propensity has diminished since I began taking medication to treat ADHD.

Yet when a migraine strikes, it’s still difficult for the entire day to not be thrown into disarray. In the above-mentioned situation, I ended up rescheduling a candidate interview with another recruiter, taking an hour and a half long nap to get through the worst of the symptoms, and bowing out of activities with the in-laws.

For me, migraines are unpredictable and debilitating. They completely sap me of energy and the ability to focus; my senses going haywire only further exasperating the situation. It’s the type of event that will force me to change the day’s plans.

We all experience migraines of life that throw us off balance and disorient our agendas. Situations such as:

• The flat tire on our way to work
• A sick child that must stay home from school
• A phone call from a loved one who needs our last minute help

Even writing these circumstances is mildly anxiety-provoking, and I didn’t even touch on the more serious matters in life that we never want to face.

Knee-jerk reactions

It’s in these moments where, if unprepared, we can let our emotions get the best of us. Whether fight or flight the result is the same, we let stress and anxiety take charge and a clear head go by the wayside.

I can vividly remember a migraine episode during finals week in college that got the best of me. I had just arrived on campus and was minutes away from taking the final for my business ethics course. Within moments of parking it hit me, my vision started to go haywire.

Yep, it was the beginning of a migraine, and there was no escaping it.

Being unprepared as usual I didn’t have any Ibuprofen on hand, so a trip to the vending machine for a rush of caffeine was the best I could do in the moment. I found my seat right about the time my vision cleared up, which is the same moment when the pain itself sets in.

In short, I found myself grasping my head, sweating profusely, nauseous, all the while attempting to pass my business ethics final. My focus quickly turned from giving the exam my all to finishing the final as quickly as possible.

While I passed the course I did indeed fail the final. I‘ve come to learn that I could have approached the situation in an entirely different manner; at best having a shot at taking the test on a different day, and at worst at least having the tools needed to have a fighting chance.

How to have a fighting chance

So what would a redo of the above look like? I would take a 3-step approach to give myself the best chance possible:

1. Be prepared and prioritize

Not having Ibuprofen on me when I know I get infrequent, yet regular, migraines was an oversight to put it nicely. While it wouldn’t have prevented my migraine, it would have at least dulled the symptoms, allowing me to have a fighting chance. Also had I been prepared, it would have been easier for me to prioritize my next steps instead of succumbing to a cascade of emotional decisions.

Key Takeaway: If you are aware of chaos in your life that can rear its ugly head from time to time, do whatever you can to be as prepared as possible. This coincides with prioritizing in the early stages of unforeseen circumstances so you can set yourself up for as much success as possible.

2. Be humble

Doing it all over again, I would have asked my professor for an opportunity to take the test on a different day. He was a nice, reasonable guy, but even if he had said no it would have been worth a try. Instead I tried to tough it out. I was proud during a time when I needed to show humility.

Key Takeaway: Turn a blind eye to pride and approach the situation with humility. Give others the chance to empathize with your situation. Good people want to help when you’re in a tough spot, but you must allow them to lend a helping hand.

3. Be patient

Instead of hustling through the exam to just get it over with, I would have toughed it out and used all of the allotted time. Migraines ebb and flow, so I could have taken the milder moments to my advantage and have a chance at earning a passing grade.

Key Takeaway: Patience in moments of chaos allow you to make clearer, more effective decisions. Patience doesn’t necessarily mean to be slow, but instead to give the best option at hand a chance to play out.

I’ve come to learn that through various trials and tribulations, this 3-part approach has reduced my knee-jerk reactions to unforeseen, plan-altering situations. By removing emotion from the equation, I’m better equipped to work through the challenge and find best case scenario solutions in the moment. Best-case scenarios aren’t always ideal, but they’re a heck of a lot better than many of the alternatives.

Though my migraine issues are here to stay, I find peace knowing that I have a plan to combat the literal and figurative migraines of life. I also have gained a further sense of peace accepting the fact that life isn’t going to be ideal as often as one would like.

Though we will all endure little and large pains throughout our lives, accepting their existence removes some of the stings that they bring. Through preparedness and prioritization, with patience and humility, we can encourage others to find a similar sense of peace when the going gets tough for them.

And to be able to share this perspective with others may just be the most powerful pain reliever of all.

If you would like to learn more about anxiety and associated issues, I’d suggest reading this awesome piece by Scot Butwell.

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