How Men Reject You Without Explicitly Saying so

If you have asked him out several times and he is still evasive then it's time to let him go.

You aren’t really supposed to try so hard.

Putting things in context:

So I have this sweet amazing friend and she is super into a guy she met during a night out, who doesn't seem to correspond to her feelings.

For me, the whole situation is evident, for her is all confusing, this is why:

They met over two months ago, back in September, and throughout that time they have met probably four times.

Every month since October she keeps telling me she is done with this weird dating limbo situation. — This is probably a very relatable sentiment, I know it is for me, I must admit.

And he is still sort of/kind of present in her life.

I am using these terms sort of/kind of because it's all so vague, it’s all pretty ambiguous.

In the past I used to waste so much energy trying to understand what seems evident now:

Remember mixed signals means they don’t like you like that.

So he reacts to her stories with emojis or with flirty messages every now and then, and she takes those texts as “signs” that things might progress in the future, as a result, she is still not moving on.

She wonders and asks me why he is still watching my stories, why is he replying to my stories if he is not interested in me.

Finally, last week when they were texting she asked him when they could meet again, and next, she sent him all her program availability for that week.

She literally told him:

— I am free these days at these times during the week, tell me what day works for you.

He left her on read, he didn’t reply.

The worst part is that this isn't the first time he acts like this. On other occasions he has canceled or answered the week after that arranged date, saying I am sorry I was busy…

I told her, in my opinion, he is probably looking for something “short-term”.

He doesn't act like someone who wants commitment, who wants something long-term.

I said: don’t be afraid of letting him go, you are not missing out on anything with him.

You are missing out though on finding the right guy because you keep investing your time and energy into this.

The takeaway

When we like an individual so damn much is really hard to cut the cord, it's really hard to let them go, I am very aware of that.

But you need to keep this in mind:

Someone contacting you every once in while can not possibly be genuinely, legitimately interested in you.

Someone reacting to or watching your stories doesn't really mean much.

If he wanted to be with you, then he would be with you. If he wanted to see you, then he would arrange to see you.

Folks make time for things or people they value. They ask you out, they plan the dates.

They don’t leave you on “read”, they don’t leave you hanging, wondering.

You are way too good for someone who is wishy-washy, so let them go.

Go where you are celebrated. Never sell yourself short.