How Masturbation Is Affecting My Relationship
I took matters into my own hands.
I’m a firm believer in the practice of self-release — or as it’s more commonly referred to — masturbation.
I’ve written about this subject in the past, detailing how I think it’s important for people — especially women — to discuss this subject more freely and without shame with the hope of normalizing the idea of masturbation as a healthy and vital part of human sexual identity as well as a tool that can be used for wellness.
Besides the health benefits of masturbation on a personal level, I discovered that it’s also extremely beneficial to bring masturbation into a sexual relationship with a partner. This means showing your partner what you do to pleasure yourself and allowing them to watch you do it.
And for many people out there, this is not an easy task.
The concept I’m describing can be thought of as embarrassing by some people or even taboo by others. For lots of people masturbating (if they do it) is an extremely private thing.
It was for me too.
Until I decided to introduce it into my sex life with my partner.
It wasn’t planned. It happened quite spontaneously one night. We were lagging a bit during the act, both of us were tired and frustrated. So I decided to take matters into my own hands — quite literally.
At first, I thought my partner would be offended by me taking over like this — but it turned out to be a major turn-on for him.
I showed him what I needed at that moment. And what a relief it turned out to be for him! I was able to take care of myself while we were having sex and that took a lot of pressure off of my partner.
I never really thought about masturbating during sex. I mean, yes, I touch myself during sex all the time, and my partner loves watching me do it but finishing myself off on my own with my partner there in the room was a new step further.
That added element of self-release accentuated the whole sexual experience for both of us.
It did feel a bit odd at first having my partner watch me pleasure myself given that I’m used to doing it on my own, but the thrill of realizing that this could be something we could try again was exciting.
Masturbation is vital to me. Whether I’m stressed, can’t fall asleep, or my hormones are going bonkers, I rely on that self-motivated physical release to get me through.
Masturbation causes dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure, to be released into your body. Dopamine makes you feel good and boosts your mood.
Additionally, the hormone oxytocin, which is released during orgasm, lowers cortisol levels. Cortisol is the main stress hormone and is usually present at high levels in stressed-out people.
Incorporating masturbation into my sex life not only caused extra arousal but also took some much-needed pressure away from both me and my partner.
I think we’ll be doing that again.
