How Long Does Love Last? 6 Tricky Phases of Long-Lasting Relationships

When your relationship goes through these stages, you‘re in for the long haul.

I’m not going to pretend that love isn’t fantastic. But it does suck when you meet a person your heart connects with and all of a sudden you fall out for some petty reason.

Because of the heartache love comes with, most people are afraid to put themselves out there and take the risk of loving someone. But, what if you could recognize when your love has a survival chance? I bet that will save us a whole lot of trauma.

When you decide to join your life with another person, it’s about embarking on a journey together, for years to come. During your journey, you will encounter different stages, both good and bad.

While it’s true that every relationship cycles through different phases, what they entail and how long they last will differ from couple to couple.

However, if you’re unsure whether you and your S.O. will stand the test of time, you’re in luck because I’ve rounded up the six transitions experts say couples must go through to have a long-lasting relationship.

Anxiety Phase

Some people are lucky to have instant attraction when they meet their soulmate. While others go through the contemplation/anxiety stage. You meet someone you like and you are wondering whether they like you too.

The first date is awkward too. Both of you are nervous, overthinking and worried this might be another waste of time and resources.

However, for some, after the second and third dates, that awkwardness begins to fade and you feel more comfortable around each other.

Electrifying Phase

As you move into this stage, your attraction starts to build up. You feel an intense love thrust in the presence of your partner. Your love is passionate, and you find it hard to stay away physically.

The electrifying stage is often characterized by lust, infatuation, and passion. The couples feel strangely compatible because the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which deals with the negative judgment of others is ignored.

This stage of love makes dating so exciting and addictive. However as your love hormones are heightened, your power of sound reasoning declines. At this stage, most people make rational decisions they end up regretting when the feelings of infatuation fade.

Bonding Phase

During the bonding stage, the hormones creating excitement begin to fade, and reality sets in. Trust and intimacy get stronger as couples start to reveal their true selves.

The attractive habits you see in each other can become irritating at this stage. You notice their flaws and weaknesses. Issues such as overspending, stinginess, being neat and orderly or being disorganized, and not spending quality time together start to unravel.

However, at the bonding stage, your love is still rich to withstand external forces. You are able to think of other things and focus on your life other than your partner’s. The more you get to know your partner, the strong your bond grows.

Detachment phase

This stage in a relationship is characterized by resentment and insecurities. You will notice your feeling rise and fall as the bond gets stronger. Your partner may start to pull away.

Your man may detach emotionally and pull back into his masculinity. Power rivalry becomes a dominant issue. Couples feel compelled to fight for their values and beliefs, and both try to get everything done their own way.

The man will push and pull his feelings leaving the woman confused. Most times women worry about where the relationship is headed. But each time he pulls away from her, his love grows as he misses her. Eventually, his need to keep a distance reduces and he feels a more intense emotional bond with her.

Estranged Phase

This is where most relationships reach rock bottom. The couple feels like they have fallen out of love with each other. Some are wary and paranoid, ready to attack each other with the slightest provocation.

Others may drift away slowly and quietly over time. At that time, the first feeling of passionate love became a forgotten memory.

You know you’ve reached this stage when you think about leaving forever and even planning a divorce. You may even start to feel attracted to other people. At this point, you make a decision whether to leave, stay and try to mend the relationship, or do nothing.

Unflinching Love Phase

Most couples in this final stage have spent forty to fifty years of their lives together. Some may have broken up, divorced, and gotten back together. This stage of a relationship is the safest and healthiest.

Boundaries are respected and couples find new ways to create beautiful memories every day. Everyone is accepting of each other’s flaws and strengths. You both have a good understanding of your partner’s values, lifestyle, and future goals.

You respect and maintain your individuality. This phase of unwavering love is often marked by two important skills for a stable committed relationship — the ability to apologize and to forgive.

When one partner apologizes, it is easier for the other partner to ask for forgiveness. When one partner is very forgiving, it’s easier for the other partner to apologize. Unless your relationship goes through these six stages of a healthy relationship, “happily ever after” is just an illusion.

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