How Impulsivity Impacts People with BPD
Utilizing the STOP skill.
The unpredictable tides of life can lead us down paths of negativity and impulsivity. This is especially true for people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The rollercoaster of emotions and intense experiences we face can often trigger impulsive behaviours that leave us reeling in their wake. Come along as I open up about my impulsivity struggles, shedding light on how it affects individuals with BPD and the challenges we encounter on this turbulent journey.
The Lure of Impulsive Decisions:
Impulsivity is like a siren’s call, drawing us into a whirlwind of actions without pausing to consider the consequences. The intensity of emotions we experience in moments of distress can make it difficult to think rationally, leading to actions that we may later regret.
For me, one of the darkest moments was when I impulsively attempted to take my own life via overdose. The weight of emotional pain overwhelmed me, and at that moment, impulsivity clouded my judgment, convincing me that it was the only escape from my agony. Fortunately, I survived that ordeal, but it served as a stark reminder of how impulsivity can lead us to the edge of the precipice.
The Financial Temptations:
Impulsivity doesn’t always manifest in life-or-death situations; it can also take shape in more mundane scenarios, like impulsive spending. In my experience, I impulsively spent £1000 on a holiday without thinking about the long-term financial consequences. The excitement of the moment blinded me to the reality of my financial situation, leaving me with a burden that added to my emotional turmoil.
The Struggle with Emotional Regulation:
Once the dust settles, impulsive actions often leave us grappling with guilt and self-blame. We wonder how we could have been so reckless, causing further distress and perpetuating the cycle of emotional turbulence. The intensity of emotions experienced by individuals with BPD can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it allows us to experience life’s highs with unparalleled intensity, but on the other hand, it can amplify the impact of negative emotions. In moments of distress, impulsivity can take over as a coping mechanism, offering a temporary release from the emotional storm.
Building a Toolkit for Coping:
Over time, I’ve learned that managing impulsivity is a gradual process that requires patience and self-compassion. Developing coping mechanisms and skills to regulate emotions is crucial for navigating the waves of impulsivity:
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT has been a valuable resource in my journey. It equips us with skills like mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance, helping us navigate impulsive moments with greater awareness and self-control.
• Seeking Support: Connecting with a supportive network of friends, family, or mental health professionals can offer a lifeline during moments of distress. Having someone to talk to can help us gain perspective and prevent impulsive actions.
• Pause and Reflect: When faced with impulsive urges, taking a moment to pause and reflect on the potential consequences can help break the impulsive cycle. Utilizing grounding techniques can provide a sense of stability amidst emotional turbulence.
- One useful DBT skill for managing impulsivity is “STOP.” The STOP skill is designed to help individuals pause and gain control over impulsive behaviours or emotional reactions in challenging situations.
How to Use the STOP Skill
- Stop: When you find yourself in a situation where impulsivity is taking over, the first step is to stop whatever action or thought process you are engaging in. Take a deep breath and mentally hit the pause button.
- Take a Step Back: After stopping, take a step back mentally and emotionally. Try to create some space between yourself and the situation, allowing yourself a moment of detachment.
- Observe: Observe what is happening within you and around you. Notice your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without judgment. Take note of any urges or impulses you are experiencing without acting on them.
- Proceed Mindfully: After observing, proceed mindfully with intention and awareness. Make a conscious choice about how to respond to the situation, considering the consequences of different actions. Use the information gathered during the observation phase to guide your decision-making.
- Example of Using the STOP Skill: Let’s say you are in a heated argument with a friend, and you feel the urge to impulsively lash out and say hurtful things. Instead of reacting impulsively, you can use the STOP skill:
- Stop: Pause and take a deep breath as you feel the urge to respond impulsively rising within you.
- Take a Step Back: Mentally detach yourself from the intensity of the argument by reminding yourself that reacting impulsively may worsen the situation.
- Observe: Notice the anger and frustration you are experiencing. Observe how your body feels tense, your heart rate increases and your thoughts become negative.
- Proceed Mindfully: After observing your emotions and physical sensations, you may choose to take a brief break from the conversation, giving yourself time to cool down and regain composure. You can then approach the situation with a calmer mindset, expressing your feelings and needs more constructively.
The STOP skill allows you to break the impulsive cycle by introducing a moment of mindfulness and reflection before acting on your impulses. It empowers you to make more thoughtful decisions and respond to challenging situations in a way that aligns with your values and long-term goals. Practising the STOP skill regularly can help you develop greater emotional regulation and reduce the impact of impulsivity on your life.
Living with BPD brings its own set of unique challenges, especially when it comes to impulsivity. Understanding the impact of impulsivity on our lives and learning to navigate its currents is a transformative journey. Developing coping mechanisms, seeking support, and practising self-compassion, help us to chart a course towards calmer waters, where the impulsive tides of BPD are met with stability and solidity.
Thank you for taking the time and listening to my story. Medium has been a fantastic place for me to open up, receive support, and most importantly to aid my recovery. I feel like I am reclaiming my life and that is thanks to all of you!!