How Do You Make Friends?
Seeking advice.

I can’t lie to you all, I don’t have one single friend who isn’t either linked to my partner Layla or her family. For a very long time I have struggled with feeling like a spare part. Today I’m seeking advice from the reader on how to make friends. It feels like I’ve tried and tried to get people to like me, but nothing seems to work.

My life feels like I am nothing but a +1 to everybody in my life. I am still searching for a special friend to share my hobbies and interests but nobody seems to care about me. I try not to dwell on this for too long, but it becomes so hard when the only two people who have messaged me first in the past three weeks are my social worker and my doctor.
I use writing as a distraction for my loneliness, but it doesn’t ever seem to work. It’s a brilliant short-term release but I long for a real friend. I have been trying to distract myself by doing household chores and talking to Layla but everything feels autonomous and I feel like I am suffocating.

Everyone is either so far away or they don’t have any urge to try and contact me. I am always the first person to make contact. I miss my auntie and my nan, when I lived in Bristol they were the only two people I trusted fully.
I haven’t been able to hold on to a friend since I was 14 years old. I am now 20. I feel like an outsider in every situation. The scars of loneliness have left me feeling suicidal at the worst of times, but I try to carry on. The prospect of being a father and my child being my future best friend makes me feel happy for a short period.

I continue to suffer with trust issues with men and unfortunately we live in a society where not all men are dangerous but all women need to be wary. I am a man who is scared of men so it makes it extra difficult to find friends. I also have a horrible habit where if my efforts to be friends with someone isn’t reciprocated, I will take it out on myself without any care to my body and mind.
And so I am reaching out to the Medium community for support. Building a strong support system to aid my recovery feels like a mammoth task, and any support would be so greatly appreciated. One day, someone will be my friend, and I cannot wait for that day.
