How I Discovered the Benefits of Unschooling

And what we can learn from dropping academic expectations

Our recent extended break from school gave my family an unexpected opportunity.

I didn’t know it, but I was about to become an unschooling parent. The concept of unschooling is simple. Allow children to learn at their own pace by their rules. Incite curiosity by providing space for self-directed learning with virtually no structure.

How we see and experience public education is about to change. As a former instructional assistant in special education (for teens at-risk) and a single parent of elementary school children, I welcome the changes. We are overdue for an overhaul in the way we approach learning.

I’m a single parent and content writer working from home. My children are 4 and 8. We aren’t participating in school. I gave them a choice to do school-related activities from home when their school provided packets. When they both declined, I let it go.

Since our mandated shelter in place, they’ve had free play for most of the day. In between, we go grocery shopping on Sundays and do laundry on Mondays. We prepare for the day with personal hygiene and sharing meals at the table. We go on daily hikes in our local foothills.

They play while I practice self-care and write for an hour or two. They watch a movie in the evening while I write, publish, and promote my stories. Sometimes the shows are intentionally educational, sometimes not. Frankly, it doesn’t matter. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic. There’s no reason to push academics.

Our school district is providing optional distance learning materials. My kids will have online modules available tomorrow.

Other than visiting their teachers, they have no interest in learning online. I thought my oldest, who was finishing 2nd grade, would appreciate anything related to school. But she only misses the social aspect. She’s gifted in English. If she doesn’t answer when I call, I can find her deep in a book. She reads to her sister and writes stories for us.

Surprisingly, I work efficiently when my kids are home.

When schools abruptly closed due to Covid-19, I suddenly realized I had the freedom to choose how my kids learn. I had this choice all along but convinced myself I needed time by myself to work. I guess you could say I fell into unschooling.

I recognize I have the privilege to play with my time. I stopped working in special ed when I had my first child. I haven’t worked at a day job since. Their dad provides ample child support, making it possible to work from home. My job lends itself to flexible work hours from anywhere.

But what about those of you who typically work outside the home?

Most working parents have to bring their children to school or daycare away from their job site.

Parents have come to rely on school sites to provide free supervision while they provide for their families. Of course, we assume the school intends to provide a learning environment. But families living in poverty need it for more than books and math problems. The US education system is fundamentally flawed. It’s already glorified babysitting at the PreK level. It’s a reality we need to face.

Many of you need to find alternatives to work right now. It’s ok if your kids occupy themselves while you focus on your commitments. Unschooling makes the most sense during these uncertain times. I’ve heard of a lot of families suffering under the pressure of work-school-life balance when quarantined.

Now is the time to re-evaluate. What kind of work can you do remotely? I’m sure you have hidden skills and innate talents to share. If you work outside the home, you have to make huge adjustments. If you’re a parent and an essential worker, I respect the dilemma you’re facing. I don’t have clear answers, only my unending support and appreciation.

For those of you in the disabled community, we need to talk about how the collective can support you better.

Our nation has neglected your needs for far too long. I can’t imagine how it feels to be a disabled parent with kids at home all day. I enjoy hanging out with my children. I’m also able-bodied. I don’t have to manage chronic pain or debilitating mental illness. I understand they need something to do while you take care of yourself.

When you have the support you need, you’ll be able to allow space for homeschooling or unschooling. We’re a village. We need to step back into it so we can all navigate the coming changes. I’m thinking child care swaps and ride shares to appointments. We need to address everything as if the school setting is disappearing for good. Parents of disabled kids have to get extra support as well.

I believe we can eliminate a structured school environment and still take care of each other. Let’s see what else we need to explore.

Ask yourself if you can work from home and unschool.

If you’re a family or two or more, or you’re already working from home like me, you can indefinitely explore unschooling. If you’re in an unfulfilling career, it’s time to step into your purpose. Here’s your chance to expand your choices and consider doing something you love.

I know it’s scary. You need money to survive. But everything’s about to shift. You have to think outside of the box you’ve been living in.

What if schools close down forever? What if you’re a teacher? You can teach anything online all over the world. You can work for more money in half the time. The rest of your day can be with your kids. You’ve missed out on valuable bonding time when they’re in school. And you’ve been busy working. It’s a stressful way to live.

Your kids will not fall behind. Education standards are subpar anyway. Our children are smart and resourceful. I think it’s time we give them credit and acknowledge their talents and skills.

Let’s consider disabled and neurodivergent children as a part of this group. Everyone brings unique gifts to the world. Our communities need to enable freedom for everyone to learn using their natural inclinations. It can mean different things for different people.

For children needing extra care, it’s our responsibility to provide for them outside the classroom. Disabled students often experience discrimination and abuse in school. I won’t forget the outstanding teachers and staff who treat special ed students with dignity and love. But it’s not ideal for every child. And it’s the parents who bear the burden.

Parents, you’re rock stars. You can provide the best learning tools without having to try. Think washing dishes and vacuuming floors. Think of conflict resolution between siblings. Have a dance party in your living room. Let them help cook dinner. You teach them how to treat others when you show them love and respect. There are endless opportunities.

Learning happens at every moment, everywhere.

My daughter wondered if she heard a rattlesnake the other day on our hike. It prompted us to ask what snakes live in the deserts of New Mexico. A few days later, we found a live baby bird on the pavement. It was a few days after we discovered a few babies who fell to their death.

My oldest daughter had stepped over the bird. A few minutes later, we found a dove’s nest. I set the tiny bird in the nest, hoping the mama dove would accept them. We, fortunately, haven’t seen the bird on the ground. Nature provided a wonderful lesson.

I’ve had to think way outside of my limiting box lately, as I haven’t given my kids enough time to participate in household chores and everyday activities. It’s how I’ll teach them best. We’ll be planting seeds for our new garden soon. I’ll show them a book or video about how seeds grow into plants, etc. Learning happens everywhere.

Final thoughts

We don’t have to do anything to offer our kids an education. I’m taking strides to allow natural ways to learn, which is more than enough.

It’s a common misconception that kids don’t learn unless directed by an adult. It’s ageist to assume adults know better than they do about their learning. Children gravitate toward what interests them. They’re naturally curious. So are we, if we allow ourselves to catapult back to the days when we weren’t being told what to learn.

Give your kids a much-needed break from the “grind”. They need to learn without worksheets. There are so many ways kids can educate themselves. We facilitate and they’re eager to know everything.

There are some brilliant, amazing teachers in our school systems. They want to allow their students to be self-directed. But the system isn’t set up that way. It’ll have to change for our kids to thrive.

Unschooling might not be for everyone. But when you can, I encourage you to try it. Quarantine could be the time you’ll discover a new vision for your family’s future.

Let’s spend these days at home observing our kids. Let’s see what happens when we leave them to their own devices more often. Let’s unleash their curiosity and their drive to learn. I promise, they’ll soar.

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