It’s Legal to Take My Shirt Off in Public Now

Here’s why I won’t try it yet

I write for those women who do not speak, for those who do not have a voice because they were so terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves. We’ve been taught that silence would save us, but it won’t.~Audre Lorde

My fellow women, it’s finally legal to show some skin.

I read an article that offered hope and inspiration. I was thrilled to hear I lived in one of the states that legalized women and femmes showing their breasts in public. Those impacted include: self-identified women, non-binary folks, genderqueer and genderfluid folks, and trans-women.

The law forbidding public breast exposure was deemed unconstitutional in Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, New Mexico, Kansas, and Oklahoma.

After my excitement wore off, I asked myself if I’d be brave enough to actually take off my shirt in public. As a single mama of two girl-presenting humans, I hope they’ll be free to expose their breasts without judgment.

All it takes is one person to normalize baring our breasts.

Whoever starts going topless brings needed social change. I know there’s at least one person out there exposing their nipples so we can liberate ours. I want to be one of those paradigm shifters. But I won’t do it yet. I consider the men who might ogle and make snide comments. Worse yet, they could make it into an excuse to assault me.

I posted the above article on Facebook. I took note of what identifiable men “liked” my post and questioned some of their motives. Did they see it as an excuse to watch half-naked women traipsing around their towns? It was disheartening that my mind went there.

I wish I could say I trust everyone, regardless of gender identity and social conditioning. Sadly, I don’t. I’ve had to defend my bodily autonomy for most of my life. A law change won’t dramatically alter everyone’s attitude right away.

Eliminating archaic laws is a great beginning. But the real problem resides in our current social climate. I don’t have the courage to face inevitable judgment, ridicule, and harassment.

We don’t need to cover our breasts.

There’s no logical reason for why we need to cover up. Puritanical belief systems kept the rule in place for centuries. We have so much more freedom now, but there’s more work ahead.

I understand some folks who practice certain religions don’t believe in revealing themselves. The choice is theirs. There’s still a national dress code for women because rape culture still exists. I’m thankful we’re questioning it, but the undercurrent of women’s inferiority and “sinful nature” continues.

People still consider it our responsibility to control our impulses and tone it down if we don’t want men to seduce us. Encouraging women’s modesty leads to blaming us for men’s unacceptable behavior.

Women and femmes aren’t immune to the indoctrination. We could consider bearing our chests as solely an expression of sexuality. I’ve used my breasts as an object of desire many times. I might just feel like cooling off in the hot sun, though. Does it really matter why I take off my top? No one questions why a man or male presenting person goes shirtless. I don’t need to explain why.

When my oldest daughter was about 4, she saw a guy riding a bike and asked why he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I told her maybe he felt warm. Then I explained to her there was a rule that women and girls couldn’t do that. I said it didn’t make any sense, and I hoped she would be able to take off her shirt in public someday. She told me she would break the rules when she grew up. I encourage her to step up when she’s ready.

The appearance of naked flesh doesn’t equate to seduction.

I breastfed my children in public for years with not as much as a wink. I’ve worn bikinis and low-cut tops that showed everything but my nipples. Other than welcome and not-so-welcome flirtations, it’s an accepted style of dress.

Wearing revealing clothing isn’t always suggestive. It’s my right to wear whatever I want. It’s none of anyone else’s business, and I have a right to feel safe. Bodily autonomy extends to clothing choices.

Nursing my kids obviously has nothing to do with sex. I know there are folks who get their undies in a twist over public breastfeeding. The internalized shame is rampant, many times among women.

I don’t sexualize my breasts within that context, but others do. I find it baffling that we can judge someone for feeding their child as nature intended. I don’t even think about my breasts until I nurse my daughter at bedtime. They’re a beautiful gift with which to nurture my babies.

Breasts are a scandal because they shatter the border between motherhood and sexuality.~Iris Marion Young

Then there was my younger self, flaunting my boobs with the purpose of being noticed. My intention was to attract someone. In this context, I purposely sexualized my breasts for attention. There’s nothing wrong with it, either. I get to choose how I present my body to others.

But I don’t move through my day constantly thinking about having sex with the next person I meet. And just because I show off my breasts, doesn’t mean it’s ever ok to ogle me. I find some shirtless men sexy, but I won’t stare just because I think they’re attractive. That’s absurd. It’s objectification I receive all too often. They’re human beings under that sexy body. Physical appearance is only one aspect of a person. I respect their right to dress how they please. We deserve the same rights.

So why do we have to defend ourselves when we go topless outside our homes?

We’re making strides with changes in the laws. We need to support the rights of women and femmes. We need internal changes to our social constructs and expectations if we expect to expand our freedom.

Educators, incorporate equality women’s rights into lesson plans. Parents, show by example at home. Men, be open to learning new behaviors and call out your fellows on theirs. Fellow breast barers, we will safely liberate our nipples all over town someday. We’ve got this.

Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.~Maya Angelou

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