How a Simple Shift in Thinking Can Transform Your Life
Start by identifying limiting beliefs
Our limiting decisions are lurking wherever we produce results that we don’t want. Limiting decisions mold most aspects of our life and influence almost everything that we do. They can prevent us from seeing opportunities, or discourage us from trying at all.
It’s time to bring them out of hiding. Once we do that, we have a choice.
What are limiting beliefs and where do they come from?
Limiting beliefs are deep-rooted negative viewpoints of which we may or may not be aware. The more energy that we give to these negative thoughts, the more that they sustain a painful cycle of negativity. This can often result in bringing about the very situations that we were consciously trying to avoid.
One of the main attributes of limiting beliefs is that they are also growth prohibitive. It’s difficult to advance when you are immobilized or stuck in the past.
I once had a plant that was glued to its container as a type of decoration. While it looked pretty, because the plant was stuck where it was, it was unable to be planted where it could grow and flourish with the rest of the garden.
Limiting beliefs act in the same way, by keeping us attached or rooted in something that will ultimately end in negativity, such as ignoring your inner guidance or allowing toxic relationships to permeate your life.
A fundamental part of limiting belief systems is the presence of a critical or negative inner voice.
Pay attention to your internal dialogue and it will become clear which thoughts and beliefs are helpful versus harmful. And if you find upon closer inspection that the phrases are mostly negative, such as I never do enough or I’m always failing, it’s time for a shift in thinking.
This not only applies to negative internal beliefs, but also the beliefs that we hold about the world around us, such as other people always hurt me or women can never get ahead in the workplace.
A critical inner-dialogue tends to see the world in absolutes, in black and white, good or bad.
Most experiences are a mix of good and bad, and everything in between.
How do we identify limiting beliefs?
Think of an area in your life that you want to improve. Notice what you are saying to yourself about the situation. In particular, pay attention to words like “always” and “never,” or similar sentiments.
Essentially, any generality that you say to yourself in order to justify a singular negative outcome is a limiting belief.
I’ve certainly experienced this in my life.
For decades, I’ve wanted to pursue a Ph.D. in Psychology. But although this has been a goal of mine for some time, I kept finding excuses for why it wouldn’t be practical.
I continually bought into the limiting beliefs forced on me by culture and society. I bought into them so much that they started to become my limiting beliefs. And just as they are called, these limiting beliefs started to limit me.
In my 20s, I was too busy, constantly working, paying off student loans, and living someone else’s dream. I believed that my own dreams didn’t matter.
Throughout my 30s, I continued talking myself out of it. I had my child’s education to pay for, along with more of mine, and would it really be practical for a writer and sanctuary owner to have a P.h.D in psychology? If I’m not a college professor, does that even make sense?
But the real reason that I kept putting off my dream all boiled down to one thing: deep down, I feared that I wouldn’t be intelligent enough.
Clearly, I needed to revisit the work of Carol Dweck and her groundbreaking research on mindsets and their limiting effects on our successes and beliefs. That way my goal would be properly oriented with a passion for learning rather than a hunger for approval.
And maybe my dream will change, or maybe I’ll go back to school in this decade, or maybe the next, or maybe not at all.
But one thing I know for sure is that our thoughts have power and are intricately involved in the creation of our experience of reality.
Likewise, it is our thoughts that can determine whether we perceive something as positive or negative.
We usually get back exactly what we send out into the world, so shifting our thoughts is imperative for increased happiness and empowerment.
Try these four empowering actions to replace limiting beliefs:
1. Start by becoming aware.
Develop and harness an increased sense of self-awareness. Be aware of what you think and why.
Take a few moments to tune into how you are feeling throughout the day, and let this be a barometer of your internal temperature.
Pay attention to specific feelings, and recognize when negative feelings start to arise.
This type of self-awareness is beneficial because, by paying attention to our thoughts, it accelerates the process of identifying limiting beliefs at the source through a deep exploration of the true self.
2. Allow your feelings to exist.
Embrace what you are feeling and know that it has a purpose.
Don’t resist or fight your negative feelings as they are a crucial internal compass to let you know what is and isn’t working in your life.
I have found that when I allow myself to feel whatever I’ve been resisting, it’s not uncommon to find that these feelings start to shift, making room for new, positive belief systems.
3. Try out an empowering belief.
Use your imagination to try out a belief that is aligned with your goals.
This could sound something like, “I’ve had difficulties in the past, but I’ve learned a lot, and I am prepared to keep moving forward on my own terms.” Or, “Now that I’ve worked in a job that I didn't like, I know what to look for in a healthy workplace culture.”
What makes this idea so effective is that you must really immerse yourself in the new belief.
Keep imagining and discovering and creating beliefs that support rather than sabotage.
4. Choose a different action.
This can feel uncomfortable at first, but try acting as if your new, positive belief is one that you’ve always had.
For example, if you thought of yourself as a more confident person, how would you act at work, while socializing, or at home?
Would you take more risks? Start working on that passion project? Expand your social circle? Take on that complicated house project?
It’s important to note that, if you avoid taking any actions based on your new beliefs, more than likely you will fall back into old limiting patterns.
This is why taking action, no matter how small, will help cement your new beliefs. It doesn’t have to be perfect every time, as long as you try and give yourself credit for taking the first steps to a healthier belief system.
Make it stick with these three effective mantras:
1. I love my work.
Imagine this: you wake up energized and excited for the day’s work. You think of innovative ways to accomplish tasks and love what you do. You can’t wait for the future.
Jobs will come and go, motivation will rise and fall, but if you don’t love what you do, even just a little, you'll never accomplish or achieve what you are capable of.
2. My success is not all about me; I live to help others.
Whether you’re self-employed, work for a corporation, or are part of a small team, it’s easy to get caught up in the success trap.
Use this effective and simple mantra to remember that you deserve success, others deserve success, and we are all here to help each other.
The success that you create for other people will come back to you thanks to serendipity, compounding, and reciprocity.
3. Money is only a resource.
While money does have importance, it’s certainly not the most important thing in life. In fact, in a healthy life, money often follows behind many other elements.
More often than not, if you put your energy and time into things more important than money, the money will follow. It will find a way to work.
Once you come to terms with this truth, ask yourself the following question: “If I had endless money in the bank, what would I spend it on?”
This mantra can help you realize what's really important in your life and even think of other solutions to problems besides money.
The more that you explore and put effort into your inner thoughts, the less impact limiting beliefs will have on your success and well-being.
You may even find yourself no longer looking for a better way of living, but instead accepting your life and making it the best that you can.
With great love and gratitude, Aurora
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