5 Things You Never Have to Wear Again

1. You no longer have to wear your pain.

Many of us have spent a lot of energy, time, and money on what we wear and how we look. But what if we apply that same reasoning to what we wear mentally?

Like an old pair of jeans that only fit for one day back in high school, we can throw out these negative patterns. It may not be easy, because doing so requires us to confront our inner doubts. What if we need them? What if one day they fit perfectly?

But the truth is, even if they did fit in the past, they are never going to fit perfectly anymore, and perhaps never did. Instead, we embrace what makes us feel good about ourselves instead of inadequate.

Here’s what to release if we want more joy and peace in our lives.

1. You no longer have to wear your pain.

Have you ever used shopping to alleviate or ignore psychological pain?

While retail therapy may be a temporary fix, albeit an expensive one, it usually only delivers a temporary respite from frustration, stress, boredom, or heartache. You can’t buy nor shop your way out of pain.

I’ve tried, and it usually just leads to more debt, more stress, and then more retail therapy.

So rather than wearing pain, exchange shopping for self-love and self-care.

When you feel frustrated or anxious, your heart isn’t saying, “let’s buy more things;” it’s saying, “please listen to me, and give me what I need to heal.”

Turn your wounds into wisdom. — Oprah Winfrey

2. You no longer have to wear the shame and guilt of your past.

Shame and guilt don’t move us forward.

They hold us back, constantly reminding us of our failures while preventing us from gaining a more luminous, vibrant future because we think that we don’t deserve it.

Regardless of whether it’s shame and guilt about something in your past, or something that you spend too much money on (and never use), or even guilt about a past relationship, you don’t need to pay anymore. It’s already been paid in full with time, attention, money and emotional investment.

Let it go, apologize, forgive, and move forward with less shame and guilt.

Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change. — Brene Brown

3. You no longer have to wear your failures.

Failure is a function of trying. It has a negative connotation, but really, failure is the blacksmith’s tool that tempers the sword of success.

If you want to get really good at something, you have to fail at least a few times. Use failure as a foothold on the path to success, because it is through our failures that we learn, grow, and come back better than before.

Failure is simply another word for opportunity; you can’t fail if there is no opportunity for further growth.

Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently. — Henry Ford

4. You no longer have to wear the expectations of others.

When I was working in a corporate environment, I bought clothes to fit in with my colleagues and with the culture. I wasn’t dressing to please myself, but rather to be perceived in a specific way and meet the ever-rising expectations that surrounded my profession at the time.

I wasn’t doing things for me. I was doing them for others, and there was always more to do, more to prove, and more to achieve. And as a result, I eventually lost sight of who I was, what I wanted to be, and what I stood for.

This is because expectations are not an accurate gauge of what is right for you. If we have to continually meet the expectations of those around us, be it friends, family, or coworkers, these relationships may be unhealthy and should be limited in the best of situations.

Don’t let the expectations of others get in the way of being true to who you are.

Do this by :

Saying what you want. Voicing your needs and setting clear boundaries. Putting the expectations of others in perspective.

Remember that someone else’s expectation of you is theirs, not yours, and therefore it is their problem, not yours.

Cultivate your inner voice.

Take some time alone and sincerely ask yourself what you want. If no one else was telling you what you should want, what would you want for yourself?

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.―Friedrich Nietzsche

5. You no longer have to wear the goals that you’ve moved past.

Letting go is all about embracing our present reality.

Whether it’s a dream, goals, or a relationship, it can be painful to realize that as our lives change, we often change along with it. Goals that were once the driving force in our lives slowly disappear so that new ones can take their place.

Rather than lamenting the goals that you didn't achieve, put the focus on your new goals and dreams, and know that these will likely change, as well.

Shed the heavy burden of carrying goals that are no longer yours. This will make a world of difference when you start seeking what you actually want now, and the result will be remarkable.

Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.―Thich Nhat Hanh