avatarAgnes Laurens

Summary

The author reflects on their negative high school experience, including being bullied, and how it has shaped their perspective on bullying and education.

Abstract

The author shares their personal experience of being bullied throughout high school in The Netherlands. They discuss the decision-making process for choosing a high school and the impact of teachers and peers on a student's experience. The author also reflects on the long-term effects of bullying and offers advice for dealing with regret and moving forward.

Opinions

  • The author believes that the choice of high school is important and can have a significant impact on a student's experience.
  • The author emphasizes the role of teachers in co-raising students and the importance of aligning school values with those of the student's family.
  • The author expresses regret for not having a positive high school experience and offers advice for dealing with regret and moving forward.
  • The author suggests that bullies should apologize to their victims, even if they are no longer in contact with them.
  • The author encourages parents to teach their children about the negative effects of bullying.
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

High School Experience

Everybody experience their high school differently. As every school is different, as every person is different, as everyone has different friends, there are so many different experiences through each pair of eyes, in the same situations as well.

When parents are looking for a primary school for their children, they are not always looking for schools at what fits with their religion — if they have one, but also if the values of the school are good to be co-raised for their children by the teacher. The teachers must be nice, but also the teaching style — as well as the style parents, want their children to be raised — have to fit with each other.

In every state, city, country and village are high schools with a different background, and with different values and views on how to co-raise their students, as well as how they view the world. This count to what kind of school you’re going.

There are high schools with a religious background, but also high schools with no religious background. There are schools for everyone.

Choose our own school

I don’t know how it works in foreign countries, but in The Netherlands, we may choose to which high schools we’re going and what fits us best, and how we think that school works for us best as we have to be at this school for the rest of our high school career.

These eleven and twelve-year-old children need to decide what school they have for the rest of their high school career. In most of the cases, it goes very well, but in some cases, it is not really what you have expected from the first visits (as we do in The Netherlands — there are days we can visits school to get a visual insight of the school). In some cases, you change school, in some cases, you stay there and finish your school career there.

Not having a great school period

Then when you’re getting older, you realized that you haven’t had the greatest school period as all your classmates got.

In these days, not only parents are raising their children, but teachers are raising these children as well. Children are more away from home and are with other more often these days than decades ago.

I didn’t have the best high school experience. I have been bullied in high school. I was playing the violin and they didn’t like it. The Dutch word conservatory and crematory are quite similar in pronouncing. But they were saying all the time that I want to go dead in a crematory. At a sudden point, these bullies were telling me they will give me each 10 euro to have me a new outfit, so I don’t need to wear what I was wearing. At that time, I liked what I wore. This continued my whole school period.

The bullying continued from primary school through high school. I didn’t change school. I thought my classmates will talk to their friends at other high schools in the neighbourhood. And that bullying will continue there. So, I decided it was best to stay at that high school and don’t go anywhere else.

I believe you can’t get over your high school experience, but you can think about it in any form to (re-)shape yourself. When you were a bully, say sorry to that person (even if you don’t know where he or she is), or write your experience in your diary and write what you wish you had done. If you have children, you know what to teach them.

This story was earlier published on Quora.

Read my thoughts

Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.

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Bullying
High School
Life Lessons
Experience
Teenagers
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