Helping You Bullies From School?
This is a hard topic to write about: I have been bullied in primary and secondary school.
It was really very hard time at that moment. I didn’t know what to do. Nobody helped me through this. I had one best friend and she tried what she could. But really, I felt very alone. Children at primary school told me I had lice, but that wasn’t true. My mother saw that wasn’t true. I didn’t have any lice in my hair.
It was a hard time because children didn’t stop as I asked and the teachers didn’t do anything about it. Even worse, they played along with the children. Even the director of the school told my parents I was stupid. How can I be stupid if I’m playing the violin? Exactly, then you are not stupid. You are able to solve issues in a certain way. It’s good for your brain.
Every time I passed by they had a fake bottle in their hands (it was really nothing in their hands, but they did as if they had one) and sprayed it over their body and everybody did it too then. I was devasted because of how these lies could spread too fast.
Mostly, when I was in bed and going to sleep, I cried every anger out on me. I really didn’t know what to do. My parents didn’t do anything as well. They told me just to continue my life and don’t bother what they were telling me. But that is the whole point, that is not really easy when you have to go through this all day long.
I couldn’t concentrate all day long, but only think why people were doing this to me. What did I do wrong? Did I say something it hurt them? How was I different? What if I was different, did I want to change myself to someone I am not?
Break the ice and talk about it
You want to burry these bullying periods into the heart and never want to talk about it. So, no one can touch it, however. Because it hurts too much. I also realize that I have to talk about these kinds of issues. I know I can help other people with telling the signals I have been through and what people do to prevent it, or at least give awareness to it.
I think it is very important to break the ice somehow and talk about these topics as much as I can. It is part of life! Also, we still let people go away with this kind of behaviour. Behaviour that hurts others too much. The bullied person gets very insecure about their behaviour, about their well-being, about who they really are, about why they do exist on earth and many moire they doubt about.
Like me, I was insecure. I thought I didn’t belong on earth. That I was nothing, but just a human, that I didn’t might tell my feelings, what I thought, or just showing the real me. I even didn’t know who I was anymore. Now I am researching myself as a human being on earth.
It may be difficult to talk about these negative events from your life, but it is necessary to get the awareness of what bullying does to one another, it can take out the life you had envisioned. Like me, I was insecure about who I was, and still who I am.
I can tell you, it hurts a lot to think about it, not only thinking and talking about it but also to think about the consequences that might happen. The consequences of being punished again by my bullies when they found out I talked about them. At least that is what you think in the beginning. Ehm… I did.
Eventually, you will help others to prevent bullying when you tell your story to the world, or by knowing the signs, you’ll see it with someone else and you can tell it is not normal when someone is bullying you. But also let know the bullied person that it is fine to tell her story, to give awareness. It has shaped you in any form in your life. It did with me. And it will be in the future. But by telling my story to others, you will heal as well at the same time. Writing helps too with healing and dealing with these kinds of issues.
It was a hard time for me at that moment as I felt alone a lot these days, even when I played the violin. I felt nobody saw me from who I really am. The real me. The person who cares about other people, who can play the violin, who loves to write and many more she can achieve. Only, I didn’t believe in myself for all those years in my youth, but now I start little by little.
And, now I know, I’m much more. Because I have been bullied, it hurts too much to talk about. I have to and I will talk about it right now. It is something that’s really necessary to start a conversation about this taboo. I think there is still a no-go to talk about negative issues in life. Because, thanks to social media, everything must look perfect. And when people are a little bit more toxic these days
When I talk, or even think, about the period I have been bullied, I cry as it hurts thinking about the pain I got. I feel it all again. I know I have to go through it. Thinking about that time is really good. To give it space in my heart, to move forward in my life. This is what you get to go through the healing process.
Helping my bullies?
When talking about helping my bullies, I should say no in the first place. But thinking about it further, I will think about what they could have been through, are they in need, maybe other people bullying her too now, maybe my bully is the hospital and need money for the operation. In these cases, I will reconsider helping my bullies or not.
I would say no in the first place because it hurts and why on earth should I help my bullies? But then my helping-persona looks around and tell me to help everyone where and whenever you can, even your worse enemy.
This story has been published earlier on Quora.
Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.
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