Her: I read your poem online. What’re you gay now?
There’s a simple short answer. Yes, and always.
Her: I read your poem online. What’re you gay now?
Me: NOW?
Her: Don’t answer that. Oh my god, I’m sorry.
I laughed and so did my cousin via text via crying-laughing emoji tears everywhere but then she also sent me a ::hug:: which I understood and accepted as a ::hug:: of sorrow for the discomfort of the moment
B said: it’s a good thing you have a sense of humor
and yes that’s true but also she knew immediately and apologized immediately and also after years of presenting as I have but also with everyone assuming and very few reading or listening or paying attention or asking but also I guess it would be weird to ask and so we assume
she’s bound to have questions but it doesn’t mean I have to answer
just know: yes I know for sure and yes for years, for decades yes
the closest of my people have also known and maybe that’s one of the questions: why didn’t she know?
or another: why now and not before?
there aren’t always answers
but anyway yes, this is me and maybe I’ll tell you more another time or maybe not and definitely not right now
I’m not sure that I have completely answered the questions James Finn asked in the Prism & Pen prompt, but the questions brought me back to this recent moment and so I wrote. Thank you, James, for asking — and thank you, friends, for reading.
This story is a response to the Prism & Pen writing prompt: I’m LGBTQ, but You Don’t Know THIS About Me.
Other stories so far →
E. Katherine Kottaras holds an M.A. in English and an M.S. in Kinesiology with a focus on Integrative Wellness, and she is a contemplative writer and holistic teacher, having worked at the middle, high school, and community college levels for over two decades. She is a yoga teacher, personal trainer, and health coach while also living with invisible illnesses and neurodivergence, and as such, she is passionate about mindfulness, bodily self-determination, and health equity. As the queer daughter of an immigrant, Katherine believes that holistic and inclusive approaches to expression, healing, and growth should be accessible to all.
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