20 Things To Do: Health And Stressful Moments In Life

I can imagine how you can be stressed over time.

All the work you have to get done at work, the presents you have to pack for under the Christmas tree, or making your friends home during that lunch on Sunday. And not to forget all the parenting issues you have to go through. At least, that is how I feel sometimes. Not Christmas for us, but Sinterklaas (a tradition in The Netherlands).

I love these things, but it is overwhelming me a little bit too!

Sometimes it gives me stress because I want to do everything ‘perfect’ as I have pictured it in my mind. For me that gives me stress when things don’t work out as I have in mind. I know. I should learn that things are not going as planned in my head, but I feel I have to do it perfectly. At least, that is what my brain says.

These thoughts and mind games I play with myself to feel things must be perfect. My brain says other people think it isn’t perfect, so I want to do it through “the book”. But what “the book” says isn’t clear, as it will be different for everyone else. I am really conscious of that. Actually, I damn know for sure, that is not the case. I only imagine very well how certain things should look like, or the way I want things to look like. Things I haven’t done in the past. I never have done and I want to do differently then my parents did. Like the traditions we have done in the past, we will not do with our family.

When I have in mind to buy a big bold vet Christmas tree, then I never had one in my life. I want a Christmas tree like I never had before. Big, bold with a lot of gold, red, green, silver and blue ornaments, lights and under the tree white fake snow or blanket. And collecting all the presents wrapped in gold, red and silver glowing — with and without glitter — wrapping paper. Love ‘the all in’ Christmas. I don’t want to do things halfway.

As I work for myself as a writer, I have to plan the entire project I am working on and I also have to keep up to that plan. When I don’t do that, I lose track of my career. Then I feel stressed. I stress about what I still have to do through that project. Also, going to stress for the fact that I couldn’t keep up to my own plan.

I realize that my stress level isn’t good for my health.

There are a few things we should know about stress in relation to our health. We have to know what stress does with our bodies and how we can take care of our stress levels in the future.

The kind of stress we know

We know a few kinds of stress. I’ll explain it to you. Probably we know more. This is what I can think of.

Eustress is kind of level is mostly when you have fun and when you’re excited about something. I am excited about writing this piece for you. It is sudden of a great increase.

Acute stress is a level of stress that is for the short term. It could be for a positive or a negative event. This often occurs almost daily. It throws you off-balance in moments. It doesn’t take that long, but that long for not being in balance. Think about an argument with someone or a test you didn’t prepare well enough.

Episodic acute stress is a kind of stress that comes from being chaotic and doing things not organized. You’re not that organized that you’re doing things very late and that you’re running into things without knowing you do so. This leads you to stress because you are doing the groceries the last minute before the event. This especially stresses you out when one essential ingredient is not available anymore.

This episodic acute stress comes from an internal or external reason. Think about the same events that happen from time to time. When you don’t treat this stress illness, it could lead to the following diseases: cancer, heart diseases, diabetes, depression leading to suicidal tendencies, amnesia, loss of memory, headache, or problems with cognition and attentiveness, menstrual and skin-related problems, exhaustion, anxiety, and weakness.

Chronic stress is a stress level you have when you are traumatized as a child. This is a kind of stress that you feel regularly. Every day you’re experiencing that level of stress you felt as a child when you had to get high marks at school, but you never could’ve achieved that. Your parents became angry every time you got low marks, even when these marks were above the average. You always had to get the highest 10 at school to show how smart you are, or that you’ve worked hard, even when your marks are just above the average. That is good, but when your parents disagree with the marks they’ll get angry with you.

You become stressed when you don’t get a high mark at school. You know your parents will get angry when your number is 6,7. Your parents compare this mark as a 1 at the highest education level. They think you will be a failure when you don’t get high marks.

Emotional stress is stress caused by the pain you got from little or big events in your life. Think about a bad marriage, death from a beloved one or you got an accident. Treat emotional stress immediately. This can give more stress when you don’t treat it well.

Battling burnout is a relatively new term. Found in 1974 by Herbert Freudenberger. He originally defined burnout as, “the extinction of motivation or incentive, especially where one’s devotion to a cause or relationship fails to produce the desired results.”

It is when doing your job or even your lifestyle exhausts you. You feel less capable of doing what you’re doing.

What you can do to reduce the stress you’re feeling

Try to find what works well for you to reduce the stress level. Some techniques you can use:

• Breathing exercises are an exercise that works fast. There are different types of breathing exercises you can do. Find out what is best for you. Maybe you can do more breathing exercises that work for you in different kinds of situations. Breath in through your nose. At the same time, you watch your belly fill with air. Hold on for a second, then breath out slowly. This works fine for me. Breath in through your nose. You have to imagine how you inhale calmly and peaceful. Spread the air throughout your body and when you’re exhaling, you have to relieve all the stress and tension you have in your body.
• Cognitive reframing is a way you look at things. So, when you’re in a situation, try to look from it in a different way. Change the way you look at situations.
• Progressive muscle relaxation is that you will calm down by relaxing your muscles. All group by group.
• Guided imaginary is when you think or imagine when you are in your ‘happy place’.
• Meditation is a short term relieve of stress. You have to take slow deep breaths. There are many different kinds of meditations for you to try and find out what’s best for you.
• Walking gives you the opportunity to think about the situation. It releases the stress level you have. How faster you’re walking the faster goes the stress away.
• A hug from a loved one needs everybody. When you get a hug, your body feels loved. When you feel loved, you
• Exercise regularly when you are stressed, then you have to exercise more often.
• Go for a healthy diet and eating healthy while you are stressed leads to a better feeling. When you’re not eating healthy, then the stress level goes further down.
• Support from great relationships by telling your situations and the stress that caused it to your friends or family, you create a supportive group around you. They will understand you. But you have to explain it to them.
• Meditate a lot helps too a lot. I don’t do that, but I will try it definitely in the future.
• Listen to (classical) music. This is what I do often. A lot actually. Daily. It helps you become more relaxed.
• Write a journal helps you to categorize your thoughts and feelings. It relieves when you wrote it in your diary.
• Talk to a friend about what is on your mind. Maybe your friend or a family member has a great tip for you to follow. Even if you don’t get a tip, you are feeling relieved by telling someone.
• Practice mindfulness is always good to be one with your body. When you only think about what you feel, you can recognize what you feel and where in your body feel what you feel. When you feel it you can tell it and find the best therapy for your stress.
• Talk to a therapist to talk to regularly. He or she is trained to know what kind of triggers you got and is trained to find where it came from.
• Take some time off as a vacation. When you take some time off, you can park your feelings, be one with your thoughts and see new things. When you add new experiences and views to your life, you see new perspectives you can follow.
• Laugh more in life. I can say no more about it. When you laugh there is a hormone that reduces the stress level in your body.
• Do some hobbies you like. I play the violin since childhood. When I play the violin, I feel — not only what the composer means with his music — that can think about something else than the problems.
• Create artwork like a painting. You create something that you have been through, but you also can make something not related to your feelings or situations. That is all up to you.

Read my thoughts

Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper, Medium.com. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.

Writing is her passion since childhood. Never had she ever done anything with it until a few months back.

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