Grieving Mother is Irate Due to Stupid Word
The unintended consequences of one word in a title and how I fixed it.
Selecting a good title
I’ve read many articles that stress the importance of good titles. My goal in choosing a title has been three-fold — Write an emotionally engaging hook, concisely describe the story content, and avoid clickbait.
“This score indicates that your headline has a total of 50.00% Emotional Marketing Value (EMV) Words. To put that in perspective, the English language contains approximately 20% EMV words. And for comparison, most professional copywriters’ headlines will have 30%-40% EMV Words in their headlines, while the most gifted copywriters will have 50%-75% EMV words in headlines.” — Advanced Marketing Institute
I use an online copywriter’s tool to assess the emotional impact of possible titles. I type in a possible title, press
Some of the trial titles I tested for a recent article are below in roughly the sequence I tried.
- “Two kayakers die in frigid water” 16.67 %
- “Mistakes Lead to a Slow Painful Death For Two 33.33%
- “Stupid Mistakes Lead to a Slow Painful Death For Two” 44.44%
“Stupid” carries significant emotional value.
I published the article, “Stupid Mistakes Lead to a Slow Painful Death For Two,” relating the events surrounding the drowning deaths of two local men. I received many favorable responses to the quality of the piece and the tragedy of the deaths.
Critics emerge
However, I received two comments highly critical of the title.
Not the full title, just part of the title. Both critics objected strongly to my use of the word “Stupid.” Oops. Grammatically, stupid may modify mistakes, but it was describing the victims on an emotional level. That was not my intent.
Was there a problem?
My essay was offensive to some and galvanizing to others. The question to answer was, do I change the title or leave it as is?
I looked at the options of leaving stupid in the title and deleting stupid from the title.
Leave stupid in the title?
- Stupid is an emotionally charged word.
- It generates engagement by the reader.
- A brief search showed stupid in the title of many stories.
- Some people are offended by almost anything because they choose to be offended.
- Recognize feelings of commentators in responses, apologize, and leave the word in the title?
- If stupid is essential to the story, leave it in the title.
Remove stupid from the title?
Only one question needed to be answered. Was stupid a vital element of the story?
Examination of content and a decision
Careful analysis of the content of my submission revealed only one occurrence of the offending word. My only intent in using that particular word was to modify mistakes. Other words could be used, such as unintentional, accidental, tragic, fatal, and costly.
A quick check of possible alternate headlines quickly resulted in the new title of “Costly Mistakes Lead to a Slow Painful Death For Two,” with an EMV rating of 50.0%. Wow! Get rid of the problematic word AND get a higher EMV rating. Just a couple of keystrokes, and the title changed.
I’ve learned several things from this experience.
- I’ll select titles and subtitles carefully.
- I’ll use a title analyzer to evaluate emotional marketing value.
- I’ll look carefully at the optics of the title. Computers don’t measure cultural aspects well.
- If I choose to use emotionally charged words, I’ll have a plan for how to respond to critics.
The most important takeaway for me is that my words can have a powerful impact on others. What I say and how I say it means something to people. As a writer, I need to choose my words well.
Citations
Emotional Marketing Value Headline Analyzer — Advanced Marketing Institute
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All Rights Reserved © 2019 Randle B. Moore (minor edits made Jan. 2022)
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P.S. These are the test titles for this essay
Stupid Titles Are the Bane of My Existence 25%
Stupid Title Causes Anger and Frustration in Reader 37.5%
Stupid Word Causes Anger Outburst From Grieving Mother 37.5%
The Right Title is Essential But Can Cause Problems 33.33%
Mother of Dead Son is Outraged by One Word 0.0%
Dead Son’s Mother is Outraged 0.0%
Grieving Mother is Irate Over Stupid Word 28.57%
Grieving Mother is Irate Due to “Stupid” Word 50.0%