Go Ahead, Have a Cow, Man!

Summary

The web content discusses the societal norms and guidelines for expressing frustrations and opinions, particularly as one ages and gains life experience, in a way that is constructive and avoids unnecessary harm.

Abstract

The article titled "Go Ahead, Have a Cow, Man!" humorously addresses the concept of aging and the societal permission granted to express oneself more freely as one accumulates life experiences, such as wrinkles, gray hair, and wisdom. It emphasizes the importance of thoughtful reflection before voicing opinions, suggesting that rants should be well-considered and edited to avoid regret and harm. The piece advises a balance between passion and judgment, urging readers to use their wisdom-based insights responsibly. It also warns against the misuse of this privilege by those who are not yet qualified, often characterized by smooth skin and a tendency for self-indulgent rants. The author, Ellen Anne Chong, provides a list of tips for maintaining good standing when letting out a rant, including rumination, legal considerations, and ensuring that the rant has a silver lining. The article concludes by encouraging those who have earned the right to express themselves freely and cathartically, while also promoting Chong's other works.

Opinions

The author believes that there is a right time in life, marked by physical signs of aging and accumulated wisdom, to express strong opinions or frustrations more freely.
There is a critique of unqualified individuals who prematurely share their opinions, often lacking depth and understanding, which can lead to harmful consequences.
The article suggests that there is a responsible way to rant, which involves careful thought, a cooling-off period, and editing to ensure that the expression is legal, does not hurt others, and does not make the ranter look foolish.
The author values the cathartic nature of expressing one's thoughts and encourages it, provided it is done with maturity and consideration.
There is an underlying tone of humor and satire in the way the author addresses the societal 'It’s OK To Have A Cow' law, which is not to be taken literally but rather as a metaphor for the freedom to express oneself as one grows older.

Ruminations, rants and raves

Photographer credit — unknown | Subject — O.R. Sheppa holding his steadfast cow aloft — circa 1920s | From the author’s archive | Disclosure: I only wrote this piece so I could post this photo of my great-grandpa and his cow. | ©Ellen Anne Chong

You get to bitch a bit if you are lucky and get to the point where wrinkles start to crinkle your skin. You have earned the right to have an occasional cow.

The following information is classified. Stop reading now if you have never earned any of the following:

At least one laugh line

A gray hair

An eye-roll from someone with none of the above

The following is for initiated members only.

Do not spill the beans about the special privileges of membership in the top-secret It’s OK To Have A Cow Society (a venerated level of The Secret Order of The Old People) to anyone not yet qualified for induction.

They will misunderstand and run with it.

We’ve had a big problem with unqualified individuals spewing crap all over the internet and such under the guise of ‘advice’. Some are simply angry, self-indulgent rants.

A large percentage of these perpetrators (though granted, not all) possess smooth skin and rolling eyes. They seem to mean well, so if you must interact, try to be kind and gentle with them. Be the example.

At a point between the time their frontal lobes are fully developed and the time said lobes begin to shrink, they will come to see the light. They will then step over the fence and join The Secret Order of The Old People in the pasture of the mooing cows.

There is an unwritten law about the rite of passage into the pasture. I cannot go into the specifics, as it must remain unwritten. Loosely, it’s the ‘It’s OK to Have a Cow’ law, and it applies to those of us with a certain amount of gray hair, joint pain, and accumulated wisdom.

The ‘wisdom’ part is key. Without it, people get hurt. The wisdom-based rant is powerful and must be used sparingly and judiciously.

Below are several tips to help you maintain your good standing when you let a rant rip:

Ruminate. Yes, chew the cud a while before putting the words together.

Think it out (see above) before passion overtakes you. If not, you may regret it later.

Never, ever, hit ‘send’ or ‘publish’ without a cooling-off period and an edit.

Ditto the above for verbal rants. Pause before releasing that torrent of words via the mouth. They cannot be edited once they are delivered.

Keep it legal. This has gray areas, so check first.

Try not to hurt anyone, including yourself.

If your dark rant has a silver lining, make sure it shows; people will like you better and want to know more.

Does this rant/rave/cow-fart make you look like an idiot?

The above tips are nothing new, especially if you are qualified enough to have read beyond the ‘stop reading now if…’ line at the beginning of this memo. However, they do serve to remind those of us who feel the need to express ourselves to keep it safe, keep it legal, and keep it sane.

It can be downright cathartic to let it all out. Right? So, go ahead, have a cow. You deserve it.

More From Ellen Anne Chong:

FILE UNDER BRAIN FARTS

Go Ahead, Have a Cow, Man!

Ruminations, rants and raves

Hellfire and Meditation

An unexpected discovery

I’m Anti-Aging! Oops, I’m Dead. Arwrgh.

Opti-age, it’s the better way to go