FINDING THAT SWEET SPOT
Hellfire and Meditation
“You should try meditation.”
Said the yoga expert as she lilted left to avoid the fidgety energy field that is my aura.
And while I’m at it, I can sprout wings and fly.
The thought morphs into different words and they exit my mouth as “Thanks, I’ll take that into consideration.”
She means well, so I am kind. Meditation and I have never mixed well.
For decades, good people have offered up interesting observations about my behavior. They offer advice, tell me how to find some zen in my life. As though I’m broken, unaware, and need fixing.
I am aware; I am mindful of the fact that I can be high-strung, a bit of a fidget. That’s how I’m wired. Yet the well-intended continue to offer to ‘fix me’.
You might be like this too. Join me now, and read on.
A neurologist told me recently that yoga is probably not for me. Where had she been all my life? She understood that like many of us, the wiring is just different. Not wrong, different.
She suggested tai chi. Bless her heart, she meant well and was on the right track. I didn’t bother to tell her that I had tried tai chi. It’s not for me.
If motion could be static, it would be called tai chi.
And then, I began to research things I may have dismissed before. Internet articles about how meditation can reverse damage to the brain’s synapses and this and that and on and on about the benefits of meditation and other things that promised calm and balance in one’s life.
I surrendered, and searched a topic: Meditation.
I asked myself (no doubt prompted by something I read) “What do I enjoy that I don’t do enough of?” Hmmm. Music, I like to tap my feet and move to the music. I don’t do it enough.
Alexa, play “Good Morning Starshine”.
Well, I’ll be damned, that was very uplifting. Leaving the shuffled Alexa selections playing, I continue my research into meditation and such things. This was new, reading with music on. New things, good for the brain.
Oh, the things I read about meditation, mindfulness, and breathing techniques. None of this was new to me, as I am older and have seen a lot. Yet it was enlightening to take in the information with a different mindset.
This meditation stuff might work on me if I work on it. But, still not convinced. It’s so…static.
The happy happy joy joy tunes continued, Alexa was doing her job. What’s this? The theme song from “Flipper”! Delightful…had not heard that in years! A bit of head bobbing along with “Do wah Diddy Diddy Diddy dum Diddy do”…ah how fun. My feet tapped the air at the end of my chaise lounge.
Maybe there’s something to this move-to-music thing. Huh.
Back to my reading. I am immersed in something about pranayama techniques, the music fades into the background.
Then, holy mother of all! Outta nowhere, Alexa is spewing —
“I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE! And I bring you…FIRE!” — Arthur Brown
Why did she veer from the Monkees to what’s arguably the first Heavy Metal song ever?
Is this a sign?
Ya know what? It was awesome. My shoulders started dancing, I found myself up on my feet. I was a wild woman, moving in ways I hadn’t moved in a long while. It felt so good, the song is so…deliciously dark, so bad. In a good way.
Is this…nirvana?
“Fire” lit something in me at just the right moment.
Had I just put two-and-two together and discovered something that was within me all along?
All my life, I have tapped a toe, strummed my fingers, or actually danced when I heard music that plays into my vibe. I could be in the supermarket and spontaneously let it rip. My kids would cringe and say “stop it, mom!” and snap me out of it. I didn’t know why, and I never thought about it.
Perhaps, my body has been trying to tell me something all this time.
One could argue that dancing to music, heavy metal or otherwise, does not fit into traditional meditation and/or mindful grounding practices, and it’s not yoga.
Yet, I now believe that for all these years, all I had to do was click my heels together, and I could go to a place where the mind empties and I am part of the flow.
All that was missing was intent. To be aware of why I feel so good when I tap my toes, snap my fingers, or dance. I’ve known about mindfulness and even practiced it to a certain extent for years. I’ve just never combined mindfulness with music and movement until now.
You might want to try it too.
It’s been a few days since my big hellfire epiphany. My buddy Alexa is getting a lot of use. “Good Morning Starshine” starts the day now. “Inna Gadda Da Vida” sometimes makes the list.
I’m saving “Fire” for special occasions.
Missed the music links in this story? Here ya go:
If as of yet uninitiated, click the link for the “Fire” experience:
And definitely click on this for a smile:
