Ghosting: How Awful Does The Recipient Of The Narcissistic Violence Feel?
I do not know if we have decided to make ghosting “fashionable” or if we have just given a name to an already established tactic.
Ghosting looks like a bad imitation of the youth game “hide and seek”; unfortunately it is not innocent at all. It is often used by narcissists when they feel that something inside them is over, but they do not have the guts to express it in person.
What Is “Ghosting”?
Ghosting is a favorite tactic of people with narcissistic personality disorder, according to which they suddenly and for no apparent reason get disappeared. People who are left behind, in the cold of the bathroom, wonder what has happened and if they are to blame somewhere for this reversal.
Reasons For Ghosting
Ghosting is not an impulsive action, but a well-thought-out step, which narcissists apply when the target person is no longer useful to them. Another reason that a narcissist chooses to ghost is the insidious manipulation of the victim through the cultivation of guilts. The victim will wonder what has happened, will look for the narcissist, but will never receive any answer.
How Does The Victim Feel About Ghosting?
The first thought of the victim will be “Why is he ignoring me; is it my fault”? This is the trap! This is exactly what the narcissist wants from you; to feel guilty — while you are a victim — and return, admitting your blame! He wants you to be submissive and manipulated, under the fear of rejection and exclusion!
If the victim rejects the possibility of having done something bad to his perpetrator, he will reasonably think that something is wrong with the narcissist. His first thought will be the narcissist’s physical health; maybe he has had a crash, maybe a brick has fallen on his head, maybe his cell phone has been stolen…
Much later, the victim will realize that the narcissist will neither pick up the phone nor send a message. After repeated communication attempts that will be fruitless, the recipient of this emotional abuse will feel despair, confusion, and disappointment.
A Message To The Narcissist
Things in your life may do not go as you would wish, the person you are abusing may be in a more favorable position than you and you are jealous of this fact. However, this does not justify any form of violence.
Ghosting is an act of cowardice. You might never have spoken but your attitude shouts that you are weak and coward. Your behavior makes you look completely unworthy.
Do you think that with this behavior you are escaping from a relationship that makes you feel inferior? I would like to inform you that you are just recycling a vicious circle! In your next “adventure” something will bother you AGAIN!
And then AGAIN you will resort to “ghosting” to feel better...
Shall you move on like this for a lifetime? Is this sustainable? Why don’t you look at your mirror, try to understand what is happening to you, and find better ways to communicate with those around you?
Rhetorical questions to deaf ears…