My Experience with a Professional Yoni (Intimate) Massage
How it went and what I learned from it
Touch has always been my thing. If it were up to me, heaven would be an infinite oily ayurvedic massage. When I’m on the massage table, I always ponder about the parts of the body that are “not ok” for the masseuse to touch. Breasts, genitals. Most avoid glutes, although I cherish the professionals who attack this area (I have issues on my hips so anything around that area is highly helpful).
This avoidance of certain parts of our bodies contributes to defining what is ok or not to touch. Yet these parts have so much that we need to work on. Our hearts are highly connected to all our chest area, including our breasts. We hold a crazy amount of tension not only on our hips but on our sexual organs. Yet we never work on these areas professionally.
I’ve been practicing tantra for some time now, and some basic tantric exercises include simply relaxing our vulva and our jaws. As we start doing them, we realize how much more tense in our bodies we are than we think.
So I was curious: how would a massage be that treats all parts of the body the same, one where there’s nothing that cannot be touched? If I could learn more about tantra with it, then even better!
The Yoni Massage
I had been experimenting with different exercises to increase my orgasmic capability for a while when I decided to go for a tantric massage, including the yoni massage. Yoni is the Sanskrit term for the female genital and is the word most commonly used in spiritual circles.
It was at a big risk. I didn’t have anyone to ask for recommendations, and these are expensive treatments. At least in Stockholm where I lived then, they were not offered in well-known establishments.
I ended up as we do these days — googling. I found about four professionals and chose by their website which one talked most to me. To book the massage, I had to answer some basic questions such as, what my purpose was with this treatment. Since I was going to do this, I did it all in and booked the longest one: three hours of massage.
Setting boundaries and asking for what you want.
When I got there, the masseuse asked me again what was my purpose with the massage. She said she gets many people looking for a “sexual massage” and that was beyond the point; this was sacred work. She was showing people what their bodies could do, what was the potential of it all once we learned to relax and let go.
And that’s what I wanted. I had been practicing with my sexuality for a long time but had a feeling it could be so much more. There was a wall I wasn’t been able to break. My then-partner was trying tantra because of me, and he did not have more experience to show me something new. Reading from books was good to get exercises, but it wasn’t showing me what I was going after. It was all fuzzy. I needed a Master.
She asked me what I wanted and not wanted. I found myself surprised by the fact I actually couldn’t answer her clearly: I want a yoni massage on the outside and inside of my yoni. That was what I wanted. She clearly advertised she did that.
But after asking me what I wanted and my inability to answer clearly, she had to expressively ask me about the yoni. When I said yes to both, she looked at me and said, “Just as important as imposing boundaries, and explicitly saying what you don’t want, so it is important for you to state loud and clear what you want. Otherwise, who knows if you will be happy with what you will get?” Which is pretty much tantra 101.
I already knew that mentally, but that was the situation that made my body finally get it. If she did not ask me, I was running the risk of having paid for this to not get what I wanted because I was ashamed of saying it. Crazy.
Ok, it’s obviously not like she is going to massage your yoni for 3 hours. The massage starts with a full-body massage. The idea is to relax and calm down the nervous system to have the yoni as relaxed as possible when it comes to its area.
During the full-body massage, it is also important to be conscious of the breathing, and breath in and out as deep as possible, in a circular manner. That’s because that increases the amount of energy circulating in our bodies. We could breathe in normally, but that would turn the massage into a regular relaxing massage, and that’s not the point here. The idea is to increase the amount of energy we are capable of circulating in our bodies. Breathwork is crucial to increase our orgasmic capability, not only during this massage, but also in sex, self-pleasuring, and any other modality.
Then, there’s a yoni massage.
The yoni massage itself was divided into different parts. First, there’s massaging the outside, again in preparation for the inside. Before coming in with her finger, she once again asked if I was ready and she could come in.
The first thing she did inside was “spotting”, that is, pressing and holding different parts of the inside of the yoni. She was looking for tensions, just as you would press and hold a soared point on your shoulder. Some of the points were painful, whereas others seemed numb. She went around it as a clock, holding on 12 different points and sensing them. Then she went a bit deeper inside and repeated the same procedure.
Later, instead of holding, she started doing different movements. As she did them, she would conduct me in different breathings. The breath was always deep, but at first slow, through the mouth only. She said that was the breath of the root chakra.
That was about when I started orgasming.
We went through a breathing journey through the chakras, where the rhythm of the breath would speed up and change to the nose. As we ended on the crown chakra, I was breathing only through the nose, deep and very fast.
My orgasm was at first limited to the pelvic area, but every time I altered the breath, it would expand and include a bigger part of my body, advancing according to what chakra was being targeted with my breath.
That means that by the last breath, my orgasm was a full-body experience. This was a long exercise, which means my orgasm was somewhere between 20–30 min long. Not bad hmm?
Besides a long orgasm, it was a different experience: not only because it was a full-body experience, but because it was an out of body experience. I felt I was something much bigger as if I was in the body of a giant. A light-as-a-feather giant. In a way, I didn’t know what I was, and it didn’t matter. I was the awareness of bliss.
The masseuse said that the fact that I could bring this to my whole body means I don’t have any big tensions/blockages stopping me from getting somewhere higher. She said that often, people would orgasm but couldn’t expand the feeling all the way to their toes or to their chest area.
Sometimes it was because in order to achieve a higher ecstasy, they needed first to release blockages (such as traumas or shame) or they needed to pay more attention to their breathing.
Besides leaving her practice in heaven, I felt less shame.
It was such a divine understanding of the potential in our bodies for blissful love, how could there be shame on that? Furthermore, I now knew what I was going after in my sex life. I had a clear, concrete reference.
No more shallow encounters, which is tricky in a big city in 2020, the age of ephemeral dating. That’s a clear boundary: unfulfilling sex is something I never want again. More importantly, I knew that if this is what happened in a first trial, with more practice, the sky’s the limit — and the sky is what I want.
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Hi, I am Aline Ra M, spiritual guide and healer providing solid foundations for soul fulfillment and spiritual progression, so you can live divinely.
