Fuck Couples Therapy, Buy A LEGO Set Instead!

With some drinks and conversation on the side, it’s more fun and cheaper than couples therapy will ever be.

Right. I’ve never been shy in bragging about my infinite well of inspiration that fuels my writing, and it just so happens that once in a while another writer — be that a total newbie or the exact opposite — triggers an idea. This is one of those, and I have to thank Jill Medatia for inspiring this story with a comment on one of my LEGO articles. She’s very new to Medium, but great ideas can come from anywhere, so if you’re into reading about literally anything, give her a follow. Officially, I’m following her husky, but that’s just me being a weirdo, you go, find your own reasons to read her stories.

While it might seem like I’m shoving plastic bricks down everyone’s throat, hold on for a hot minute here, and hear me out. LEGO is more than just plastic bricks. In fact, if we have learned anything throughout history is that anything and everything is more than just one thing, and that includes LEGO.

If you’re a couple, and you’re struggling with the cuddling, give LEGO a chance before spending your hard-earned cash on couples therapy.

Say what?!?

You heard me. Look, I’m not saying that couples therapy is bullshit, or that therapists are quacks, but take a step back and think. Seriously, stop Googling, “cheap couples therapist near me”. First of all, cheap and therapy in the same sentence is a paradox. Secondly, stop trying to find someone else to fix your problems. It might seem like an unexpected proposition, but LEGO, I genuinely think, has more chances of fixing your love-life than some therapist in a leather chair, and here’s why.

First of all, you will have to find a set that you both like. That’s an interesting exercise, innit? Don’t go for a small set. In fact, if you can afford it, go for one that’s huge, like a modular building from the Creator Expert series. Once you’re done deciding which one to get, if you have a shop in your area that has it, go pick it up together. Trust me, it’s bigger than you think, and this time it’s not a lewd joke.

And now comes the fun part — the unboxing, the sitting down and building the thing. Get a glass of something while you’re at it, it does not have to be alcoholic, but it might help. Maybe put some music on as well, but nothing overpowering. Of course, it goes without saying, keep the fucking lights on. You’re building LEGO here, not putting buns into the oven!

Then start building. Open the instruction manuals, pop the bags open, and start building… the set, and your relationship.

Why this works…

Perhaps for a while the only thing you’ll hear is the music and the rattling of the bricks, broken occasionally by the slurping of the wine or beer, but it won’t stay like that very long. The thing with building LEGO is that it’s highly conducive for conversations. Building LEGO is relaxing, building the same set together is teamwork, and through all this building and relaxation you will start finding your way to a dialogue, which is the main point.

Look, let’s be frank here. People who actually want to save a relationship will have no choice but to talk, and much more often than not, you don’t need a referee or some professional to teach you how to talk. I believe in humans being able to deal with most of their relationship problems through nothing more than communication. As you put brick upon brick, you’re building something together — a great catalyst for building your relationship. It might be in ruins already, but — allow me to use a LEGO analogy — a ruin is just a deconstructed set, loose bricks waiting to be stuck together again.

Perhaps you’ll need more than one set to fully find your way to opening up about all the things you didn’t really communicate well, and who knows, that might just have been the issue all along — that you were never relaxed enough to communicate well. You know it’s quite difficult to shout at one another with tiny LEGO pieces in your hands and all around you, so chances are you’ll inevitably dial things down a notch, and maybe that dialled down, relaxed tone is what you need to start the healing process between the two of ye.

But it doesn’t even have to be that direct of a conversation. Building a LEGO set and casually having a conversation during the build can trigger countless memories which you might feel like sharing, or other random thoughts and “what ifs”. The direction of the conversation doesn’t have to be set at all. That’s really not the point. The point is that as long as you’re both sitting at the same table or on the same floor/carpet — everyone has their own LEGO building style — that dialogue is active.

It’s worth a try…

Couples therapy in 2022 can cost anywhere between $50 to $250 for just 50 minutes, and you’ll find yourself going for more than one session. In fact, package deals recommend at least 6–12 sessions. That’s easily a grand, and nothing is guaranteed. You might still end up staring at the stark prospect of breakup or divorce, just a grand or two poorer, and unable to recover that money. Therapy is also no fun. Sorry, I have yet to meet someone saying they had fun in therapy. “How does that make you feel?” — is never the opening line to any kind of fun, unless it involves drugs.

With LEGO, however, you will have tons of fun. For $800 you can get not one, two, or three, but four of the modular buildings from the Creator Expert series! Even if you count just three hours of build-time per set, that’s 12 hours taken care of right there. And at the end of those 12 hours? Well, you have a whole LEGO street, an impressive collection that will actually sell really well 5–10 years later, one you can split if you still want to break up, and it cost you only half or less of what therapy would have cost. Heck, if you wish to sell it right after, you’ll still get 70–80% of your money back.

Who knew LEGO could become a couples therapist’s biggest competition?

You think it doesn’t work? Think again. Have you tried it? As we say in Ireland, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it… 🤷‍♂️ 🤷‍♀️

Attila Vago — Software Engineer improving the world one line of code at a time. Cool nerd since forever, writer of codes and blogs. Web accessibility advocate, Lego fan, vinyl record collector. Loves craft beer!