A WRITER’S LIFE

Freelancing Used to be So Straightforward

WTF happened?

For those writers here who were born in the Monolithic era, like me, no doubt you’ll recall a time when you searched for freelance writing gigs, connected with a potential buyer, forwarded whatever shit they asked for and that was it. Either you got the work, or you didn’t.

Now, there are all sorts of sites where you can register to find freelance work from a wide variety of buyers, from individuals to corporations. And, that’s a good thing.

The problem lies with many of these sites requiring relentlessly cumbersome registration processes. Take Fiverr, for example. I signed on weeks ago, not with much hope, or enthusiasm, but I figured, “why not?” If it’s relatively easy to create an account to sell my wares, I figured I’d give it a shot.

I’m still creating my account. Or, attempting to. First, I was thrown by my having to “create a gig.” I thought my task was to respond to potential gigs.

WTF. I soldiered on. And then, when it came to naming said gig, this was a character-building process in itself. I nearly tore my hair out after receiving “red alert” after red alert that my title didn’t have enough words, or needed words and numbers, or required my bending over for an anal probe.

What wasn’t explained properly, for me, anyway, was that we need to add at least four words to the “I will” that Fiverr helpfully tacks onto the beginning of the gig title. So, feeling like an utter dope, it took me a few tries before I hit the mark with “I will exceed expectations every time.”

Huzzah!

Next on the agenda: Packages. There are three. Basic, Standard, and Premium. I’m supposed to name the packages that are already named and describe in some depth what is included with each, along with my fees.

Then, there’s a whole shitload of extra services that the hapless writer is supposed to pack into their already confusing packages. So to speak.

I’m still looking at this page and my head is starting to swim.

Why the ever-loving fuck can’t we writers get work, without putting in a fuck-ton of work, first? WHY?

Lest you think I’m sounding dim, I did watch the introductory video with the uber-relaxed Fiverr guy who appeared mummified as he “walked us through” the again, convoluted process of becoming a Fiverr SUCCESS STORY!

People, is it so terrible to just want to write without all the bullshit? That’s how I made my living. There were other people, called “account staff” who determined what clients would pay for my expertise.

In order to snag freelance writing gigs, I’m happy to come up with an hourly fee, but this “packages” crap is soul-sucking.

And what’s with “Fiverr,” anyway? Are we supposed to assume that five bucks is about as much as we can expect to earn? Why not TenSpot? Have the folks behind this platform not taken Marketing 101 where “aspirational copy” is king?

I’m wondering if I should just forget about trying to get with the Fiverr program. When you start to feel that you need to hire someone just to create an appealing profile, you’re pretty much screwed.

Your thoughts, please?

© Sherry McGuinn, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. She is currently pitching her newest screenplay, “The Month We Fell Apart,” a drama with dark, comedic overtones inspired by a true story, as well as “DEAD TIRED,” a female-driven, ass-kicking thriller.