HARD PASS

“The Urban Writers” a Skid Row Scam

Unless writing 5,000 words for zip is your jam

Yesterday, I was scrolling through all the crap in my Gmail, when I came across this nugget, with a subject line bleating, Not A Goodbye, But A “See You Soon!”

Hey there Sherry,

We know that life can get busy, but we’ve noticed that you have not yet requested a trial order. While we understand that things can unexpectedly happen, we are eager for you to become familiar with the TUW Platform and start accessing customer orders.

At this time we have deactivated your Platform Profile. We’d be happy to see you jump back into your trial order, and we invite you to reach out when you are ready to get started so we can reactivate you!

Our admin team is always happy to assist you in navigating the Platform or accessing your resources.

Wishing you all the best and hope to see you on the Platform soon!

The Urban Writers

Wow. I signed up for this latest kick in the ass at a weak moment. You know what I’m talking about. You read a story about all the great ways for writers to make money online and, along with Vocal Media and Fiverr and all the rest of the ass reamers, a new one catches your eye: The Urban Writers.

TUW professes to be a “ghostwriting” service for those writers who, well, can’t write. So, they enlist dupes to ghostwrite manuscripts and blogs and eBooks and the like, for what amounts to chump change.

As it’s been weeks since I applied, I barely remember the application process, but it was sufficiently arduous, like most are these days. And when I finally received the email saying I was “accepted,” the head of steam I’d worked up had long since evaporated.

Meh.

In that email, I was told that I’d have to watch a video explaining the “process” and then download and sign an NDA before moving forward. Too, I learned that the puppeteers at The Urban Writers were “excited” to have me! Look for yourself.

We’re excited to share that we have moved your profile into the Orientation and Verification stage. We’re looking forward to getting to know you better!

What that really meant was:

We’re excited for you to do a shit-ton of work for us, for free so you can feel like an even bigger flop!

The next step was to fill out a bunch of extraneous bullcrap, as on other such platforms. My bio, niche interests, pronouns, profile image and banner, headline, and “extra info questions.”

WTF!? Why can’t we writers with years of experience in our fields be allowed to just get to it? Why must we be “verified” by abject idiots who probably don’t understand what that even means? And who verifies them?

By the way, I always use “It” for my pronoun. Screw ‘em.

So, like an ass, I filled out my profile and complied with all the other crap and was told that a member of their Freelance Success Team (aka, “twit”) would review my documents, marking me as a verified freelancer on their Platform upon confirmation.

“Upon confirmation.” Say, what?

Folks, can you believe that this is what we have to endure to make a few bucks? I mean, not even a living. We’re talking grocery money if that. If eating ramen at every meal is your thing.

You see, the people that run shitty platforms like The Urban Writer don’t want us to make a living because that would cut into their making a living.

That’s bad enough. But what truly pisses me off is that these vague entities who take writers for granted, play off our desperation. Or what they assume is our desperation. And that should be unacceptable to us all.

Yes, I want to bring in a few extra bucks but I refuse to write 5,000 words (of what I can’t remember), plus an entire book outline for nada. And that’s what The Urban Writers expect before we dupes can become “verified freelancers.”

Screw that and screw them.

So, because I didn’t knuckle under to their Naziesque tactics, I received the above-mentioned, dust-off. Would you like to know how I responded? Sure, you do!

Screw you and your bullshit platform. I’ll make sure to write about it elsewhere. Cheers.

And I did write about it elsewhere. Right here on, Medium. (You’re welcome, Coach.)

I hope this story helps anyone who’s been thinking about becoming a “verified freelancer” for The Urban Writers. Take my advice and avoid them like a certain scumbag of an ex-President of the United States avoids paying his taxes.

Five thousand words, my ass.

© Sherry McGuinn, 2022. All Rights Reserved.

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And if this story gave you goosies, please check out the ones I’ve conveniently linked to, as well as my newsletter, Sherry Raw.

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. She is currently pitching her newest screenplay, “The Month We Fell Apart,” a drama with dark, comedic overtones inspired by a true story, as well as “DEAD TIRED,” a female-driven, ass-kicking thriller.