Freedom’s Responsibility
Many of us aren’t aware, but our freedom comes with responsibilities.
Why God? Why did you allow this to happen to me?” Allison complained as she entered my living room.
I listen to her words, waiting for the bomb to explode.
“Why did you give humans freedom of mind, hearts, soul, and choice?” she rants, sitting down beside me on the sofa.
Now, being a female who loves the idea of free will, freedom of choice, and life for all humans and animals, her words punctured my heart. I am aware that many responsibilities accompany all of the above. I let my pain out.
Turning to her, I demand, “ All of what you just said comes with their own sets of rules and responsibilities. You are happy with others making decisions for you?”
“Look at the mess I have made with my life,” she stressed. “I chose the wrong guys to marry and make them fathers of my children. My children hate their fathers and me. They hold me to all of my mistakes daily. I chose the wrong profession to go into and can’t maintain my responsibilities or hold on to a job. My entire life is living on wrong decisions.”
‘Blame is lighter when shared.’ I thought to myself.
“Don’t you want more control of your life?” I challenged. I am wondering if she hit her head somewhere before getting here.
“You and my mother are the only two humans that know my ins and outs. You know everything I do and the results of all my actions, choices, and decisions.”
“True,” I agreed. “But you never listen to or take any of our advice.”
Sighing, she went on, “And many times, I know you can feel the pain of many of my stupid decisions. Because you are the first person all of my five kids go to when they have a problem.”
“True,” I agree again. “Your children listen and learn, even with innocence and lack of experience. You,” I said, rolling my eyes, swaying my head east to west while holding on to eye contact. “With all of your knowledge, experiences, and mistakes, don’t!”
“Why?” she questioned. “Why can’t I make the right decisions for myself?”
Many thoughts spun around my head. I grabbed a quick look back at our lives, pain, sorrow, regrets, and all of the other unpleasant experiences. Then I compared it to all of the pleasant ones. The reasons refused to hide. So did the pain.
I cleared my throat, then shared my opinion, “I think many of us aren’t aware of our actions or the life we are living.”
When awareness is absent from our lives, making stupid decisions is easy for many. Some of us live only for ourselves. Many decisions made satisfy and feed egos while giving personal pleasure.
I went on, “when I was pregnant with my first child, my mother sat me down and counseled, ‘after this child is born, you are no longer living life for yourself. Your actions, choices, and decisions can and will help or hinder your child. When raising children, lessons are taught to both parents and their children daily from all actions and reactions. The life of this child is in your hands. I know Jerry is a good husband and will be a wonderful father, but mothers’ hands are strapped to the handle of the blade of life whether she likes it or not. Most of the responsibilities are toss at her. It shouldn’t be that way because it takes both a male and female to give life. Your decisions will turn that handle in the right or wrong direction. Please, make the right decisions.”
Technology has made it easy for us to witness live, direct, and real-time examples of those who don’t make the right choices. Plus, friends and family life and living are there for us to see as an example. Seeing the consequences of those stupid decisions should be a lesson.
My mother also shared, “Someone wise said, ‘there is no bad habit in a child that cannot be traced back to an adult.’ Children need both parents. But some can make it with one good parent. May God have mercy on the child who has none. Our children deserve better than what is given to many of them. Be the best parent. “
Tears flowed from Allison’s eyes. She wiped them away with both hands and voiced, “How can I not be aware of the life I am living. God knows I have felt all of the pain and disappointment.”
“I am sorry,” I apologize.
“How do you do it?” she asked. “How do you live so aware and alert? Aren’t you afraid of some of the things life pushes your way?”
“So, you are afraid of life?” I pushed back, thinking quickly about what she had just said.
“And you aren’t,” she fired at me.
“Is that why you continue to make the wrong decisions?”
“Why do you make the right ones?” she continued her fight.
“I want control of my life,” I said with surety. “I learned early that like all things in life, it comes with a cost. I don’t mind paying. So, whatever life pushes my way, I can handle it. I don’t want anyone making any decisions for me if I am capable. I want to feel all of my pain.”
“Why?” she inquires, staring at me as if I said something wrong.
“Girl pain has a language of its own. Pain is a teacher. It’s guidance, understanding, wisdom, and more for me. It tells me who and what to avoid. Then gives me the power to make the right decisions for my family and me.”
“Where do I start?”
“Inside of you,” I encourage. “All of what you want to do and should do is inside of you, waiting on you to do the right thing.”
“But how will I know if it is the right thing?” she pushes back.
“You said your entire life has been living on wrong decisions?”
She nods in agreement.
“Those two actions share different results and emotions. And girlfriend,” I rubbed in, taking her hands and peering into her eyes. “You will know and feel the difference between them. All of them!”
God gave humans free will. It’s a right we should enjoy and not take lightly but use wisely. Parents or not, depending on your position of power and influence, your decisions will impact many lives. Own and take responsibility for your freedom of choice. If you don’t, you will learn nothing from your mistakes and will keep repeating them!
What are the responsibilities of Freedom?
This piece is a work of fiction, packed with truths.
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