Four Ways To Feel Confident When Talking To Powerful People
Powerful people rock because they often look as if they own their space. Do they feel powerful, though? Some are natural, while others have worked behind closed doors to reach their destination. You can, too, if you know how.
I see lots of powerful people in my work as an Executive Coach. Powerful means different things to different people. Some want to be more powerful and heard in meetings, while others want to shift gears and make a difference in their company and careers.
Imagine The Following
Jeff had no problems with confidence from a young age. He was a natural and gifted young boy. He did well at school and thrived at University, and it was natural for him to take on a couple of Student Society positions in his spare time.
He breezed through his interviews at the Big Investment Banks in London and, effectively speaking, only felt the ‘heat under the collar’ during the final rounds. He climbed up the ranks and did well. However, the real test came during the first-morning meeting with the new MD, who fired question after question at him.
The MD recently joined from another big bank, and she was the no-nonsense type. She was brought in to turn around the division’s fortunes, which had stagnated for a few years. Jamie built her reputation throughout her career, and she demanded excellence from her team. She set the bar high right from the outset.
Jamie sat looking at Jeff as his mind went blank for a nanosecond. Jeff knew what he wanted to say but couldn’t get the words out, and when he did, he knew he fluffed it because his argument didn’t sound too convincing.
Jeff was so used to Dan’s style (Old MD) that he was overwhelmed by Jamie. She was powerful. Instead of easing off, she carried on pummelling Jeff with industry questions. Jeff knew his stuff, but Jamie won.
Jamie knew what Jeff was going through because she’d been in a similar situation when she first started. Her MD did the same to her, and she never forgot that moment. In her mind, she could relive the experience as if it were happening to her now.
Jamie asked Jeff to stay back after the meeting. She would have an informal chat with him, not to dress him down, but similar to the one she was given as an Associate. Jeff looked uneasy because he wasn’t quite sure what Jamie wanted to talk about.
Jeff wanted to make the right impression and thought he was doing alright. He was a little tired after a busy weekend in Milan for his girlfriend’s birthday party, but that was no excuse. There could be no excuses in banking. None.
The Pep Talk
When Jamie spoke to Jeff, she didn’t launch into a disapproving tirade. Instead, she softened her tone and asked Jeff how he was doing. She wanted to ensure he was in a good, professional place before the client on Thursday. Jeff was surprised by her concerns because he thought he would get an earful, especially after not keeping up with her in the meeting.
Jamie suggested he review the client presentation deck again and brush up on the industry because he would lead the conversation instead of Jamie. Jeff was surprised but didn’t show it. Jamie said she needed to fly out to New York for a meeting with the management team and squeeze in a couple of client meetings.
Jamie wanted Jeff to present to the team in tomorrow’s meeting as a rehearsal for the client meeting. If she felt he wasn’t up to scratch, she’d pull him off the meeting and get Xavier to step in instead. Jeff knew how important the meeting was this week, and he’d have to ensure he’d rise to the occasion. He also wanted to make it to the Senior Vice President role by the end of the year.
Before he tackled the client deck, Jeff decided to look into how he could shift gears when dealing with powerful people like Jamie. He suspected the client would also be powerful, considering they were one of Jamie’s clients.
So, how do you hold your own when you’re in a meeting with powerful people?
Four Ways To Feel Confident When Talking to Powerful People
- Do Your Research
- Respect for Self and Others
- Get to the Point
- Focus On Your Work
1. Do Your Research
Do a 360 on your topic, but don’t cram at the last minute; otherwise, you will feel overwhelmed. Instead, break the information into manageable chicks and allocate time to each segment.
Jeff quickly reviewed the Industry SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats). He wanted to take the conversation to another level with the client by understanding the threats and disruption. He missed this in the morning meeting with Jamie and the team.
2. Respect For Self / Others
Keep it Professional at all times. Jeff consciously tried to maintain his professionalism, which he was known for. However, for Thursday’s meeting, it would be showtime for him. Jeff wanted to focus on the tasks rather than getting caught up in personal dynamics.
3. Get to the Point
Communicate Clearly. Jeff wanted to win Jamie over, but before he did that, he’d have to adapt his communication style with Jamie. He wanted to be able to address issues directly and assertively without aggression.
He read somewhere that using inclusive language like ‘we’ for better understanding and collaboration. He’d use “I” statements to express his perspective and learn to listen more to others. This transparent communication helped to clarify misunderstandings and build a foundation for better collaboration.
4. Focus on Your Work
Above all, Jeff remained focused on his own goals and responsibilities. He sought support from Jamie and others when necessary but avoided getting entangled in office politics or gossip. Jeff’s dedication to his work bolstered his confidence and demonstrated his value to the team, making it harder for anyone else to undermine him.
Parting Comments
How did Jeff get on with the client? He nailed it. Jamie was pleased with the client’s feedback. They especially liked how he explained the challenges the client could face if they continued their existing strategy. The presentation was informative.
The client added that they liked Jeff’s style and how he handled the CEO like a consummate professional. Jeff was very knowledgeable and answered all of his challenging questions without faltering.
Looking back on the experience, Jeff was happy Jamie took him aside that morning when she had that pep talk. It changed his approach and attitude, and he learned an invaluable lesson. Jeff knew that to thrive and deal with powerful people like Jamie and her book of clients, he’d need to up his game.
He saw the talk as an opportunity for personal growth, which strengthened his professional skills and personal resilience. Jeff now felt he was ready for the next career stretch.
Thank you for your attention.
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