For Those Feeling Lost In Life

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Life But It’s Okay

I feel lost.

I don’t what I’m doing with my life.

Am I doing the right thing?

Am I on the right path?

Do I have a future?

Have I chosen the right thing?

These are the questions that I have asked myself several times. But I haven’t found any answers.

I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I knew where I was going.

Just this time last year I had a solid plan. Since I was a teenager, I wanted to become a clinical psychologist. I put a lot of effort into exploring this career through work experience when I was in high school.

Then going into university, I was going to finish my bachelor’s in psychology and then pursue my master's in clinical psychology. However, I’ve realized that is not something I want to do anymore.

I thought I was going to be able to help people in the role but it appears to be more research and scientific-based that I am interested in. And if I was being honest with myself, the shine and prestige of being a ‘clinical psychologist’ had lost its lustre.

So now, I have decided to not go down that clinical route. And this has thrown me through a loop. Existential crises galore!

I feel very confused with where my next steps should be. Oftentimes, I am paralysed with indecision. However, these are the things I have been doing to not feel so completely and utterly lost.

1. Don’t Panic

When you feel lost it's easy to spiral into panic mode and think ‘what the heck am I doing with my life?’. You feel like you have lost control of your life.

However, things are always not as bad as they seem.

We seem to think that feeling lost in life is a bad thing but it’s not.

Feeling lost is a good opportunity to find yourself and your direction.

How will you find yourself without being lost first?

Instead, feeling uncertain about your direction is a signal to take action.

2. Don’t be outcome-focused

We have all heard the quote “It's not about the destination, it's about the journey”.

However, it’s easy to become results-orientated rather than process-driven.

I’ve always been very goal-oriented. Knowing that I was working towards a milestone motivated me to keep going. It gave me a purpose.

However, when that goal of being a clinical psychologist no longer interested me, I felt that I didn’t have a reason to be studying psychology anymore.

Why was I even in university now?

What was I going to do after I finished my psychology degree?

Will I be able to get a job with this degree?

And to make matters worse, the majority of the people who did an undergraduate psychology degree said they struggled to find work and eventually went back to do a post-graduate degree (which didn’t interest me at all).

I knew that I didn’t want to go back to school. I was done with studying.

This lead me to become very fixated on the result of what I would get from my degree. I was so caught up in the results of getting an outcome rather than enjoying my time at university.

But since this year will be my last year at university, I want to learn to enjoy my time as a student. The freedom to sleep in, the endless amounts of time I have, and the little responsibilities on my plate. I want to enjoy all these perks before I enter the ‘real world’ aka the workforce.

3. Focus on what you can control

‘If you can control it, why worry? If you can’t control it, why worry? - Unknown’

When you feel lost it's easy to focus on what you can’t control. You ponder on the ‘what ifs’, the things that you could change, and the mistakes you made.

I know I definitely wished that I could go back and do a different degree that was more ‘employable’ like nursing, social work, or even a commerce degree.

However, my dad said that you can’t back and change the past. You made a decision with what information you know back then and you can always change later.

Now you have to focus on what you can do.

Focus on your actions.

What next steps will you take?

Conclusion

Feeling lost is okay.

You will never really figure out what you will do in life but I think that is what makes living exciting. Imagine if you knew your whole life trajectory from birth. Wouldn’t that be boring?

Instead, focus on what you can control and don’t worry about what you can’t. Trust that everything will work out.

“To be lost is as legitimate a part of your process as being found.” — Alex Ebert

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