RACISM

Fashion Is Instant Language

Anybody who isn’t Zuckerberg shouldn’t wear a hoodie

Clothes you shouldn’t be found dead in

Who invented hoodies? They look awful. If I was the parent of a black boy in America, what would I make him wear?

My husband hates this article. He says people should be allowed to wear what they like. Especially in a great country like America.

He said blacks could get shot anyway, whites should change their attitudes.

I said, right now, blacks should change their clothes.

There’ll be plenty of liberty, freedom, equality and fraternity if only people will stay alive first.

So many fashion designers in America, and they make clothes that make people look like bums. The Devil wears Prada indeed. If the hoodie wasn’t bad enough you have bumbags and cargo shorts.

Round neck t-shirts look unappealing. Even v-necks look unappealing. White tank tops are worn by persons who clean drains for a living. They sell for 70c on the footpath in Coimbatore, India.

First get home, then dress down.

On the street, dress better.

Morgan Freeman dresses well. Robert De Niro in The Intern is perfect. Dress like them. They wouldn’t be found dead in those clothes. Wear button down collars. V-neck pullovers. Like test cricketers wear. Or if you must wear a t-shirt, choose a polo neck, one with a collar. Preferably full-sleeved.

Be belligerent inside your body. Dress to the nines on the outside. Overdress and you’ll come across as an insurance salesman. No tie, no tie pin.

Think like the police officer who might beat you, shoot you, choke you. He might hesitate, if you are dressed properly. That hesitation can make the difference between being able to talk him down, or not. Calmly and in perfect grammar.

More on the English later.

Genius Turner is an academician. He’s black, and he’s eloquent. Genius is writing a short article on what to say when a police officer stops you on the street for anything.

Indian Prime Time has ANOTHER black guy being shot by a white police officer. What is it, muscle memory? Reflex action?

What about the Obamas?

Mr. Obama owns a perfectly foul grey hoodie. If he ran in it even he might get shot. What does he think he is? Faster than a bullet? Michelle Obama dresses like a queen. Women are smarter that way. She rebuked a dad at a softball game for carrying a too-small water bottle for his child. Imagine not carrying enough water to a game. Men!

Smell

If you wanted a police officer to like you, what ought you to smell like? In India it would be Mysore Sandal Soap. What smell is familiar to the police officers in America?

The soap your military uses.

The smell will make the officer too happy in his head to take the gun out.

I am very sure you shouldn’t use that repulsive smoky deodorant on your body. You know which one. Citrusy car deodorants are OK.

Alcohol and Cigarettes Smell Like Death

Don’t carry any alcohol or cigarettes in the car. These things stink to high heaven. The officer might shoot you, then you’ll be in heaven before the nicotine or alcohol kill you.

What if the car already smells of alcohol?

If you have had an alcohol-spill in the car, buy fish immediately. Day-old dead fish. Or prawns. The fish will make your car smell so horrible he’ll send you on your way before he takes a second whiff. Then you can get the fish and alcohol smell out like this when you’re safely home.

Hair

If somebody is already dressed in

• a polo neck t-shirt
• sleeveless v-neck pullover
• pair of creased trousers — with two front and two back pockets, no more,
• well-shined shoes and socks,

— the hair shouldn’t matter.

Especially if he smells nice. I’d add a wallet and a handkerchief. You can have anything in life if you dress for it. Doctors wear stifling PPE.

Meanwhile, slap X-ray goggles onto the police. Let them see that everyone’s bones are white, and that their victim has no gun.

Here’s a link from Susan Brearley, Cap’n of the Fleet, MuddyUm, Law of Connections and Contemplate. We new writers learn from the pros. Top Writer is an elite badge she’s worn with panache.