Exploring My Sexy Sources
Pondering what sparked my sexual curiosity
I attended a school reunion a few years ago, a gathering of people I hadn’t seen for many years. The girl I was in my school days was very different from the woman I have become … but I realised the foundations were there when a couple of my old cohort asked me, “Remember those sexy stories you used to write? We all read them and passed them around.” I had forgotten I used to do that — how funny that I have begun writing again on my own blog and for discerning publications on Medium. At the time I was inexperienced but had a good imagination! My audience knew no more real facts than I did, so they were both entertained and titillated by my scribblings, no matter how inaccurate.
My own sexual awakening began reading ‘adult’ passages in books, and I read loads! These too got passed around at school, usually with the corner of the pages where the dirty bits began folded down. I remember the ‘The Fog’ by James Herbert made people act pretty depraved. Harold Robbins’ books were popular as was ‘Lace’ Shirley Conran. A personal favourite of mine was ‘The Virgin Soldiers’ by Leslie Thomas.
My mother was fine with me reading these books, didn’t bat an eyelid when I read Emanuelle by E Arsan so no need to be sneaky about it. I crept into my sibling’s room and borrowed ‘The Story of I’ by Fiona Richmond — what an eye-opener. It’s a parody of The Story of O which probably fired up my early interest in in BDSM and relationships with an imbalance of power.
In my early 20s I progressed to Victorian erotica which I loved it for it’s quaint language (quim and cunny being the popular term for pussy in these stories) and it was jam packed with corsets, stockings, spankings and floggings. The gents are lusty and the girls are saucy and there’s much bedroom hopping, followsed by ‘spending’ and sighing.
My next erotic fiction discovery was the Black Lace books — written for women by women (they made it hard for a male writer to slip under their radar.) These were novels with an entire story- sexy action from beginning, middle to end — their plots were choc full of sexual adventures in a variety of scenarios. I had a particular favourite about a secret sex club where its members partake in all manner of adult displays and private parties. If you ever read my ‘Cleaner Close’ series (on my blog) you can see how it inspired my fantasies.
In more recent times my reading needs have been satisfied by a Kindle. I’m able to download all manner of erotica to read without giving anything away. Erotica can be read on a train or a plane so long as it doesn’t make me squirm in my seat, or pounce on a fellow passenger because I’m overcome with reading-matter induced lust!
From 2018 onwards I made the enlightening discovery of erotica via websites, multitudes of spicy stories in so many different genres, I can stick to what I like or try something new. It’s all so accessible and straightforward that it inspired me to unleash my own dirty fantasies and write again (full circle to school days). Kind feedback from readers encouraged me to set up my own blog with the intention of building a following of my own. I’ve since found a wealth of good writers who share their erotica on the internet, including here on Medium. The other day I was pointed in the direction of this article naming 69 great erotic authors. Of course many more write here, but it was such a sexy number I left well alone.
I’d love folk to share in the comments what sparked their sexual journey
Perhaps it began when you discovered a stash of porn/ dirty magazines (as one of my followers described to me). He now prefers his partners not to shave since those early images of girls with a full bush had a formative effect on his ‘kink’. Shy types of my age group may’ve tried to satisfy their curiosity by looking at the underwear and bikini sections of clothes catalogues. In Outlander, the hero was sure he knew enough about sex from watching farm animals, but was surprised to find (on his wedding night) that copulation was often done face to face.
Final question, as a fellow connoisseur of good erotica, where do you stand on Fifty Shades of Grey? Did you read it at all, or regard it as an eye opener for the slightly sheltered? I had to read the first of the trilogy, there was so much buzz about it, but the scenes were tame compared with what I’m used to reading. I wondered why Anastasia went along with Grey’s kinks if they so puzzled her, or why her end game was to revert him to vanilla.
In my experience, if you start to dabble with dark and enjoy it, you’re unlikely to want to go back entirely. Missionary, with the lights out, at bed-time might seem boring! But perhaps you can tell me what you think about that I have written a chapter in the anthology Discovery describing how I took my own BDSM journey to the next level. Prior to that journey I wrote this piece where I put my thoughts out there for readers to comment, and I got useful, honest feedback.