Curious about Kink
Getting some Sprinkles in my Vanilla Sex Life
My kink journey took the slow scenic route! As a teenager I was convinced I was streaking ahead, trying out self pleasure before my friends (but perhaps only before they were prepared to admit it) I was made curious by all the sexy passages I read in ‘bonkbuster’ books. My reading progressed to more overtly sexual content in novels — at 18 I’d read Emanuelle, Delta of Venus and several volumes of The Pearl (Victorian erotica sourced from underground pamphlets printed in that rather sexually-repressed era).
Two adventurous boyfriends helped me explore — I bought a vibrator, loved sex during my period, also gentle anal probing and sexy adventures in non-bedroom locations. I learned to give good head and enjoyed receiving oral but I have to admit my breasts seemed ornamental rather than ‘participants’ in my saucy play. Although I discovered that, squished together, they gave a fantastic tit wank, when honey got drizzled over my nipples then sucked off, it sadly did nothing for me.
I continued reading erotica [adult books led to on-line novels] always discovering more kinks I was curious to try (latex underwear followed by blindfolds and ball gags for sensory deprivation) pony play with extreme body modification wasn’t such a good fit for my desires. Whenever I’d read something which got me horny I’d test the waters with my OH after browsing online sex sites with a view to purchasing toys to make it happen.
Moving around while wearing a toy internally for stimulation was my initial experiment. The first set of ‘ben wah’ balls I owned were disappointing; I chose ones with external textures that were big and difficult to insert (I hadn’t yet learned the importance of lube). Worse still, they were reminiscent of balls to add softness to clothes in the tumble drier. Smaller, silver coloured balls were more comfortable, but no more successful in the arousal stakes, despite how vigorously I scrubbed the shower or hoovered the carpet while wearing them, my only result, a slightly gooey gusset. But a more ergonomically shaped silicone coated insertable is proving more effective and pleasing.
One particular book stands out in my memory because it whetted my appetite for having a bare pussy and anal play! The story follows the forming of a MMF love triangle which had me throbbing on the edge of my seat.
~an Extract ~
‘…his gaze dropped to the curl-shrouded flesh between her thighs. “You know, Kei, if this sweet pussy were waxed, you could feel even the breeze whispering over your clit, caressing your flesh. Wouldn’t that feel good?”
He blew across her clit, the sensation of even that small caress drawing her to her toes as she fought for something to hold onto. A way to strengthen her legs.
… Her cry shattered through the barnyard as his hand lifted her leg and his head lowered to the saturated flesh between her thighs.”
Having read it, I was determined to follow suit, getting my bikini area waxed totally smooth — I booked a “Hollywood” appointment, took a painkiller (unnecessary I’ve since discovered) and voila! My OH came back from a business trip and I was delighted to show off my new, smooth ‘play area’. His cunnilingus became more enthusiastic and he also enjoyed a clear view of my other new purchase — a black vibrator in body safe silicone (plus USB recharging which was an upgrade from the battery vibe I used to own). Watching it slide in and out of me and taking advantage of its G-spot bend we were both guaranteed a “happy ending.”
Not yet ready for anal sex, but curious, I began to experiment with anal toys — a prober and some silicone butt plugs, the latter is weighted so I can be active while wearing it, yet aware it’s stimulating me as I move. Next progression was to wear the plug while OH used a vibrator or dildo on me, which I found explosively thrilling — it doubles the sensation. The next step may be a larger, firmer butt plug worn during PiV penetration.
By this stage I was reading stacks of BDSM stories online plus accounts from other sex bloggers, so I discovered nipples were an untapped source of pleasure. Accounts of pinching, twisting and trapping them in the bite of pegs or clamps to increase arousal of both partners.
Step 1 for us was being rougher with my OH’s aureola — biting and sucking harder I was rewarded with groans of pleasure and hip thrusts. He was wary to be rough in return, so I ordered nipple rings (which looked like a piercing ring but which pinched the nipple, but not very hard and they fell off! Next I tried 2 sizes of suction bulb used to engorge the nipple with blood, which come with different sized bands which roll onto the nipple and hold it in that state. Sounds fun, but I couldn’t really feel them. The best bit of that kit is the larger sucking bulb which applies delicious suction. I’m still searching for the right style of nipple clamp to torment my breasts but not pinch them off!
On one occasion I spent an entire evening reading erotica, feeling languorous and aroused. When I put my hand up to pinch my nipple hard, I came almost straight away and thereby discovered I could have a nipplegasm. I didn’t actually know it was a ‘thing’ until I was asked to write an article on it — so via Twitter I asked people to DM or e-mail me to discuss the nipplegasms they’d experienced and how they got one. Having now compiled their feedback into this article, it seems that many people of any gender have them. They feel intense, but different from a clitoral/penile orgasm. Increased blood flow to the nipples seems key (think pinching, biting, swatting, ice or clamps) and take your time, it can often require lots of nipple stimulation to achieve an orgasm this way.
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