Living Dangerously
Take My Breath — a catchy up-beat tune, but does it glamorise breath play?
Take my Breath by The Weekend has a catchy tune and the sound is upbeat. It’s clearly about a relationship which I’m guessing is quite a new one. Why? Because she has a kink that he isn’t fully on board with. CW: discusses erotic asphyixiation.
The guy in the song is happy to indulge his girl’s fantasy. He’s aware of her desire to ‘live on the edge’ but he raises concerns when at the height of passion Baby says “take my breath away…” and is willing to “risk it all to feel alive.”
He is not sure he wants their love play to take this direction, doesn’t want the responsibility - and who can blame him? What if it goes wrong? He might press against Baby’s airway too hard or for too long. She’ll need it at a point when he’s lost in his own vortex of pleasure and sensation — he could miss her physical cues and deprive her of oxygen for too long.
This song is about breath play. As prettily wrapped up as it is — the lyrics are about a serious kink which, done badly, can cause brain damage or even kill.
I’m not a prude - as a sex blogger it’s very important not to ‘yuck somebody else’s yum.’ I hadn’t known much about voluntary asphyxiation until I delved into the more extreme erotica and chatted with people on dark Twitter, but it’s popular, particularly with the BDSM crowd. The difference is these folk are often in committed relationships or they go to responsibly run sex clubs or munches. In these environments, they learn each other’s limits and physical cues or there are other people round them (‘cos exhibitionist / voyeur kinks are catered to also!) so potential disaster could be averted.
My concern is that novices will try out breath play on equally inexperienced partners. So much could go wrong.
I was already alarmed by the phenomenon of young heterosexual adults trying anal before PiV sex, simply because it’s so abundantly depicted in porn films. In my vanilla opinion anal is another ‘advanced’ technique which requires expertise and communication to go well for each party.
I’m all for experimentation; once virginity is tossed aside, a person’s appetite to try everything on the ‘sexy menu’ can be voracious if their sexual experiences are positive. I worry that some experiments are more risky than others.
Anecdote : Girl in 20s has a date with guy she’s met through a social site. They don’t really know each other, but their carefully curated cyber selves seemed a great match. The evening goes well enough that they go back to her place or his. Consensual sexual activity gets under way, everyone is enjoying themselves. All of a sudden he puts his hands around her throat and she’s terrified. They haven’t discussed this, she didn’t invite it. She is frightened and locks herself in the bathroom. She doesn’t dare come out because she doesn’t know his true intention. Is he dangerous? Or was he just trying to impress her by acting like Christian Grey?
Moral of the story (and the point I’m trying to make) is: media should refrain from glamorising the more risky sexual practices. Everyone can access everything If it’s on an internet domain — age blocks are hard to enforce, even for content behind a paywall.
The lyrics of The Weekend’s song don’t condone the practice if both parties aren’t on the same page — which is the right attitude when exploring kinks and the more taboo sex acts. I concur, but I’m aware there are people in his audience for whom this track will sow the seed of an idea.
In Dani California the Red Hot Chilli Peppers sing : “I love my baby to death,” but I say, people take care. If you want to play this way, do your research and chose a partner you can trust.
Take My Breath
I saw the fire in your eyes I saw the fire when I look into your eyes You tell me things you wanna try (uh) I know temptation is the devil in disguise You risk it all to feel alive, oh, yeah You’re offering yourself to me like sacrifice You said you do this all the time Tell me you love me if I bring you to the light
It’s like a dream what she feels with me She loves to be on the edge Her fantasy is okay with me Then suddenly, baby says
Take my breath away And make it last forever, babe Do it now or never, babe (ah) Take my breath away Nobody does it better, babe Bring me close to-
Want me to hold on to you tight You pull me close, I feel the heat between your thighs (uh, say) You’re way too young to end your life (huh) Girl, I don’t wanna be the one who pays the price
Ooh, it’s like a dream what she feels with me She loves to be on the edge Her fantasy is okay with me Then suddenly, baby says
Take my breath away And make it last forever, babe Do it now or never, babe (ah) Take my breath away Nobody does it better, babe Bring me close to heaven, babe (uh) Take my breath
Oh, oh-ooh And they’ll see me Oh-ooh, ooh (yeah, say) Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-ooh-oh
Take my breath away (take my breath away) And make it last forever, babe Do it now or never, babe (ah) Take my breath away (take my breath away) Nobody does it better, babe Bring me close to heaven, babe
Take my breath (take my breath a-, breath away) (Nobody) Take my breath (take my breath a-, breath away) Nobody does it better, babe Bring me close to heaven, babe (uh) Take my breath
Songwriters: Max Martin / Ahmad Balshe / Abel Tesfaye / Oscar Holter
Shared for #WickedWednesday & tagging Christopher Robin in Song Stories