Don’t Take it Lying Down
C.W. Discusses gaslighting, negative thought processes, loving yourself
The song Lying Down by Celine Dion — is not my usual vibe (I’m not the biggest fan of ballads) but heavy topics can’t be dealt with in an up-beat way. Celine sings about finding strength when someone / something has been holding you down, making you doubt yourself, and the lyrics got me thinking.
It’s great when we have friends or family to support us, to provide a boost when something makes us feel bad, inadequate or criticised — but not everybody has that. Those who have been seriously ‘gaslighted’ wouldn’t even believe friends’ uplifting words, they’re so weighed down and influenced by the negativity which is fed to them on a regular basis.
Many of us are great at forming a support networks but we can be tough on each other too, judging harshly and critiquing each other for our appearance, our behaviour, our level of education, even our commitment to work.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy taught me an important technique to halt self criticism: block yourself from entertaining critical thoughts about others. This technique means we are more likely to pull ourselves up short whenever our subconscious tries to be harsh on us.
Heed Celine’s words, don’t take things lying down, stand up for yourself.
Use your legs to walk away from negative people, build others up instead of pulling them down. Strength comes from within and we need to work on our inner core of self belief. Loving ourselves helps us deal with whatever life throws at us — drama, disappointments, discord — all these things will seem less harsh with the passage of time.
Let’s be gentle, let’s be kind but let’s not waste our time or energy on those who don’t appreciate how awesome we are! Anyone who is trying to make us fit into their “box” of how to act, how to look, who to be friends with etc. is likely doing us no favours, rather they are trying to make themselves appear better than they are.
Lying Down
Oh, I didn’t mean to fall in deep But I’ve no regrets You tried to push me down, you tried to keep me possessed I gave you my heart, you took the key But now I paid my debt It’s time I left
And I don’t need someone who makes me feel so bad And I’ve just enough left to help me pack my bags Yes, I have found something I thought I lost I found me, I found faith, I found trust
You can’t take this from me Can’t you see I won’t take this lying down? And I can’t hear you when you speak your poison Bitter words can’t hurt me now, I won’t take it lying down
All it takes is one bold move to change everything All it takes is loving you to forget, forgive But I’m having some kind of breakthrough I’m ready to live
And I don’t need someone who makes me feel so bad And I’ve just enough left to help me pack my bags Yes, I have found something I thought I lost I found me, I found faith, I found trust
You can’t take this from me Can’t you see I won’t take this lying down? And I can’t hear you when you speak your poison Bitter words can’t hurt me now, I won’t take it lying down
I won’t take it lying down I won’t take it lying down I won’t take it lying down I won’t take it lying down
You can’t take this from me Can’t you see I won’t take this lying down And I can’t hear you when you speak your poison Bitter words can’t hurt me now, I won’t take it lying down
I won’t take it lying down I won’t take it lying down I won’t take it lying down I won’t take it lying down
I’ve known people who become a ‘shell’ of their true self because they are with someone who puts them down — they aren’t good enough, their views are worthless, nobody really likes them. A certain kind of person uses constant negativity to make themself feel ‘big’ by making their partner feel small.
One member of my immediate family was gaslighted . They stopped dressing how they wanted because their partner didn’t like them drawing attention to themselves, didn’t dare change jobs because they were made to feel they would never get anything better — this person bloomed massively once they got up the courage to split from their ‘gaslighting’ partner. I’m pleased they did not take the constant criticism lying down and instead took back their dignity and walked away.
An incredibly courageous move.
“Lying Down” is a song recorded by Canadian singer Celine Dion for her twelfth English-language studio album, Courage (2019). It was written by David Guetta, Giorgio Tuinfort and Sia, and produced by Guetta and Tuinfort. “Lying Down” was released as a digital download on 18 September 2019.
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