Everything Appears to be Falling Apart Before It Begins to Come Together.

If you’re in a tough stop, don’t worry. This, too, shall pass.

About two years ago, I felt like my entire life was falling apart.

I had recently met my boyfriend, but I won’t lie. We were pretty toxic initially, and that didn’t settle well with my friends then.

I was distancing myself from the family members I lived with at the time because I was changing and evolving (I had been on a personal development journey for almost three years), which made me realize that they weren’t and didn’t want to grow.

I was also in a tough spot career-wise — I had been laid off earlier in the year (at the start of 2021), which I was happy about because that job was terrible.

I was part of an MLM (Multilevel Marketing Company). Still, I wasn’t doing anything with it, even though I had access to coaching and mentoring to help me get that business off the ground.

I was a hot mess with no idea where to go or what to do.

Thankfully, some things started changing, and I will forever be grateful to God for giving me opportunities to move forward again.

There’s always a valley before you get to start climbing the mountain.

This is God rearranging things so you can start moving into the next season of your life (only if you’ve asked him for it).

I remember I was feeling tired and mad, but mostly at myself. At the same time, I had no drive or motivation to get myself moving again.

It wasn’t until God gave me an interesting opportunity that the wheels began to turn again and little by little, I began working towards a goal again.

This was when I started bartending. I was approached by one of the owners of a local bar I used to go to constantly, and he offered me the job. I told him I was willing to learn but was a complete newbie.

He said that wasn’t a problem and would get someone to teach me everything I needed to know.

Fast-forward to today, I’ve been bartending full-time since the summer of 2022, and I’m very grateful for it because it doesn’t make me hate my life.

I don’t think people realize how much of a difference this makes.

I used to have a soul-sucking office job that made me feel like I was compromising myself and my beliefs every single day.

Bartending doesn’t do this for me.

I don’t hate it (I don’t love it either), and that’s a good neutral place to be in because your mind is not occupied by the constant dislike or hatred you feel towards what you do for a living.

This was a significant turning point in my life. For once, I had the mental energy to focus on other things. Other ideas, hopes, wishes, goals, dreams.

Before bartending, I walked aimlessly in a valley, wondering when I would make it anywhere close to the shore so I could finally start climbing my mountain.

Thankfully, God got me through it and gave me the opportunity to start climbing.

We learn the most important lessons during the hard times.

Despite how difficult and draining the valley was (recently, after I started bartending, many things happened that turned my life upside down), I learned some important lessons during those difficult times.

I wouldn’t be who I am today and have the beliefs I have now if I hadn’t lived through those moments.

As much as they sucked, they also allowed me to dig deep within myself and ask myself what it was that I genuinely wanted.

What kind of life did I want to live? What kind of person did I want to be?

What is it that truly matters to me?

These big life questions were answered during these challenging times.

And for that, I will always be thankful because answering those questions gave me direction and clarity.

This is why so many of us are wandering, unsure where to go or what to do.

We’re wandering and wondering because we’re unsure who we are and what we genuinely want for ourselves and our lives.

But this is why you shouldn’t fear the valleys and the difficult moments in your life.

They bring clarity.

We only learn to make the hard choices during times of trial.

At the same time that we’re learning important life lessons, we’re also learning how to make difficult choices.

We learn how to move on from people and places that, although we love and care for, we need to separate ourselves from to continue growing and improving.

This is the reason why changing and improving your life is so difficult — not everyone will be happy about your change, and not everyone will want to come with you. Very few people will if not none.

This is why I felt like my life was falling apart in the past.

I had multiple fallouts with friends and family who just couldn’t understand what I wanted and where that was taking me.

To them, it looked like I was making mistakes. And to a certain extent, I was.

But you must make mistakes and take risks to see what can work. To learn, to earn your confidence, learn skills, build discipline and stamina, etc.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t come to an understanding or agreement, and I had to separate myself completely from a lot of the people I knew and lived with at that time.

It was painful. It was a very difficult decision to make. And I don’t mean in terms of figuring out the answer.

The answer was simple. As I said earlier, hard times bring clarity. I knew I had to separate myself from my old life if I wanted a new and better one.

I didn’t know how I could or would do it.

This is when God stepped in and made way for me to continue forward — when I found my beautiful apartment a matter of days after deciding to move out.

I felt like I was getting confirmation from God that I made the right decision—a very difficult one, but still the right one.

Don’t be afraid of the valley. If you are in one, ask yourself these difficult questions and look for clarity and a deeper understanding of who you are, who you want to be, and where that person would like to go.

This, too, shall pass, and you’ll find yourself in a much better place afterward.

God is looking out for you, too.