avatarAngelica Mendez

Summary

The author discusses the challenges of overcoming an all-or-nothing mentality while balancing multiple side hustles and the importance of self-grace and realistic expectations.

Abstract

The author reflects on the struggle with an all-or-nothing approach to productivity, particularly while managing a writing career and a YouTube channel. They acknowledge the difficulty of maintaining high expectations for themselves, especially considering the human need for rest and the variability of personal performance due to factors like menstrual cycles. The author emphasizes the necessity of self-compassion and the acceptance of imperfection, advocating for a mindset shift from perfection to progress. They share personal experiences with anxiety and the pressure to perform perfectly, while also highlighting the benefits of taking breaks and adjusting goals. The article concludes with the author's commitment to personal growth, a better mindset, and extending grace to both themselves and others.

Opinions

  • The all-or-nothing mentality is impractical and doesn't account for human imperfection and the need for rest.
  • Expecting consistent peak performance is unrealistic, and it's important to recognize and adapt to different life seasons and challenges.
  • Self-imposed high expectations can lead to anxiety and a sense of failure if not met, which is why self-grace is crucial.
  • It's okay to take more time or to take breaks when needed, and this doesn't equate to failure.
  • Progress, not perfection, should be the goal, and acknowledging any step forward is valuable.
  • People should be patient with their growth process and not rush it, as emotional and spiritual development takes time.
  • It's important to have realistic expectations of others and understand that everyone's "best" is different and influenced by their own choices and growth.
  • Extending grace to oneself and others is essential for a healthier mindset and interpersonal relationships.

It’s NEVER All In or Nothing.

The all-in-or-nothing mentality is one of my biggest challenges to conquer.

Photo by Elimende Inagella on Unsplash

And I’m sure it’s also a challenge for many of us who know the potential and drive we have inside of us.

This week, I’ve been struggling with writing, and that’s because I’ve been prioritizing getting back on YouTube.

I’m currently working on my fourth video (hurray!), but of course, that takes time away from coming up with writing topics and ideas for Medium.

Usually, I have an outline prepared for what I’m going to write about the next day, but I’ve noticed recently I haven’t been making the effort to do that.

At the same time, I’m maintaining very high expectations of myself to get it all done seamlessly.

And I’m surprised and happy with myself for being able to maintain two side hustles thus far; the problem is, I think I need to do it all perfectly. Otherwise, it doesn’t count.

This is when we all need to reevaluate our minds and our thoughts.

The all-or-nothing mentality is completely unrealistic. It leaves no room for error, which doesn’t work for us humans because we’re imperfect.

We go through different seasons with different challenges.

To top that off, I’m a woman who has a cycle, and that is another factor that significantly impacts my day to day.

Expecting to perform at the same level every single day is unrealistic — we’re not machines.

It is important to make an effort, but some days, the effort is simply getting up, getting whatever is absolutely necessary done, and rescheduling the rest.

Today isn’t one of those days for me, but to a certain extent, I need to prioritize some things over others because I don’t have much time to finish everything.

I have a double shift at work, which means I only have a few hours to write, get myself ready, and meal prep for the day.

Some people would say, ‘Get up earlier,’ but I’ve never believed forsaking proper rest actually moves you forward.

If anything, it’s a two-steps forward, three-steps back kind of thing.

Going to work already tired doesn’t sound like a good idea.

But I digress.

My point is that we need to learn to have grace with ourselves through the process of doing more and challenging ourselves.

As I mentioned before, I recently added uploading YouTube videos to my routine. Although things are going well on that end, I’ve yet to solidify a great routine that allows me to write, film, and edit.

I’m in the process of finding it, but I’m struggling to give myself grace during this time.

As I write this, I’m feeling anxious, trying to see if I can get this blog published before I go to work.

I’m anxious because I don’t know if my writing makes any sense or if it will even matter to you!

Hopefully, it will.

Update — I didn't have enough time to finish writing this blog yesterday (Friday), so here I am today.

I gave myself the rest I needed this morning after last night's double shift, and I feel much better. Less anxious and stressed about writing.

I also gave myself a pep-talk. It’s okay if I write eighteen or nineteen blogs this month instead of twenty as I had planned.

I still pushed myself. I still continued on despite the challenges and obstacles. I didn’t give up, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s all that matters — progress, not perfection.

So, if you’re struggling with feeling like if it’s not done to perfection, then the whole thing is a waste of energy and time, remember that’s not realistic.

And it’s okay to take a little more time than you need or to take a break, rest, and later get back to it.

One of my goals for 2024 is to transform my life, and I mean that in various aspects.

I want to continue growing and changing as a person.

I want to have a better mindset, be kinder, softer, more patient, and have more grace towards myself and others.

I’ve noticed that the all-or-nothing mentality also sets you up to fail by creating unrealistic expectations of other people.

And that’s a terrible place to be in.

Constantly feeling let down and disappointed because you think other people didn’t do their best.

I believe most people are doing their best for where they may be in life.

Unfortunately, some people don’t care to grow emotionally and spiritually, so their best seems mediocre to you, but that’s their best, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, including you.

This is why grace is so important.

I’ve had people in my life disappoint me because I believed in their potential so much and thought that my believing in them was enough.

Turns out, that’s not how it works.

People will only step up to the plate and do better when they choose to.

The same goes for us, we can only step up and do better, and start having grace with ourselves when we choose to.

It’s time to choose grace, understanding, and patience with ourselves rather than have the all-or-nothing mindset drive us crazy.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, and I will see you in the next one!

Mindset
Change
Growth
Grace
Patience
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