Empower Yourself By Recognizing Your Triggers
Learn to identify them so peace and joy can find their way back to you.
It’s not the problems we face — it’s how we face the problems, and if we have the courage to face the problems head-on, we will find there are no problems — only solutions. -Mary White
One minute you’re living life, feeling great, and having fun. The next minute you see something or someone says something and bam! It’s all over.
You’re inexplicably nervous, crying over nothing, or enraged for what seems like no reason.
When this happens, you feel ashamed, worried that people might think you’re emotionally unstable. You might feel broken like nobody could ever love you.
But these episodes might not be your fault.
You could be getting triggered.
Like an invisible time machine that takes you directly back to your trauma, triggering can happen without warning.
Even unremembered injuries can come back to haunt you. I understand how traumatic getting triggered can feel because it’s something that affects me personally.
When I was younger, I thought I was going crazy.
Then, my therapist had me read up on PTSD. Suddenly, my life made sense.
The terrifying and confusing episodes that made me feel totally out of control suddenly had context. I could forgive myself and slough off some of the shame I’d been carrying.
If you get triggered, you’re not insane. It’s more likely that you’ve been damaged, hurt, or traumatized. Possibly your emotional wounds have gone unacknowledged and unhealed.
In my first year of University, at the bar one night with friends, I was struck with an unbearable wave of grief. I ran into the bathroom and began weeping.
I thought I was losing my mind.
Everybody else was partying, and I was having a nervous breakdown in the bathroom. I felt like an idiot. I was so ashamed. It took a while, but I eventually pulled myself back together enough to spend the rest of the night drinking myself into oblivion.
Events like that happened to me often and I would either get over emotional or I would disassociate.
Years later, in therapy, I managed to unravel what was occurring during those episodes.
When I was growing up, I had a sibling whose coping mechanism was to take her issues out on me. She constantly bullied me. I understand now that’s the only way she knew how to cope but it doesn’t erase the damage done to me. She had to be best, and there was no room in that spotlight for anyone else, so if things got too good for me, she made sure I regretted it.
Lashing out at me gave her relief, so she did it often.
I can remember specific incidents that changed my brain and my emotional make-up. I remember feeling in real-time the trauma of her actions altering me.
A lot of my triggering revolves around these childhood incidents.
My sibling wasn’t the only person who traumatized me in childhood so I had multiple triggers I was dealing with.
When I was a waitress, in my 20’s, I got a table of college-aged guys to serve. They were old enough to drink but probably not much older.
Serving them sent me into a serious flashback to the boys who terrorized me in middle school and then even farther back the teenager across the street who sexually abused me when I was about four.
When I went to the table, I couldn’t talk to them. I stuttered and must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I became paralyzed with fear.
I broke out in a cold sweat and had to go into the bathroom to settle down. I broke down in tears. I was so afraid.
I had to pass the table off to someone else.
Being frequently triggered and continually trying to cope with the fallout of my life was exhausting. I had frequent bouts of depression and thoughts of suicide.
Beware though, triggers can be subtle and in the heat of the moment, you might not even realize it’s happening.
It can be a smell, a place, or even a time of year that makes you feel unhinged. Learning to recognize them is a good first step towards managing them.
Practicing mindfulness can be useful. Being able to step back at the moment and say to yourself, “What is going on here?” can help you start to gain control. Tapping or EFT is another useful technique for coping. It’s my go-to when I have difficulty getting grounded.
Getting triggered can happen anywhere to anyone. The first step to figuring it out is to notice when it happens and why.
Always seek professional help if you can, but if you can’t a trigger journal might help.
Try writing down your unexplainable emotional reactions.
Work past your shame and doubt. Just write down the facts. Write down the who’s, what’s, when’s, where’s, they will lead you to the why.
Try to become aware of when you feel your emotions getting out of control. Write down when it occurs, who you were with, and the situation at the time.
Having a written account can help you be objective and analytical. Maybe there’s a pattern, a person or type of person who triggers you.
Sometimes recognizing a problem is the first step towards finding a solution.
The important thing if this is happening to you is, don’t think you’re crazy.
Lots of good people have emotional issues that overwhelm their lives. It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or beyond redemption. It just means you have a problem to tackle.
Take control of what you can and try to figure out what triggers you. That way you can start to work on a solution.
Armed with information, you can learn to cope. Coping better will create space in your life, and allow joy and peace to find their way back into your heart.
***This is not a substitute for your doctor’s diagnosis. If you’re already on a mental health plan with a professional stay on your prescribed course. If you feel like you’re in crisis, make sure you get professional help. This article is meant to enlighten and give you some insight, it’s not a treatment or diagnosis.***
Thanks so much for reading!
If you or someone you know wants to explore the world of daily journaling with purpose in a lighthearted, fun way you might want to check out my book on Amazon called: How To Be Wise AF: A 30-day journalling adventure to your inner Guru
Also, don’t forget to check out more great writers on Illumination. Or better yet, share your voice, experience, and wisdom and come on board as a writer, you’re always welcome at Illumination!
If you’d like to read more articles by me, please check these out: