Eckhart Tolle’s Epiphany Is A Lesson About Who We Really Are
There are two of you. Is the real “you” with me?
“I cannot live with myself any longer.”
“I’m so angry at myself.”
“I let myself down.”
Have you ever said any version of these statements to yourself?
If you reread these statements, it could imply that there must be two people: the “I” and the “self” that the “I” cannot live with, is angry with, and is disappointed by.
This is the story of Eckhart Tolle’s astonishing epiphany and spiritual awakening.
Way before he became a modern-day spiritual guru, Eckhart suffered from depression, and one night he woke up feeling so awful that he pondered suicide.
He thought to himself, “I cannot live with myself any longer”, which he recounted in his brilliant book “The Power of Now.”
“Suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. ‘Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the ‘I’ and the ‘self.’ ‘Maybe,’ I thought, ‘only one of them is real.’”
This realization changed his life forever. He spent the next two years sitting on park benches, watching the world blissfully go by.
The power of this story captures the two parts that make up our “self”: the egoic self and the true self.
The egoic self is our mind.
It’s the part of ourselves run by our mental chatter: the constant flood of thoughts like “I’m not good enough, attractive enough, talented enough.” Or “I’m the best.” “I’m smarter than them.”
The true self is who we really are.
It’s the conscious you. It’s the “you” that exists in the present moment when you are not being controlled by your egoic self. It’s what Eckart Tolle calls pure beingness or the formless, the place where truth, peace, and joy resides.
All of our desires, goals, and things we want in life emanate from both of these selves. Each stake a claim in everything we do but for different reasons.
For instance, my egoic self is motivated to write these posts to stand apart — for the acknowledgment and validation it craves from others.
While the only intention of my true self is to experience the act of writing and witness what that feels like — to be present with my thoughts and feelings, find clarity in them, and encounter wisdom and greater understanding.
Of course, our intentions for any given desire can run deep, but on a fundamental level, these two selves are behind everything we do.
Where we get into problems in life and encounter suffering is when we are controlled by our egoic self and latch onto it as the essence of who we really are. As a result, we think, feel, and act based largely on self-preservation — seeking to keep this illusion of our identity intact and well-regarded.
Instead, we need our egoic self and true self to coexist; we need yin and yang behind all our desires.
Taming Our Egoic Self
While we will never destroy our ego, we must work to see past it and not allow it to bulldoze our lives. Unfortunately, there’s no magic elixir for this.
And while the answer isn’t all that profound, it always comes down to awareness. It’s the ability to recognize when your egoic self has surfaced and is seeking to cause havoc.
Here are some ways to cultivate this type of awareness.
- For any desire or urge you have, and every time you are frustrated, angry, or not getting what you want, always ask yourself: What is the underlying need here driving these feelings?
- Don’t trust your mind. Literally, don’t believe a word it tells you. Start questioning every thought you have especially when you are upset or in any tense situation. This is where the illusion comes in.
- Instead of identifying with your mind, get into your body. Emotions are the body’s language. Can you identify where feelings like anger and frustration live in your body?
However, the only way to truly sustain the type of awareness is through a daily meditation practice. The practice of raw stillness is the best tool we have to elevate our consciousness and become more present.
In short, daily meditation helps us develop freedom and conscious choice. And to see beyond our egoic self, we have to be able to choose what to do with our minds, instead of our minds choosing for us.
Ultimately when we do this we reduce and dare I say eliminate suffering.
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