‘Eat Bitterness’ — Learning To Be Resilient in The 21st Century

President Xi Jinping says the youth of China should learn to “eat bitterness”. Please don’t be mad at me, but there’s some truth in that. A healthy dose of being in the trenches will teach you no textbook ever will.

Work To Live Or Live to Work?

In a separate BBC article, I came across a World Values Survey stating that 73% of Brits say that work is essential or significant compared to Italy and Spain, 96%, and France, 94%. Interestingly, the Philippines came in at 99%.

I’m not saying young people should do what their Parents’ generation did: work hard, be away from home for long hours, and worry about their future. I’m saying that all aged Group people would benefit from dealing with what Gary Vaynerchuck says: ‘Clouds and the Grit’.

For me, the clouds are your goals and ambitions, and the grit is the hard work that goes into making the dream a reality. Gary says the clouds and the grit mindset got him to where he is today.

Gen Z and Lazy Jobs

I first came across the ‘Lazy Girl’ concept on TikTok and have keenly followed this latest trend. Sounds appealing. Doing the 9–5 job for a comfortable salary and maximum benefits. Employers could lean into this argument. Why? It might help them to deal with a prevalent burnout culture pervading many companies.

I hear President Xi Jinping’s words, but I’m afraid I have to disagree with him here. Why? I believe the young professionals are onto something. They’re not buying into the workaholic culture that was bought into by previous generations. The young professionals are ambitious but want to work in a way that suits their expectations.

Different Priorities

Many of these young professionals probably saw their Parent’s generation trying to juggle multiple demands on their time whilst having very little time for themselves.

They also noted that other professionals, like Gen X and Gen Z, do not have a healthy work-life balance.

Collectively, we’ve seen burnout rates increase significantly. We’ve seen stress caused by employees dealing with a ‘Shipwreck Career’ due to changes in the workplace.

Who wants that sort of stress? Not the Lazy Girl Jobs Brigade. I support this movement because I believe there needs to be a happy balance between work and life. However, it doesn’t mean you must give up all the pleasures. It means working smarter in the 21st Century.

Healthy Boundaries

I believe it’s essential to manage your expectations. Only you know your life/finances better than anyone else, so you need to be the one calling the shots, right? You’d be surprised how many don’t, though.

The ‘unhappy brigade’ plod along, hoping someone will come and wave a magic wand and make everything better. They won’t, though. If you’re not happy, do something about it because, like it or not, no one is coming to rescue you. The onus is on you.

Dealing Rejection

Here’s where I agree with President Jinping about ‘eating bitterness’. I believe we could all benefit from a healthy dose of rejection. Rejection has served me well since becoming an Executive Coach, especially when I co-founded a Start-Up.

I learned a lot from daily rejection, and the lessons still serve me even to this day. Therefore, rejection is a good camp because a healthy dose of rejection is good for you. Let me tell you about Jia Jiang.

Jia Jiang

Jia’s fear of rejection was rooted in his childhood experiences at school. He distinctively remembers one experience at school that dented his confidence for decades. His classmates were asked to complement one another, and the class was silent when it came to his turn.

Even in his 30s, as a marketing manager, he dreamed of creating apps. However, he didn’t get the project off the ground because he didn’t want to deal with his pitches being rejected.

Jia decided to do something about it and researched online. He came across Jason Comely, a Canadian entrepreneur’s rejection therapy website. He took the process one step further and created his path to healing and dealing with rejection. Jia decided to embark on 100 days of rejections.

What did he learn from this experience? He gained confidence and overcame the anxiety associated with being rejected. He also said that you will never know if you don’t ask.

On day three of his experiment, he walked into Krispy Kreme and requested a doughnut in the shape of the Olympic Rings. He was expecting an immediate rejection, but on this occasion, the Customer Service Representative, Jackie, decided to draw the doughnut and, within 15 minutes, made one for Jia and gave it to him free of charge.

Jia shared this online; on the back of this, it was featured on Reddit and received millions of views. He got a lot of press, which led to a book and his TED talk. Watch it here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFWyseydTkQ

Resilience Building

Resilience is a crucial trait when navigating life’s ups and downs. Remember that setbacks are temporary and don’t define your entire journey. Take a step back and reflect on the experience. What did you learn from this closed door?

Every setback has valuable lessons hidden within. Analyse what worked and didn’t, and use that knowledge to shape your plans. Learn to bounce back, adapt, and persevere. Believe in your ability to overcome obstacles and find new doors waiting to be opened.

Take calculated risks: Don’t be afraid to take risks and explore uncharted territory. Sometimes, trying something different is the key to finding a new opportunity. Be open to new experiences, challenge yourself, and don’t let fear hold you back. Extraordinary achievements often require stepping outside of your comfort zone.

New Opportunities

Sometimes, when one door closes, we become so fixated on that path that we overlook other opportunities. Step back and widen your perspective. Look for new possibilities and avenues you may not have considered before. You might be surprised by what you find.

When one door closes, your job is to find the key to another door and another until you manage to open a door. It’s the way you look at each rejection. If you see rejection as one door closing, and that’s it, you will operate from a fixed mindset. Instead, change your internal narrative and learn to think that another ten will open. How do you do this? You must be willing to be flexible and keep an open mind.

What happens if you still can’t open any doors? Or you find you’ve got a foot in, but that’s it? Perseverance is key. The process is long, so it’s essential to treat it like a marathon and not a sprint. Those who want fast results will find they’ll burn out quickly.

Tips

• Don’t overthink
• Work through the emotions because they have meant invaluable insights for you.
• Take your time
• Stay calm
• Write it out if that helps. Look for the learning in each setback.
• Adopt a positive outlook
• Think win/win

Call To Action Exercise

Take one recent rejection. Work through these questions:

• What was the rejection?
• How did this rejection make you feel?
• How did you handle it?
• What did you learn from this experience?
• If you were to experience this again, how would you handle it?

Parting Comments

You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you handle the situations you find yourself in. We can all benefit from GaryV’s ‘Cloud and Dirt’ philosophy. I believe the clouds give us the opportunities to explore our goals, and grit will give us the tools and learning to help us deal with an uncertain future.

I also believe we shouldn’t shy away from rejections. Why? Each rejection is an opportunity to learn, grow and move on. One thing to remember during this process is that the words you use are very important. Why? Words are powerful.

There’s a big difference between ‘I don’t know what I should do’ and ‘I’ll figure this out. The first statement gives away power, and the second gives you energy. When you adopt a solutions mindset, you will be more successful in dealing with the emotions and the potential impact.

Thank you for your attention.

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Pervin

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