Don’t Let the Haters Dim Your Magic

Some of us are born magnetizing positive energy, others of us need to fight to prove our magic

As a woman, having magnetic energy inherently becomes problematized in society. If a woman capitalizes on her femininity, her allure, and her magic, she faces being simultaneously put on a pedestal and diminished or otherwise dismissed for being too“superficial.” If a woman is too sexy, her intelligence is put into question.

If a woman is too plain, too heavy, too tomboyish, she becomes desexualized in the eyes of the larger heteronormative culture.

Me, I’ve always towed the line, fluctuating between awkward tomboy to shy, ultra-femme but still disheveled, awkward, artsy, and otherwise unconventional. Being someone who cannot fit in the conventional mold makes you both “othered” and alluring.

Oftentimes, people we perceive as haters may actually be envious, curious, simply unable to process us, indifferent, and so on. How others perceive us is not our problem. When you rise in your power, you realize that what ultimately matters is your own level of self-perception and self-love. When you learn to love yourself and not dim yourself for others, all of your quirks and idiosyncracies become loving clues that enhance your individual inner-beauty.

I believe, as a woman myself, that women are more subject to physical scrutiny, to hasty judgements made about our value, our worth, our intelligence, and so on, than men are, based off of an initial superficial impression. Men are allowed to be more lax with themselves; but does this ultimately serve them? I think the ingrained entitlement of men actually does them a disservice.

Humility, mindfulness, and generosity go a long way. Conversely, it takes maturity to learn to not take it personally when someone acts in a manner not mindful or respectful toward you. And it takes responsibility and discernment to be conscious of who we allow into our personal sphere.

When both men and women are held to increasingly impossible superficial standards, and we must claw our ways to not only survive, but to thrive, to find success but also balance. Women: let us never forget that men need us for our softness. But we as women need to ensure the relationships ultimately serve us.

Women are taught to be humble, to make ourselves small, to be subservient, to be feminists but also homemakers. Men may face more pressure to be the primary breadwinners, but in no way do they systematically face having to reconcile career and parenthood in the way that women do. Men have never societally struggled with the notion of “having it all” in the way that women do.

So to the women especially, please wake up to your inner calling. Do what feeds your inner fire, what keeps your light shining, whatever helps you keep your sense of magic alive. It is not frivolous to capitalize on your beauty in the same way it is not frivolous to capitalize on your ambitions or your intellect. Intellect and beauty need not be opposed. Let us be proud to shine our whole selves.

It is fundamentally our own individual responsibility to forge the lives we want: so we must throw out societal expectations (unless we can use them and harness them in a way that behooves us) and fashion our lives as truest to our inner sense of purpose as possible. We must learn to trust our intuition and to live a heart-centered path. We must fight for our work to be valued as such. When men and women do service-oriented work, those services need to be economically valued. Let us continue to raise each other’s vibrations, to help assist each other and ourselves with healing in a more collective manner, on a larger societal scale.

Healing and living an authentic life is the ultimate act of rebellion. It is time for us to support each other living authentically, connected to our hearts and our spirit, to ourselves and each other. We must wake up to the call of nature and begin living more balanced lives, paying heed to the demands of nature and our bodies and learning to live lives more in sync with nature’s ways.

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