Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

u ever cleaned a baby’s diaper?I sleep 15 hours a night because I don’t have any screaming brats to wake me up.What do I do on my weekends? Anything I want, because I’m not taking anybody to little league or birthday parties.I might just sit on the couch all day and re-watch Game of Thrones. Because I can. There’s literally no one to stop me.But back to earth: you have to have that giant SUV because you need to drive your whole family to the dentist. I have a small SUV, that is a hybrid, because I don’t have to drive anybody. Plus I never go to the dentist.You have to buy all those baby clothes that are going to be too small in three weeks. Where do you think they come from? Wait, where do clothes come from, trees? Let’s say trees.There’s probably a 50 square mile hole of clear cut in the rainforest for every rugrat you’ve ever had. You should go down there and see the plaque that says, “This Portion of Jungle Used for Kyle’s Grranimals.” It’s made out of jaguar bones.<figure id="f37e"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*bk1VtW8HZuS8vNrfjU7KEQ.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@royaannmiller?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">roya ann miller</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/deforestation?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a>. You should be ashamed of yourselves.</figcaption></figure>I’m not here to nag or disparage, I’m here to help. I’m here to solve the problem of overpopulation and climate change. Yes, we can do that with this one blog post I have written.Don’t have kids. There’s enough kids. Just don’t do it.You want something to love you? Adopt a cat.Things not working out in your marriage? Go to couples counseling.You feel empty inside? Work on yourself. Volunteer.So that problem’s solved, but what if you already have a kid? I mean, it’s not like you can just kill them, right? No, I am seriously asking.So if you are not ready to kill your kids, the only answer is to not have any unless somebody invents a time machine or we colonize Mars.<div id="e86e" class="link-block"> <a href="https://ericfilipkowski.medium.com/membership"> <div>

Options

         <div>
            <h2>Join Medium with my referral link - Eric Filipkowski</h2>
            <div><h3>I know the last thing you need is another subscription, but this one supports writers! Your membership fee directly…</h3></div>
            <div><p>ericfilipkowski.medium.com</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*QcChhxIsDQQSXbBt)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><div id="d1b8" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/8-things-i-learned-from-a-month-of-blindness-3bbb0a047064">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>8 Things I Learned From a Month of Blindness</h2>
            <div><h3>“I couldn’t see real good!”</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*a9jmFcYW4r_uW81116qr2Q.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><div id="80a0" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-hate-vinegar-88861ba1f4ff">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>I Hate Vinegar</h2>
            <div><h3>You should too</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*g2lFo6lfLyuO2BqwnTyVWA.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><div id="4792" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://ericfilipkowski.medium.com/my-wife-the-computer-1eb6ee7a6de7">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>My wife the computer</h2>
            <div><h3>A love story</h3></div>
            <div><p>ericfilipkowski.medium.com</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*BalDu6Ls7-pN_y7PUPdaDw.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><figure id="6d55"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*PblumFWQRBlGV0pltHY0Sw.png"><figcaption>Brand Art courtesy of <a href="https://davidtoddmccarty.medium.com/">David Todd McCarty</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

A manifesto

Don’t Have Kids

The earth is full

Look, if I could give up the undeniable convenience and rich flavor of Keurig K-Cups, the least you could do is not have a kid.

Every night, I have to clean out my coffee pot, fill up my machine with water and pour fresh grounds into a new filter, because I am unwilling or unable to do it in the morning. I used to just pull out a K-Cup, pop it in and turn the machine on, but I get sick and tired of everybody harping about the “damage I was doing to the poor earth.”

So yeah, it’s safe to say I’m doing my part. Now it’s your turn.

Look, I get it. You want a kid. They’re cute and you can make them do whatever you want. But the thing is, kids grow up.

The earth currently has just under 8 billion kids and former kids (adults.)

And this is my point: there are too many of us. We weigh too much and the earth is going to sink or global warming or something.

Consider this: you think you are having a ‘kid.’ But what you’re actually having is a kid who will then turn into an adult.

We can agree that we all hate adults and other people, right? We can all agree there is way too much of them, right?

So you’re really only having a ‘kid’ for like 8 years. Then they turn into teenagers who hate you (awful, right?) and then they go to college where they still hate you and don’t want to call you and waste hundreds of thousands of dollars of your money!

Photo by author. Cute, right? In 20 years he turns into me!

Do you remember that book, The Giving Tree? As far as I can tell, that’s the most realistic depiction of what it’s like to be a parent except when your adult children cut you down for firewood, they will also take a shit on your stump and tell you that you are the reason they aren’t more successful.

No thanks, right?

“Well I’ll still have 8 good years, right?”

Slow your roll, bro. You ever cleaned a baby’s diaper?

I sleep 15 hours a night because I don’t have any screaming brats to wake me up.

What do I do on my weekends? Anything I want, because I’m not taking anybody to little league or birthday parties.

I might just sit on the couch all day and re-watch Game of Thrones. Because I can. There’s literally no one to stop me.

But back to earth: you have to have that giant SUV because you need to drive your whole family to the dentist. I have a small SUV, that is a hybrid, because I don’t have to drive anybody. Plus I never go to the dentist.

You have to buy all those baby clothes that are going to be too small in three weeks. Where do you think they come from? Wait, where do clothes come from, trees? Let’s say trees.

There’s probably a 50 square mile hole of clear cut in the rainforest for every rugrat you’ve ever had. You should go down there and see the plaque that says, “This Portion of Jungle Used for Kyle’s Grranimals.” It’s made out of jaguar bones.

Photo by roya ann miller on Unsplash. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

I’m not here to nag or disparage, I’m here to help. I’m here to solve the problem of overpopulation and climate change. Yes, we can do that with this one blog post I have written.

Don’t have kids. There’s enough kids. Just don’t do it.

You want something to love you? Adopt a cat.

Things not working out in your marriage? Go to couples counseling.

You feel empty inside? Work on yourself. Volunteer.

So that problem’s solved, but what if you already have a kid? I mean, it’s not like you can just kill them, right? No, I am seriously asking.

So if you are not ready to kill your kids, the only answer is to not have any unless somebody invents a time machine or we colonize Mars.

Join Medium with my referral link - Eric Filipkowski

I know the last thing you need is another subscription, but this one supports writers! Your membership fee directly…

ericfilipkowski.medium.com

8 Things I Learned From a Month of Blindness

“I couldn’t see real good!”

medium.com

I Hate Vinegar

You should too

medium.com

My wife the computer

A love story

ericfilipkowski.medium.com

Brand Art courtesy of David Todd McCarty