From my series, “I’m actually disabled, please don’t cancel me!”
8 Things I Learned From a Month of Blindness
“I couldn’t see real good!”
On the last day of August, I had a surgery to replace an ill-fitting lens implant in my left eye.
There were some complications and the last of my sutures hasn't come out yet, but overall it went well and my doctor is pleased with the results.
However, that meant that I was legally blind in one eye for about a month and it was a learning experience that has changed me for good.
So, if you came here for a life-affirming, emotional list that makes you feel better about yourself for not being me, you came to the right place!
8. Seeing is important! Sighted people take it for granted, but this world is not designed from the ground-up to take you where you need to go on auditory clues alone. You might see those cross-walks that shout “WALK! WALK! WALK!” and think, “Boy those lucky bastards have it easy!” but life is not one big crosswalk. Life is a highway. And try crossing one of those.
7. Blindness is not a wheelchair. Unless you have a white cane with a red tip or a service dog, people will assume you can see and are just being rude until you explicitly tell them you can’t. And then they will go, “Oh I’m sorry, yeah, no, take your time, I was fake-coughing about something else, fellow ATM user.”
6. If your shoes are tied loosely, you might not actually be able to tell the right from the left by ‘feel’ alone. I know, I stole this one from the Bible but it still applies to this day.
5. Skunks look a lot like cats in the dark. Fortunately, skunks also have terrible vision so they are likely not to notice you before your wife intervenes and tells you to get away as fast as possible.
3. Most typefaces are really small. Even on the large monitor I plug my laptop into, it can be hard to distinguish specific details like the exact spelling of certain words or which number is which.
2. That thing where you go blind and suddenly your other senses are heightened and you turn into Daredevil is a bunch of crap. I knew this after I tried to drive and do parkour, both with disastrous results but to be scientific, I conducted an experiment with my neighbor. Out of a total of 30 throwing stars I was only able to hit him 3 times! This was equal to or worse than the control machine I used that threw them at random times and in random directions at the mall.
1. Finally, I learned that I am an inspirational person. Some call me a hero, but I don’t know about this. My achievements in light of my personal struggles are certainly heroic, but does this make me a hero? Probably, but I will let history be the judge. I was a pretty normal person called upon by fate to have a fairly routine surgery and I rose to the occasion with flying colors: only spending several days crying and screaming and cursing God about it. After that, I decided I wasn’t going to let this setback define me or stop me from doing the things I love like driving or parkour or throwing stars and if that’s not heroic, I guess I don’t know what that means.
