A Get Well Dinner

Don’t Do The NyQuil Chicken TikTok Challenge

Consider the Flonase meatballs instead

“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.” — Dave Barry

I was minding my business when my grandson sent me a TikTok with laughing and crying emojis. When I opened the video, I found a person making NyQuil chicken. No. I did not mistype. Yes. NyQuil chicken is an actual dish. My grandson knows I am usually out of the loop, so he tries to keep me up to date. He is trying to help me remain a relevant writer as I get older.

NyQuil Is Not Just for Colds and Flu

To make NyQuil chicken, acquire some normal chicken breasts, lightly sear the chicken in oil, then pour blue drugs — NyQuil — on top of the chicken. Be careful not to lean your head over the chicken to smell like you would ordinarily do. This was a normal dish. The person in the video says the steam coming off the “food” is strong and makes you very sleepy. They also say to cook the chicken between five and thirty minutes. Ok. Five to thirty? I would never have guessed.

The threat of NyQuil Chicken is genuine enough that the FDA has issued a warning not to take excessive amounts of NyQuil and not to eat the blue chicken dish, but people continue to prepare it. The FDA cannot protect front-runner candidates for the Darwin Award.

“The Food and Drug Administration has issued an update advising consumers that cooking chicken in NyQuil is dangerous.

The warning, part of a broader FDA update published Thursday about “social media challenges,” refers to a video posted at least a year ago in which a TikTok user fries two chicken breasts in the cold and flu medicine. In the video, which went viral but appears to have been taken down, the user flips the meat with a flatiron hair straightener.” nbcnews.com, Cooking Chicken in NyQuil is Dangerous FDA Says

Who could have known that eating blue chicken cooked in boiling NyQuil would cause health problems? I am so surprised. The medicated chicken made me think of a few other valuable medications to make a person feel better.

Preparation-H Meat Balls

A new condiment for use on meat in between ketchup and mustard. Preparation H is designed to be used near balls. If you rub it between two buns, it soothes the burning butt. Now it will add flavor and texture to your meat. Don’t you love a little twang when you take that first bite? Everyone will envy your meatball process.

Chicken Noodle Soup Enema

I bet a chicken noodle soup enema would hit the spot during a flu bout when you go from hot to shivering cold. It would be even better if you ate chicken noodle soup while receiving the enema. I bet that would fix the temperature problem, as your entire system, from mouth to the ass, would be full of warm, delicious soup.

Baby Aspirin Spaghetti

Baby Aspirin spaghetti is another recipe that could take health to the next level. Make regular spaghetti with meat sauce, but then, right before serving, sprinkle a few hundred bright yellow 81 mg baby aspirin tablets. This is an excellent way to improve heart health. Every spoonful of spaghetti would be a boost to your heart and crunchy. The texture of Baby aspirin spaghetti is unmatchable. Nothing else in the world gives you that texture. There don’t you feel better already?

Flonase Melon Balls

Many people suffer from seasonal hay fever. I am one of them. During certain times of the year, I start every morning spraying stuff up my nose to not be miserable all day. It is a hassle. But what if I could eat delicious melon balls instead?

Starting with the scooped melon balls — honeydew, cantaloupe, and watermelon — make a small hole in each melon, insert the nasal spray and give it a good pump. This pump deposits the medicine into the melon ball. Eat the melon ball, reaping all the inherent melon’s inherent goodness and antihistamine effects of the spray right in your mouth and throat. It might be a little bitter but hey anything for better health.

Help Me Help You

I have plenty of other recipes, but it will take me a moment to implement the three above, so I am too busy to document more now. After I try all the above, I bet my health will be unbelievable.

I invite you to come to dinner with me. I will make all the specialties for you to sample. We can get better together. Remember, I am here to keep us healthy. Please help me help you.

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