Don’t Be Yourself

Be the person you would find interesting

“Be yourself” has become an overused and sometimes misused phrase. When we are stressed out or appear awkward, there is always a plethora of people ready to tell us to be ourselves.

And, strangely or not, we almost exclusively tell people to be themselves when they are unable to attract others or are unhappy with themselves. As if this has become an automatic response to any uncomfortable situation and an excuse for anyone who can’t cope with certain circumstances.

But do we truly understand what it means to be oneself? Is it even possible to be completely saturated by oneself and only oneself?

We are social beings.

Before moving further in our analysis, let’s start with this cliche you have all probably heard or read numerous times: “we are social beings.” That means each of our beliefs, behaviors, patterns of action, and subconscious biases are products of what we have seen and felt. In other words, who we are is a result of noises and accumulated actions that we have witnessed as children, teenagers, and eventually adults.

Therefore, if we behave awkwardly in a particular situation, it is because what we have learned or felt about that situation is not in harmony with what other people expect from us. Or maybe the person we have trained to be during that situation is not the attribute that other people want us to have.

Under this circumstance, there are three main alternatives: figuring out how to cope with this social incoherence, letting it be that way, or acting following our own beliefs. But be aware that any of those choices will impact your social value.

The problem with the first attitude is that it’s not always beneficial to abide by external circumstances. We must sometimes go against the norm. However, if we do disobey some social norms, we must understand why and accept responsibility for the possible consequences.

The problem with the second attitude is that if you feel incoherence between you and your surroundings and do nothing about it, you seem awkward and unconfident. As a result, you will look unattractive and unrelatable.

However, if you act according to your purpose and what you want out of the situation, while some may not like you, those who understand you will find you interesting.

I want to be successful.

As children, our environment was imposed on us. However, when we become young adults, we have the power to select our inner circles and mentors. Besides, our generation is extremely fortunate to have social media to help them connect with almost any type of person they want.

The thing is, we must first decide what kind of person we want to be and then look for people who showcase similar patterns in their behaviors or discourses. And guess what? It’s not that difficult to figure out who we want to be. Our minds often tell us which path we must take to become our true version because we are more likely to find things in which we are naturally talented interesting.

1. Choose your mentors

If you want to be interesting, you must find some role models in what you are truly passionate about and then keep working on it. I’d advise you, though, to select two or more people, so you can have different perspectives on things. However, if you can only find one, just keep it.

Then try to connect with that person by either working with or for them or simply hanging out with them. And you’ll notice that, with little effort, you are naturally evolving into the person you want to be.

And as you gain clarity about your path, you will stop acting awkwardly. Because you’ll be confident about who you are and what you want to accomplish.

2. Select your allies

When you surround yourself with people who have completely different goals than you, they are more likely to undervalue you and may eventually become a burden. Because they are unable to relate to you.

However, spending most of your time with people with whom you share similar goals can help you gain confidence. Seeing them grow can also inspire you to work harder on yourself. And when you are facing difficulties, you’ll easily find people to give you some advice.

Be interesting

Even if everyone tells you to be yourself, don’t be satisfied with who you are if you believe that many aspects of your life could have been better if you had worked harder. The sad truth is that nobody wants a friend who is sluggish and insecure. Most of the time, being oneself benefits no one, neither you nor your surroundings.

However, if you decide to work on yourself in order to provide something valuable to your environment, you will become more interesting and will be rewarded in the long run.

As a result, instead of being your own slave, strive for continuous improvement. Always remind yourself that you can be a better person. Be open-minded so that you can detect and work on your flaws as soon as possible. Then, you’ll realize that you’re capable of being more than your current self.

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