Do You Want To Know What Sexy Is?
Being sexy means I am not available for emotionally unavailable men anymore.

The word sexy reminds me of my conversation with a ten years old Naina. She’s the daughter of my friend. I used to be in regular touch with them but then I decided to keep only quality people in my life.
I remember the day she told me she liked the article I wrote for her. She submitted that assignment to her school. Her teacher praised her a lot and when she wrote back to me on WhatsApp I told her “That’s sexy.” She didn’t know the meaning, and I didn’t mean it in sexual terms either.
After that chat, her mother called me and asked me “Did you use that word?” She further added, “Naina doesn’t know all this she is very small. We don’t use such language with her at home.” I was surprised and I laughed at it. I never used that word with her or anyone else again.
I call everything either sexy or sexylicious. That’s my way of showing gesture towards things and people I love the most in life. Being sexy for me means wearing my vulnerabilities on my sleeves. Being sexy means I don’t give a damn about others and if they are too fragile to get hurt by my honest remarks they shouldn’t interact with me.
Being sexy means I am who I am and your consent is not needed. Being sexy means I was once 64 kgs and now I am 56.5 kgs. Being sexy means I have been working out every day since 11th June 2018. Being sexy means you can leave, the door is always open, just don’t create the drama because I have been through enough in my life.
Being sexy means I will give it back to you so don’t try to tell me I am just a single woman living all alone. Being sexy means I will abuse you if you abuse me because I am not a saint. Being sexy means I will tell you the truth on your face because I hate back-biters. Being sexy means you shouldn’t just praise me for the heck of it if you don’t mean it at all.
Being sexy means I don’t go to the parlor more often and prepare my DIY facemasks and skincare regime. Being sexy means I have donated my hair once to Cancer patients and my hair has grown again. I am going to do the same. Being sexy means I booze on my terms and you can judge me wholeheartedly because you don’t matter to me.
Being sexy means I wear shorts and roam around in them without entertaining morons. Being sexy means I can cook, clean, and dance on my own. Being sexy means I am not available for emotionally unavailable men anymore. Being sexy means I am fighting my divorce case with pride in my eyes and I know I will get through this.
Being sexy means I can again go to the police station all alone to file FIRs again and won’t take myself for granted. Being sexy means you cannot judge my choices because you have never trodden into my shoes. Being sexy means I will show you with time who I am and why I rock even when I am at my worse.
Being sexy means I wake up at 4 am and cry myself to sleep again for the next few hours. Being sexy means acceptance of my depression and anxiety. Being sexy means I have been suicidal but I won’t hang myself. Being sexy means someday I will see my silver lining too. Being sexy means I love wearing my eye makeup and I have a beautiful soul. Being sexy means I love jumping on my bed.
In response to the writing prompt of Geetika Sethi
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Gurpreet Dhariwal is the author of Three books. Her books are available on Amazon, Flipkart, and BlueRose. Connect with Gurpreet at www.gurpreetdhariwal.com
