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e apology is owing to your mistakes without looking needy or weak. If you cower in her emotions, you are going to look weak and she doesn’t want you to look weak.</p><p id="c09b">She wants you to be strong enough to change your behavior. When you say you are sorry over and over again, she will think you just want her forgiveness and she won’t be able to trust you again.</p><p id="8eb8">So instead of saying I’m sorry, you can say;</p><p id="6f88"><i>“Babe, I messed up and you deserve to be treated better than that. I promise I won’t drink more than two bottles whenever you are not with me because that’s when I lose myself. I regret what I’ve done and I promise it won’t happen again.”</i></p><p id="786e">When you say these words be sure they come from a sincere place or else she will feel manipulated.</p><p id="29df">To prove you won’t repeat such mistakes again, you can tell her what you intend to do to make sure you never give her a reason to doubt your loyalty.</p><p id="e30a">You can own your mistake by telling her the real reason why you acted out character and what you intend to give up to make sure it doesn’t happen again.</p><p id="61c4">She needs to know you do not only feel guilty but that you value her trust and that you are willing to do what it takes to keep her trust and respect for you.</p><p id="da09">Another way to gain her trust and forgiveness is to say something like:</p><p id="4f79"><i>“I know how bad this is. It wasn’t my best character and it won’t happen again. I promise I will avoid Bambi from now on because I know she likes me and sometimes it strokes my ego but I won’t let her come between us.”</i></p><p id="d4fd">Apologies work best when it shows your strength in handling the situation.</p><p id="b797">When you show your strength instead of your weakness, it proves you want to be a better man because that’s who you are and who she deserves to be with.</p><p id="cea3">She may still be upset after you’ve apologized and that’s normal. It takes time to regain one’s trust and respect after a betrayal, so give her some space.</p><p id="1083">If she is emotionally turned apart, it may not be an appropriate time to give an apology. It’s best you wait till the next day when she’s calmer and ready to talk.</p><p id="13ff">It will help if you asked her what she would like you to do in order to prove yourself again.</p><p id="dba7">But make sure you follow through with the conversation even if she acts like she’s over it.</p><p id="863a">Getting betraye

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d by someone you trust doesn’t just go away as most men believe. You have to admit your mistakes and apologize for them.</p><p id="3494"><i>If you would like to get updated with stories like this in your inbox, <a href="https://jesblake85.medium.com/membership">subscribe</a> to my newsletter. You might want to <a href="https://jesblake85.medium.com/membership">become a premium</a> member, for as low as $5 you get the chance to read unlimited stories on Medium. Check out more of my relationship stories <a href="https://medium.com/@jesblake85/list/relationship-70ee0bbde134">here</a>.</i></p><div id="39d0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/5-reason-men-wont-forgive-a-cheating-wife-but-women-will-acf63660d2db"> <div> <div> <h2>5 Reasons Men Won’t Forgive a Cheating Wife, but Women Will</h2> <div><h3>Forgiveness is free but not cheap.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*mVshYZSF61QseM2NRupAcw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="4ef7" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/dont-ask-her-out-to-a-date-if-you-won-t-pay-her-bill-d900656e117a"> <div> <div> <h2>Don’t Ask Her Out to a Date If You Won’t Pay Her Bill</h2> <div><h3>Yes, she’s not obligated to pay a dime.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*SOfEhjYnW0i74CKWspSccQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="dc81" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/some-people-are-not-dating-material-and-this-is-how-you-spot-them-e09bead9318c"> <div> <div> <h2>Some People Are Not Dating Material, and This Is How You Spot Them</h2> <div><h3>Is he the guy for you?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*R_9R-Nq7IKukQyI5TCxkbw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Do You Feel Guilty for Hurting Her and Want to Fix It?

Saying “I’m sorry” can actually ruin your chances of forgiveness.

We all mess up at some point in the relationship. We hurt our partner, sometimes without realizing we are doing it.

It’s no secret that men find it difficult to admit their mistakes and will avoid any means of apology.

Let’s assume you canceled your date to go out with the boys, ended up flirting with Bambi, and then she sees photos of you on social media.

Or maybe you did more than flirt with Bambi. You spent all of your savings on her and now you’re too broke to pay your own share of the rent.

The situation is pretty hard to chew. But if you go down on your knees, and say “I’m sorry” will she forgive you?

Probably, not.

Women can be fickle when it comes to love and relationships. When they fall in love, they do whatever it takes to keep the relationship strong.

But when you betray her, it takes more than two words to get back on her good side.

Men on the other hand, easily act on impulses. One minute they’re professing their undying love and the next minute they are checking out another woman.

And when you hurt them, they take pretty badly, even worse than women.

Cheating is nothing new in modern relationships. Both men and women get hurt when cheated on. Although, cheating isn’t as bad as it seems. There are times the couple ends up being stronger than ever after an affair scandal.

However, women are more likely to forgive a cheating partner than men, but you have to know the right words to say for you to earn her forgiveness.

How to give an apology without looking weak

Sometimes, just saying a simple “I’m sorry” makes you look weak and instead of her feeling angry or disappointed, she loses all respect for you.

The key to a sincere apology is owing to your mistakes without looking needy or weak. If you cower in her emotions, you are going to look weak and she doesn’t want you to look weak.

She wants you to be strong enough to change your behavior. When you say you are sorry over and over again, she will think you just want her forgiveness and she won’t be able to trust you again.

So instead of saying I’m sorry, you can say;

“Babe, I messed up and you deserve to be treated better than that. I promise I won’t drink more than two bottles whenever you are not with me because that’s when I lose myself. I regret what I’ve done and I promise it won’t happen again.”

When you say these words be sure they come from a sincere place or else she will feel manipulated.

To prove you won’t repeat such mistakes again, you can tell her what you intend to do to make sure you never give her a reason to doubt your loyalty.

You can own your mistake by telling her the real reason why you acted out character and what you intend to give up to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

She needs to know you do not only feel guilty but that you value her trust and that you are willing to do what it takes to keep her trust and respect for you.

Another way to gain her trust and forgiveness is to say something like:

“I know how bad this is. It wasn’t my best character and it won’t happen again. I promise I will avoid Bambi from now on because I know she likes me and sometimes it strokes my ego but I won’t let her come between us.”

Apologies work best when it shows your strength in handling the situation.

When you show your strength instead of your weakness, it proves you want to be a better man because that’s who you are and who she deserves to be with.

She may still be upset after you’ve apologized and that’s normal. It takes time to regain one’s trust and respect after a betrayal, so give her some space.

If she is emotionally turned apart, it may not be an appropriate time to give an apology. It’s best you wait till the next day when she’s calmer and ready to talk.

It will help if you asked her what she would like you to do in order to prove yourself again.

But make sure you follow through with the conversation even if she acts like she’s over it.

Getting betrayed by someone you trust doesn’t just go away as most men believe. You have to admit your mistakes and apologize for them.

If you would like to get updated with stories like this in your inbox, subscribe to my newsletter. You might want to become a premium member, for as low as $5 you get the chance to read unlimited stories on Medium. Check out more of my relationship stories here.